eachdraidh | video - unseelie locked;

[ Alice has been trying to draw in her sketchpad for a while now and it's clear from how wrinkled the piece of paper is, that she's tried to draw on it to no avail. It's been erased numerous times. Right beside her are her imp and her rabbit, as always. She's been quiet at the villa, she's locked herself up acting stranger than before. ]

How funny it is when the mind brings so many images and memories that it cannot even transfer onto a sheet of paper. I know what I see, but it cannot go through my fingertips and onto my paper, unlike so many times before.

[ By the tone of her voice, she means more than that. Guarded as ever, Alice will not say what it is, other than she reluctantly places her pencil down on the paper. Art blocks are terrible, and they're more terrible than before. ]

I am sorry... for my absence. Please don't think of me as silly, but I lost a good companion of my mine. My mare. My horse. I took her in after my first battle, when her owner had fallen. I loved her dearly, she was my friend, too, as much as anyone else I know here.

[ Alice says this while trying not to cry. ]

I loathe to think of another animal as a replacement, but seeing as it is a necessity, I have no other choice. She had fallen in battle when I separated from the others.

[ When she went on her rampage after the Jabberwock, though she's not going to say that. Alice just rubs her rabbit's ears instead while looking at her blank paper. ]

I can try and buy one, if needed, if anyone wants to humor me. I know this is a silly request after everything that has happened -- selfish, even. I think it might be best if I left, for a small while, so I can clear my head and be useful again. No good comes of being a shut-in.

[ After all, ever since she came back, she's been acting stranger and much more distant than before. There is more here that she wants to say; she struggles with saying it. ]

I, well- never mind that. Please be well, all of you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mm, but it was not you who killed her no? So the blame is not yours. Do not take more than you owe, little butterfly, or it will destroy you.

[ She's about to say that she's done plenty of that; over the years, she blamed herself for the loss of her family. At nineteen, she can look back and say that the blame she placed in herself was harsh. What can a seven year old do about those things? But not with the horse, not for a while. ]

I saw her as a friend; someone just asked me how I could see animals as friends? But they're so pure of heart, more than humans. I don't know, it is still grief and grief doesn't go away so easily.

You are not the first to think so, nor will you be the last. Animals have their own feelings and preferences too, after all. I am sure she thought of you the same. No beast that Celegorm rode would ever have tolerated another save one that they themselves chose.

Grief is a terrible thing. [ A wry smile ] And I will not tell you 'do not'! But do not let it be burdened also with guilt. Grieve that the friend you had is gone, yes. But do not blame yourself, Alice.

They themselves chose? Did she chose him? [ Though it's not his intention, that does makes her feel a little more guilty. ]

Do you know where he possibly could have gotten her from? Lord Ganondorf mentioned the possibility of her having kin.

That is our way, yes - to let them chose who they will - Hiswafan chose me, I know. If she stayed with you, she wanted to, Alice. Celegorm's beasts were all the same - he gave them the freedom to go or stay, and many of them stayed for love. It hurt him terribly if they went. We do not always have that luxury, of course! In times of war we take whichever steed will bear us.

The stables, the same as my Hiswafan. It is possible they are from the same dam or sire, for they were not that dissimilar. You would need to ask the stable hands.

Ah, I see. [ That gives her reassurance that she didn't acted selfishly when taking her back. Unfortunately, it makes her feel a bit more guilty for being so reckless. ] Oh, Mr. Maglor, that sounds touching! I always thought animals could do such a thing. I leave the same choice to Sophie, after all.

[ She lets that rabbit wander about; she does like Waver, after all. ]

Lord Ganondorf has mentioned the same thing, but he was not sure that there were her kin there or not. I think I will wait on it, on one hand, my desires are a little selfish right now to have a horse.

You see? [ He smiles gently at her ] You already know, you only needed someone to tell you.

I do not think them selfish, little butterfly. You need a steed, hm? It is a necessity, in a place like this, and not an idle wish.

[ Oh, Maglor, you have no idea how good that is to hear. ]

It's a bit of both right now. You're lucky, being able to travel so quickly.

It is useful, to be sure. [ He nods ]

But I think me I would prefer to spend more time in the saddle, in truth. You could ask for such a boon of the Rulers, yourself, you know.

Possibly for the next time, if I chose to feign devotion and innocence for the sake of continuously milking their generosity.

[ She's not even going to deny it anymore. ]

All by yourself, Mr. Maglor?

Sometimes it can be helpful to be seen to be useful

[ not even going to try and discourage her to milk them for all she can get ]

Mm well... there are ... not many to ride with me these days.

Well, I would.

You don't have to be alone.

[ He smiles quietly at her ]

More reason for you to acquire a steed of your own hm? And then we can go out together. I am sure Hiswafan will not mind.

I'll see to it, but I wish you wouldn't undercut yourself so.

[ He shrugs and the very movement is tired ]

Maybe. But I do deserve it, Alice. There is no need to rush, hm?

You do not. I'm not one to take "no" as an answer in these matters.

So stubborn. [ He says fondly, and does not mention that he does not think he has much time left ]

Whenever you wish it, then.

I have every right to be, I've had good luck with someone like you.

[ More than he will know. ]

I do. After some rest, of course.

But like is not the same hm?

[ OH Alice he thinks If only I had more time ]

Then rest well, gwilwileth

When I first met him, I thought of you, actually, I thought how similar you both were. So much grief and anger, but... no. You're still far too composed.

[ Like her father, she still feels. ]

But he's here after all of that, so I have every right to be optimistic.

Am I? Perhaps I have had longer to learn how to cope.

Perhaps. Be safe, Alice.

video - unseelie locked;

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video

private video