[video | locked to Unseelie]

[tacticalturtleneck]

Wait, Unseelie fans. I've got something for you.

It's called....Lacrosse.

Wait, what was that? We've got more important things to worry about?

How about you

SHUT UP

Don't even waste my time with that. This is a direct order from the Queen herself. Who is also extremely hot. The hottest Queen since Queen Elizabeth's younger years who I actually don't know what she looks like but she was the first Queen to come to mind.

Seriously, sign up. I'll supply all the equipment, money, and training so you won't have any excuses. You just have to play and have some fun. If I get a few teams going, hell we can have a tournament and a betting pool to go around.

Huh, you have something else to say? What's Lacrosse good for?

Uh, the glutes for one thing. Who doesn't like a shapely ass? Play Lacrosse and you'll get laid constantly, guaranteed. It's also good for teamwork which means when you tag in a second person, there will be double the pleasure.

Did I mention gambling, because I totally did. You'll totally make out like a Native American (I'm like 1/16th Cherokee so that's not racist).

Oh, yeah, it's an all-age sport. So don't try anything with the kids, sickos.

So who wants to sign up and who wants to recommend team names?

Comments

Video, Permaprivate

[gordianknots]

[Waver's taken care of his blank staring for about five minutes before responding. Part of this had to be a hallucination, or some weird fever dream, but no. It's the Drabwurld being the Drabwurld.

But at least, for once, this isn't about war. It's just ridiculous.

Far be it from him to discourage a good war distraction.]

Have you also considered using the lockets to broadcast matches?

Video, Permaprivate

[tacticalturtleneck]

...what? Seriously?

[Something that has never crossed his mind.]

I'm gonna need to hire new people. Cameramen. Announcers who scream GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL. Producers and stuff like that.

Good thing the Queen gave me extra money.

[gordianknots]

From the sounds of it you'd make an excellent commentator yourself, although you might be over-taxing yourself in the short term.

[Wait. Hang on.]

Good lord, Morla is funding this?

video; Unseelie locked (because everyone's gon enjoy this probably)

[gandere]

Gambling? [ Can she really bet on this sport? ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

That's what I said. By the way, it's not racist when I say it but it is when you do.

[gandere]

I didn't say anything except the word gambling! [ QUIT CALLING HER RACIST WHERE EVERYONE CAN HEAR. ]

Video

[notavirtue]

Explain the mechanics of this 'sport'.

[There's a .oo1% chance this isn't going to be as useless and stupid as he thinks it is, but there's only one way to find out.]

Video

[tacticalturtleneck]

Alien bro....that's a freaking complicated question. I hope you come in peace. Or pieces.

Video

[notavirtue]

I am a soldier. [That explains the peace part.]

If you cannot explain how your 'lacrosse' works, I do not see why anyone would be interested in it.

Unseelie Locked

[scorchedchivalry]

...do not these teams have mascots?

[tacticalturtleneck]

When I get some team names, they totally will.

[scorchedchivalry]

[Saber was quiet for a moment.]

May I make a request, Archer?

video;

[boutant]

Good for morale, keeps people in shape... I think I'm in.

video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

Awesome! I knew I could count on you! ...what team are you joining?

video;

[boutant]

What teams are there so far?

video;

[vaccinations]

The fuck is LaCrosse?

Is that the one where you beat each other up with bats?

[A beat.]

I'm fucking great at gambling though.

video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

Bats? Bats are for losers. Lacrosse is for people with actual skill. If you want to be on a team, you're totally welcome to join.

[vaccinations]

So... it's it just punching people then? Because bats definitely sound better than punching.

[You have really weird standards. But she shrugs.]

Fine, I'm in. As long this isn't a cover for you to be a huge creep. [He brought it up first, so he's gonna get shit for it.]

[video]

[chaoticwhimsy]

You should name one of the teams the Chocobos!

[Lumina pauses after that clearly brilliant declaration, then...]

What's lacrosse, anyway?

[video]

[tacticalturtleneck]

People are making their own teams so if you think you can get ten players, go ahead.

But lacrosse is an awesome game where you take nets and toss balls into goals. I think special powers will be allowed.

[video]

[chaoticwhimsy]

That sounds like a lot of work. I'll just get someone else to name their team that.

[Hm.]

Some people have pretty cheaty powers, you know.

video »

[herotypical]

So. This is how the mighty Sterling Archer girds himself for battle, huh? With collegiate-level Teutonic showmanship.

I should've seen it coming. [ seriously? lacrosse? ]

video »

[tacticalturtleneck]

I'll take that as a "Yes, Archer, all that completely turned me on and what team do you recommend I join".

video;

[wilee]

I'll play.

[ or you know, try to. maybe. at least she can get away with being a little aggressive here, unlike at school, right? this is the worst idea ever ]

video;

[tacticalturtleneck]

You see, this is awesome. You've got three teams to pick from. The Lion, the Spiders, and the Dinosaurs.

They need some work, yeah, I know.