[video | locked to Unseelie]

[tacticalturtleneck]

Wait, Unseelie fans. I've got something for you.

It's called....Lacrosse.

Wait, what was that? We've got more important things to worry about?

How about you

SHUT UP

Don't even waste my time with that. This is a direct order from the Queen herself. Who is also extremely hot. The hottest Queen since Queen Elizabeth's younger years who I actually don't know what she looks like but she was the first Queen to come to mind.

Seriously, sign up. I'll supply all the equipment, money, and training so you won't have any excuses. You just have to play and have some fun. If I get a few teams going, hell we can have a tournament and a betting pool to go around.

Huh, you have something else to say? What's Lacrosse good for?

Uh, the glutes for one thing. Who doesn't like a shapely ass? Play Lacrosse and you'll get laid constantly, guaranteed. It's also good for teamwork which means when you tag in a second person, there will be double the pleasure.

Did I mention gambling, because I totally did. You'll totally make out like a Native American (I'm like 1/16th Cherokee so that's not racist).

Oh, yeah, it's an all-age sport. So don't try anything with the kids, sickos.

So who wants to sign up and who wants to recommend team names?

Comments

[gandere]

Oh, that? I thought you were just being ornery and flippant as usual.

I believe having sex would ruin our already professional relationship.

[tacticalturtleneck]

....we had one of those?

[gandere]

We do now that I'm forming a lacrosse team!

[ Too bad, so sad. If he wanted to sleep with her, it should have been before this idea. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

We can totally hold this off for a couple days. I swear.

[gandere]

It's too late, I've already started forming the invitations to my official team. All work, no play--that's my motto.

[ It's not.

but now she has a convenient excuse to dodge his attempts to bed her. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

.........fuck you, Lacrosse.

[gandere]

Is it really going to make my ass more shapely? I'm just wondering.

[ RUBS IT IN. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

.........triple fuck you, Lacrosse.

[Rin has a nice ass, okay????]

[gandere]

Are we sticking to the traditional rules? Ten players?

[ Just making sure as she works on her roster. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

Yeah, yeah.

[SO DISAPPOINTED OVER HERE.]

[gandere]

Excellent.

... out of curiosity, do you plan to form a team yourself?

[tacticalturtleneck]

Nope. I gotta be a coach and a referee until someone learns the rules.

[gandere]

I'll pay you to coach my team exclusively. No other.

[ She can't afford losing. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

...I'll coach your team better than the others. But we need extra teams to actually play.

[gandere]

Listen, if you exclusively coach for my team and I make the best team, that will make all the other stupid loser teams pay up for my players. In the end, your hard work will be spread out among other teams and we'll be both insanely rich after the fact.

[tacticalturtleneck]

You're asking for the impossible. I have to teach the other teams the basic rules before the games actually start.

[gandere]

If I'm asking in the first place, it isn't the impossible. [ She's so full of herself. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

Listen, you non-Japanese person hater! I laid down the law so deal with it! This isn't America where you can threaten Congressmen over open carry gun control laws!

Oh right...all of America, this isn't Texas.

[gandere]

I'm not threatening you, yet. [ There's a difference. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

Good. Because bribes are a lot better.

[gandere]

Only when I receive something of value out of them. [ Pfft as if she's going to bribe him. ]

[tacticalturtleneck]

That's...the whole point.

[Good luck with that winning streak??????]

[gandere]

I'm thinking this is more along the lines of charity, isn't it? [ The coldest story ever told. ]

I attach you to my successful team and you reap the benefits.

[Totally here audio]

[chaoticwhimsy]

[Here this, Archer? This is a twelve year old giggling at your failure.]

[tacticalturtleneck]

Oh my god, this isn't The Ring!!!