eachdraidh | video - unseelie locked;

[ Alice has been trying to draw in her sketchpad for a while now and it's clear from how wrinkled the piece of paper is, that she's tried to draw on it to no avail. It's been erased numerous times. Right beside her are her imp and her rabbit, as always. She's been quiet at the villa, she's locked herself up acting stranger than before. ]

How funny it is when the mind brings so many images and memories that it cannot even transfer onto a sheet of paper. I know what I see, but it cannot go through my fingertips and onto my paper, unlike so many times before.

[ By the tone of her voice, she means more than that. Guarded as ever, Alice will not say what it is, other than she reluctantly places her pencil down on the paper. Art blocks are terrible, and they're more terrible than before. ]

I am sorry... for my absence. Please don't think of me as silly, but I lost a good companion of my mine. My mare. My horse. I took her in after my first battle, when her owner had fallen. I loved her dearly, she was my friend, too, as much as anyone else I know here.

[ Alice says this while trying not to cry. ]

I loathe to think of another animal as a replacement, but seeing as it is a necessity, I have no other choice. She had fallen in battle when I separated from the others.

[ When she went on her rampage after the Jabberwock, though she's not going to say that. Alice just rubs her rabbit's ears instead while looking at her blank paper. ]

I can try and buy one, if needed, if anyone wants to humor me. I know this is a silly request after everything that has happened -- selfish, even. I think it might be best if I left, for a small while, so I can clear my head and be useful again. No good comes of being a shut-in.

[ After all, ever since she came back, she's been acting stranger and much more distant than before. There is more here that she wants to say; she struggles with saying it. ]

I, well- never mind that. Please be well, all of you.

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Oh, Alice. I'm so sorry.

We're all ailing in a way, Alice. [ Some less than others, since Rin doesn't seem all that troubled herself.

She's so good at covering up. ] What is it like..? If you don't mind me asking. I, I have never had a pet or an animal to love like you have.

[Lumina just looks sad when she appears. It's a normal expression for her lately, so at least it works with the moment. She isn't a fan of horses, but Alice's was nice enough.]

...Do you want to borrow a chocobo? You could probably ride one of my younger ones...

[Considering how tiny you are.]

It's fine.

[ Not really. ]

I was foolish, I'm not even sure how- I found her wandering around on the battlefield looking for Mr. Celegorm.

[ And thus why she's so upset, she feels irresponsible. ] I'm sure he wouldn't be so pleased.

I know. [ Never mind she's ducked out from everyone else for a week. ]

Well, they're people, too. She was my friend; Sophie and my impo are my friends. They're beings you can tell secrets to and they will never utter a word of it.

My stables are open to you, as ever. [He recalls her horse, though. He remembers riding to Mair alongside Celegorm, who once had mounted that same beast. He was born Gerudo and he knows the bond with your horse is an important one.] Perhaps one of her kin might be found there.

[ Seeing Lumina is enough to make her feel even more guilty for being upset. ]

That is entirely up to you, Lumina, I'm sure that you love them just as much.

[ This surprises her, just a little. ]

Thank you, Lord. Was there? Mister Celegorm was a good compatriot of yours; did he ever mention his horse had kin...?

[ Better than Rin, but at least this was on her own level of comfort in a way. This is her first conversation with someone who isn't Alyosha, Waver, or Shirou and she's already making great strides in it. After all, she's the one who approached Alice instead of being approached herself. ]

Are they..?

I never knew... I just thought you kept them cause you fancied animals.

Edited 2015-02-21 02:12 (UTC)

Well, it would just be until you find a horse. [She grins.]

The hard part would be convincing one of them to leave their eggs behind.

That I could not say. But we rode from Caer Scima with many horses and men. I should not be surprised if one of those riders of them came with such a beast. But I cannot promise that it is so.

[Nor could he claim to know how to tell which is which. The stablemaster might, though. Or perhaps Alice might simply know from looking.]

Yes. Ever since I was a little girl, I had my cats and my older sister.

[ A decade later, it still pains her to think of Dinah and her children. But she lived an isolated life as a child, she had nothing but her animals. ]

They're pure of heart, they have no malicious intent in their hearts. They will never do anything to hurt you. That is why they're my friends.

Edited 2015-02-21 02:14 (UTC)

Oh, no... that sounds cruel! Taking away a mother chocobo from her eggs.

Yeah...I guess it would be pretty mean.

I only have the three for now.

[Until next week anyway hehe.]

That is fine; he said that he favored beasts over men and that he could speak to animals. I respected that and I did what I could to protect his mare.

[ A put out sigh. ]

I could ask his remaining brother, but I worry that would put a strain on him.

[ Rin wonders for a moment if Sakura's ever had a pet, once again putting Alice in an unfair comparison with a girl she can't openly love. ]

Nothing to ever hurt you... but horses, aren't they frightening? They can kill you with a simple kick if they're startled.

Oh, no, then please don't worry. I'd imagine they would be protective of them like any other mother would with their children.

[ She is still pretty concerned for her, however. ]

Lumina, are you alright?

If they are startled.

[ Alice emphasizes that. ]

But if you treat them well enough and love them, then you have nothing to fear. Unlike people who will hurt you because they like to.

Huh? [Crap she was being mopey again wasn't she.]

[She puts on one of her big fake smiles and shrugs.]

Hey you know me, I'm always fine!

[ Alice is just as secretive if not more with her state of mind. She won't press. Much. ]

Are you hurt?

Aren't animals natural predators compared to humans? They have no morals, they just... act on urge.

[ She's trying to understand, but fails to grasp it. This is a girl who grew up looking at animals as tools for her craft and nothing more. Not even strays came to visit her home in the ten years she lived alone. ]

I'm sorry, this is inappropriate. I just don't know how else to speak with you after everything that has happened to us all.

Nah. Maybe a little singed but I'm fine. [She leaned her locket back a bit so Alice could check, since she knew she wouldn't believe her.]

Out of necessity and survival. Whereas humans act out on their selfishness and desires; they use, abuse, and manipulate others, young and and old. And some do it in the most deceptive way possible, taking the guise of a healer. Animals are not as deceptive, they are not as manipulative. I would rather trust a predatory animal than a complete stranger. At least I know what I would be in for.

[ And she cannot help but make allusions to the doctors Bumby and Wilson; they are the prime examples, in her mind, of scum. Genuinely, she asks- ]

What do you mean?

Oh, goodness, why are you singed? Were you near fire?

[ There's no evidence of burns, but Alice is still fretting, nonetheless. No physical injuries doesn't account for the mental injuries. ]

Alice. [ soft and quiet ]

Ah, little butterfly. Sometimes it is like that hm? That there is simply too much inside to come out. Keep trying, gwilwileth - one day you will find what you need. I am sorry to hear about your mare. Twas my brother's hm? I think... Celebrian left me monies enough, and she loved you dearly. I think I will pass you what she left me, eh?

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