eachdraidh | video - unseelie locked;

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video - unseelie locked;

[ Alice has been trying to draw in her sketchpad for a while now and it's clear from how wrinkled the piece of paper is, that she's tried to draw on it to no avail. It's been erased numerous times. Right beside her are her imp and her rabbit, as always. She's been quiet at the villa, she's locked herself up acting stranger than before. ]

How funny it is when the mind brings so many images and memories that it cannot even transfer onto a sheet of paper. I know what I see, but it cannot go through my fingertips and onto my paper, unlike so many times before.

[ By the tone of her voice, she means more than that. Guarded as ever, Alice will not say what it is, other than she reluctantly places her pencil down on the paper. Art blocks are terrible, and they're more terrible than before. ]

I am sorry... for my absence. Please don't think of me as silly, but I lost a good companion of my mine. My mare. My horse. I took her in after my first battle, when her owner had fallen. I loved her dearly, she was my friend, too, as much as anyone else I know here.

[ Alice says this while trying not to cry. ]

I loathe to think of another animal as a replacement, but seeing as it is a necessity, I have no other choice. She had fallen in battle when I separated from the others.

[ When she went on her rampage after the Jabberwock, though she's not going to say that. Alice just rubs her rabbit's ears instead while looking at her blank paper. ]

I can try and buy one, if needed, if anyone wants to humor me. I know this is a silly request after everything that has happened -- selfish, even. I think it might be best if I left, for a small while, so I can clear my head and be useful again. No good comes of being a shut-in.

[ After all, ever since she came back, she's been acting stranger and much more distant than before. There is more here that she wants to say; she struggles with saying it. ]

I, well- never mind that. Please be well, all of you.

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If they are startled.

[ Alice emphasizes that. ]

But if you treat them well enough and love them, then you have nothing to fear. Unlike people who will hurt you because they like to.

Aren't animals natural predators compared to humans? They have no morals, they just... act on urge.

[ She's trying to understand, but fails to grasp it. This is a girl who grew up looking at animals as tools for her craft and nothing more. Not even strays came to visit her home in the ten years she lived alone. ]

I'm sorry, this is inappropriate. I just don't know how else to speak with you after everything that has happened to us all.

Out of necessity and survival. Whereas humans act out on their selfishness and desires; they use, abuse, and manipulate others, young and and old. And some do it in the most deceptive way possible, taking the guise of a healer. Animals are not as deceptive, they are not as manipulative. I would rather trust a predatory animal than a complete stranger. At least I know what I would be in for.

[ And she cannot help but make allusions to the doctors Bumby and Wilson; they are the prime examples, in her mind, of scum. Genuinely, she asks- ]

What do you mean?

We all have been troubled by this battle in some manner and here I am, asking you to explain to me how to love a pet, a steed--things I should learn naturally. Isn't it inappropriate considering your recent loss?

[ She's just no good at this stuff. ]

[ She's unfortunately (or fortunately) too socially stunted to notice. She's been asked worse questions. Though, she wonders if their previous tension has anything to do with it. ]

You do not own any animals, not like me. How is that strange?

Because every person I have met here has a horse or mount they trust to get them everywhere.

... and then I have a broom. [ Don't ask, Alice. Just. Don't. ]

[ She's always thought the idea of witches on brooms was absurd, even as a child. How the hell do people fly on brooms? They seem too light. ]

But you still have Fizzle.

Fizzle isn't an animal, he's a will-o-wisp. It'd be the same as claiming imps and fairies for pets when they aren't.

[ Does Alice want to find out? Flying brooms are all the rage with dark haired girls. ]

Sophe is not a pet.

[ Alice has a strange dichotomy when it comes to the concept of pets, clearly. ]

But Fizzle is like Sophie. He's your friend. So are the imps and fairies.

He's an highly intelligent spy who can recite to me every single thing that someone's said near him provided I treat him kindly.

[ Hope Alice didn't have any private conversations at The Barrel! ] ... so it's like that. They're friends with shorter life spans.

... I don't have many friends.

But if he did not like you, he wouldn't have stayed.

[ To Alice all imps and fairies she's crossed paths with are her friends. ]

He's still a friend, even if you say you don't have many friends. There isn't anything wrong with.

So your horse... was your friend too?

Is it okay to be friends... like that? [ What an awkward conversation. ]

Why wouldn't it be? Just because an animal cannot talk like a human can, doesn't mean they don't understand you. And the same goes for imps and fairies.

... I understand a bit better than I have before. Thank you again for opening my eyes to something previously not known to me.

Alice, you sound tired.

[ It's almost too abrupt, but maybe Rin had been waiting all this time to say so. ]

[ She's hoping that's not sarcasm; it's hard to read Rin sometimes. ]

I am tired.

... trouble sleeping? [ Probably rude to ask, but since when has Rin ever displayed manners?? ]

[ She pauses. She doesn't like talking about her nightmares, too, because of her past. The doctors were always interested in the inner workings of her mind and dreams, they thought, were clues to what was going on. ]

It's nothing new.

I'd ask why you haven't told me before, but I understand our... acquaintance is strained at best.

... nightmares?

Don't be absurd.

Well, yes, they're nightmares. [ She didn't ask about hallucinations, so that's half a lie, right? That's the other half of her problem. ]

[ Could probably help with those later, but where's the fun in that? Rin's unaware that she's being lied to or being told a partial truth, though she doesn't care to press the matter. ]

Aren't you aware that I'm a magus? I can help with that.

[ She falls into a careful silence again. For her, she's always been told her affliction was incurable and that she was mad. She knows that part of that solution would be returning to Wonderland soon, but it won't involve a mirror. ]

And, pray tell, how would you.

[ Normally she might preface it by reminding her that she's a Master and has a spiritual being connected to her that doesn't require sleep, yet they would be forced to see her dreams otherwise unless she contained them.

Unfortunately the last time the spoke about Master and Servant matters, it ended with an unbreakable blade at her face. Rin's not too keen on repeating that. ]

I, I have a lot of nightmares too. [ It isn't a lie if she speaks about it in present tense. ]

So I have a solution I drink that puts me in a dreamless sleep. It doesn't affect the sleep so you can still wake up if you're a light sleeper, but instead it just clears your consciousness.

[ The man behind her resentment of the Master and Servant pact is still responsible for her nightmares and her hesitancy behind it. She thinks this over and decides that it's better than the "treatments" in her past. She doesn't like any sort of medical help, after all. ]

If that is the case, then you should use that for yourself and not me.

[ Even if her relationship with Rin is still strained, Alice wants to turn that offer over to her. ]

I'm sure that you can use it, if not more so.

... Alice, I can make a lot of it. I lucked out with herbal supplies early on and have had a stock built up since then.

[ Seriously, this girl. ] You may have some to try and if it doesn't help, then we'll look for another method.

Even then-

[ It feels terrible to take help from someone when they're being just as afflicted. ]

Very well. But as long as they're limited to a drink and nothing else and nothing that alters too much of my mind.

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