[video | locked to Unseelie]

[tacticalturtleneck]

Wait, Unseelie fans. I've got something for you.

It's called....Lacrosse.

Wait, what was that? We've got more important things to worry about?

How about you

SHUT UP

Don't even waste my time with that. This is a direct order from the Queen herself. Who is also extremely hot. The hottest Queen since Queen Elizabeth's younger years who I actually don't know what she looks like but she was the first Queen to come to mind.

Seriously, sign up. I'll supply all the equipment, money, and training so you won't have any excuses. You just have to play and have some fun. If I get a few teams going, hell we can have a tournament and a betting pool to go around.

Huh, you have something else to say? What's Lacrosse good for?

Uh, the glutes for one thing. Who doesn't like a shapely ass? Play Lacrosse and you'll get laid constantly, guaranteed. It's also good for teamwork which means when you tag in a second person, there will be double the pleasure.

Did I mention gambling, because I totally did. You'll totally make out like a Native American (I'm like 1/16th Cherokee so that's not racist).

Oh, yeah, it's an all-age sport. So don't try anything with the kids, sickos.

So who wants to sign up and who wants to recommend team names?

Comments

[herotypical]

Wait. I'm confused. [ time for a blonde moment. ] Is he Spanish? Or English? Or both. I mean -- I'm guessing people can be both. Both's doable, right?

[tacticalturtleneck]

You can't tell with those rich Eurolosers. They're all inbred.

[herotypical]

H-hey. I've known some decent across-the-ponders. Y'know. In my time.

[ code: she's totally slept with one. maybe two. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

Decent? If you can get past the bad breath and terrible teeth.

[herotypical]

You've clearly met some exclusively shady Brits.

[ except she can't really argue on the teeth thing. fangs? not very attractive. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

You're talking about a bunch of people who would swear up and down that Irish people were black. They're all shady.

[herotypical]

And yet you gotta admit they got some great words. Charming words. You'd barely think they were cussing each other out, the words are so damn darling.

[tacticalturtleneck]

You mean like...

[British Accent Archer]

...you're all fur coat and no knickers!

[herotypical]

[ good lord. it seems buffy summers is capable of laughter. ]

Exactly. Throw in a few casual buggerations and I'd never know you from the real thing.

[tacticalturtleneck]

...holy shit!

[herotypical]

What? Is buggeration not de rigueur?

[tacticalturtleneck]

No. I was just thinking how hard of a boner I got when you laughed.

1/2

[herotypical]

Ew. Gross. No -- ugh, shut up.

[ except... ]

2/2

[herotypical]

[ isn't there something just a little bit heartwarming about good decent laughter being so rawly appreciated? like maybe there's hope yet for this world while men still liked to hear women laugh.

but...no. nope. still gross. still ew. still awful. buffy huffs: ] Some things are so very much better left unsaid. Or maybe even unthought. Go. Unthink it. Right now.

[tacticalturtleneck]

Too late. I've already burned it into my memory.

[herotypical]

Well? Start unburning it. Or else...

[ or else what? she doesn't have much she can threaten, here. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

Or else what? This could go in an awesome direction.

[herotypical]

Or else you are so gonna have to settle for your Doctor Spaniard. No more dulcet Californian tones for you and your...racketball matches. Whatever.

[ professor. and lacrosse. she knows; she just mucks it up on purpose. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

What?! He might be somewhat pretty but there's no way I'm banging a guy!

[Too bad he's taking in the wrong way.]

Fine, unburning or whatever the hell.

[herotypical]

-- As an announcer. Wow. Presume, much?

[ huff. ] Wait. What do you mean -- somewhat pretty?

[ trainwreck. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

You know, for a guy? It's totally not gay to say another guy is pretty.

[herotypical]

Nah. It's fair. I'm just thinking -- maybe you should introduce us. A girl should get to know her fellow -- uhm -- announcer. Y'know?

What's his name?

[tacticalturtleneck]

Professor Spaniard.

[That was the only name he was given....]

Hey, wait a second. I saw him first, you keep your filthy valley paws off him!

[herotypical]

[ she waggles her fingers in front of the locket. ]

Excuse you. These valley paws are exquisitely manicured. Not filthy at all.

[tacticalturtleneck]

I've got my eyes on you.......