video - unseelie locked;

[digophelia]

[ Alice has been trying to draw in her sketchpad for a while now and it's clear from how wrinkled the piece of paper is, that she's tried to draw on it to no avail. It's been erased numerous times. Right beside her are her imp and her rabbit, as always. She's been quiet at the villa, she's locked herself up acting stranger than before. ]

How funny it is when the mind brings so many images and memories that it cannot even transfer onto a sheet of paper. I know what I see, but it cannot go through my fingertips and onto my paper, unlike so many times before.

[ By the tone of her voice, she means more than that. Guarded as ever, Alice will not say what it is, other than she reluctantly places her pencil down on the paper. Art blocks are terrible, and they're more terrible than before. ]

I am sorry... for my absence. Please don't think of me as silly, but I lost a good companion of my mine. My mare. My horse. I took her in after my first battle, when her owner had fallen. I loved her dearly, she was my friend, too, as much as anyone else I know here.

[ Alice says this while trying not to cry. ]

I loathe to think of another animal as a replacement, but seeing as it is a necessity, I have no other choice. She had fallen in battle when I separated from the others.

[ When she went on her rampage after the Jabberwock, though she's not going to say that. Alice just rubs her rabbit's ears instead while looking at her blank paper. ]

I can try and buy one, if needed, if anyone wants to humor me. I know this is a silly request after everything that has happened -- selfish, even. I think it might be best if I left, for a small while, so I can clear my head and be useful again. No good comes of being a shut-in.

[ After all, ever since she came back, she's been acting stranger and much more distant than before. There is more here that she wants to say; she struggles with saying it. ]

I, well- never mind that. Please be well, all of you.

Comments

video;

[boutant]

Oh, Alice. I'm so sorry.

video;

[digophelia]

It's fine.

[ Not really. ]

I was foolish, I'm not even sure how- I found her wandering around on the battlefield looking for Mr. Celegorm.

[ And thus why she's so upset, she feels irresponsible. ] I'm sure he wouldn't be so pleased.

audio; private

[gandere]

We're all ailing in a way, Alice. [ Some less than others, since Rin doesn't seem all that troubled herself.

She's so good at covering up. ] What is it like..? If you don't mind me asking. I, I have never had a pet or an animal to love like you have.

audio; private

[digophelia]

I know. [ Never mind she's ducked out from everyone else for a week. ]

Well, they're people, too. She was my friend; Sophie and my impo are my friends. They're beings you can tell secrets to and they will never utter a word of it.

video

[chaoticwhimsy]

[Lumina just looks sad when she appears. It's a normal expression for her lately, so at least it works with the moment. She isn't a fan of horses, but Alice's was nice enough.]

...Do you want to borrow a chocobo? You could probably ride one of my younger ones...

[Considering how tiny you are.]

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[digophelia]

[ Seeing Lumina is enough to make her feel even more guilty for being upset. ]

That is entirely up to you, Lumina, I'm sure that you love them just as much.

[dragmire]

My stables are open to you, as ever. [He recalls her horse, though. He remembers riding to Mair alongside Celegorm, who once had mounted that same beast. He was born Gerudo and he knows the bond with your horse is an important one.] Perhaps one of her kin might be found there.

[digophelia]

[ This surprises her, just a little. ]

Thank you, Lord. Was there? Mister Celegorm was a good compatriot of yours; did he ever mention his horse had kin...?

private video

[bythewaves]

Alice. [ soft and quiet ]

Ah, little butterfly. Sometimes it is like that hm? That there is simply too much inside to come out. Keep trying, gwilwileth - one day you will find what you need. I am sorry to hear about your mare. Twas my brother's hm? I think... Celebrian left me monies enough, and she loved you dearly. I think I will pass you what she left me, eh?

private video

[digophelia]

She was Celegorm's.

[ Alice sucks in a breath. ]

I am sorry. He loved animals, didn't he? Well, I love them just as much. Oh, Mr. Maglor, that's fine, I don't want to take something from you that was your family's possession.

Video

[raavashing]

There's nothing silly about feeling sad at the loss of a friend. I wish I had the means to help you find another os-ah... horse -

[He really wanted to say ostrichhorse.]

- but I don't even know where to start for myself in finding an animal friend willing to carry me across this land. But I think you should know it's not silly. A friend is a friend, no matter the shape they take.

Video

[digophelia]

It's still silly, in times like these, especially after a battle.

[ And Alice is continuing her paradox for feeling guilty for feeling guilty. ]

A lot of my fellow Unseelie have fallen and here I am... Well. I'd imagine it shouldn't be too difficult to purchase a companion for you, sir.

[edgar_of_etheria]

You need a horse? I... well, I have some clegs. They're a mated pair. Maybe if Duskwhisper has enough when she's ready for her first clutch, you could have one of the babies...

[digophelia]

I am sorry, sir, but what is a cleg? [ And if they're infants, are they cute? ]

video

[getinthechariot]

I am sorry to hear that, girl. Losing a good horse is just the same as losing a good friend.

Should you desire, I would happily accompany you to purchase a new one.

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[digophelia]

She was my friend; I found her wandering on a battlefield looking for her first owner. He was slain in battle.

And I would very much appreciate it, Mr. Iskander. [ Alice forces a weak smile. ]

[sculptor_of_aman]

So sorry to hear that, dear one. I'll include her among the remembered, if I can get her image from you.

[digophelia]

[ When Nerdanel responds, Alice starts to cry, especially when she hears that. ]

She was grey and very pretty. I am... I am sorry. I took her when Celegorm passed and I failed her.

voice

[huntedby]

Would you like me to visit you?

[No apologies. For it is not her fault, and she knows Alice would rather not have such condolences.

But comfort, she can provide.]

voice

[digophelia]

I would come to you to make it easier, seeing as I am not in Caer Scima. [ Alice forces a small, weak smile. If anyone really could understand how haunted she is, she would. ]

[uneulogized]

It might be better if you left?

[He reframes a bit of this in his mind, and comes back to that one several times over. Jason wants her to clarify his meaning before he goes on.]

[digophelia]

Just for a small while, I want to clear my head. Like a walk, perhaps. [ This is an odd response, but she'll roll with it, as usual. ] It's not as if I'll up and vanish.

action;

[of_the_lake]

[Lancelot remained in another room, idly reading through texts and notes concerning smithing techniques from dwarves willing to actually share their trade with him aside from Gret. While his master seemed to be perfect in his eyes, he was assured there were habits Gret shared due to his height that might have been overcome by someone with less or greater mass.

Therein, he saw a few of his own flaws and he educated himself.

When he felt the thrum of his locket and saw Alice's video, he thought nothing of stepping into her room unannounced, bringing his papers with him.]

I'm going to sit with you, awhile.

action;

[digophelia]

[ Sophie is usually a very calm rabbit, more than most, when rabbits are easily frightened. Alice was giving her a piece of paper to chew on when Lancelot does come in. The rabbit stands up on her back legs and decides to sprint right out of the room, followed by an "uh oh" by Alice's imp friend. Being that the imp is fond of Alice, she trails after the rabbit, just as Alice starts to move. ]

Lancelot-!

[ She just now remembers that Sophie is still frightened of him, unfortunately. She can't scold him for that, Sophie does the same whenever Vanessa is around. Alice does what she can to not show too much exasperation, purely for the fact she struggles even more now with rebuking him. Alice is a shade of crimson as she pinches the bridge of her nose. ]

You should ask first! And even knock!

[ She's fully clothed, she's sitting there conveniently underneath her family's portrait. Alice settles herself, pressing her sketchbook over part of her face. She hasn't shooed him out, not yet. ]

What are you doing?

[selfimage]

The weary are always given one selfish request. Think of it as a freebie.

[ lots have died, including those in the castle, and including the Jabberwock. damn the Seelie comes to mind in this situation. ]

[digophelia]

In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't feel right, not after what has happened.

[ She won't entertain the thought of the Jabberwock; the damn thing has been coming back to her in both nightmares and hallucinations. In a way, it's easier for her to hone in on her grief and frustration with herself over the loss of her horse. ]