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[ Alice has been trying to draw in her sketchpad for a while now and it's clear from how wrinkled the piece of paper is, that she's tried to draw on it to no avail. It's been erased numerous times. Right beside her are her imp and her rabbit, as always. She's been quiet at the villa, she's locked herself up acting stranger than before. ]

How funny it is when the mind brings so many images and memories that it cannot even transfer onto a sheet of paper. I know what I see, but it cannot go through my fingertips and onto my paper, unlike so many times before.

[ By the tone of her voice, she means more than that. Guarded as ever, Alice will not say what it is, other than she reluctantly places her pencil down on the paper. Art blocks are terrible, and they're more terrible than before. ]

I am sorry... for my absence. Please don't think of me as silly, but I lost a good companion of my mine. My mare. My horse. I took her in after my first battle, when her owner had fallen. I loved her dearly, she was my friend, too, as much as anyone else I know here.

[ Alice says this while trying not to cry. ]

I loathe to think of another animal as a replacement, but seeing as it is a necessity, I have no other choice. She had fallen in battle when I separated from the others.

[ When she went on her rampage after the Jabberwock, though she's not going to say that. Alice just rubs her rabbit's ears instead while looking at her blank paper. ]

I can try and buy one, if needed, if anyone wants to humor me. I know this is a silly request after everything that has happened -- selfish, even. I think it might be best if I left, for a small while, so I can clear my head and be useful again. No good comes of being a shut-in.

[ After all, ever since she came back, she's been acting stranger and much more distant than before. There is more here that she wants to say; she struggles with saying it. ]

I, well- never mind that. Please be well, all of you.

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... Alice, I can make a lot of it. I lucked out with herbal supplies early on and have had a stock built up since then.

[ Seriously, this girl. ] You may have some to try and if it doesn't help, then we'll look for another method.

Even then-

[ It feels terrible to take help from someone when they're being just as afflicted. ]

Very well. But as long as they're limited to a drink and nothing else and nothing that alters too much of my mind.

That's why you take some and try it out. It's just as if it's any other kind of medicine.

If it affects you differently than it does me, then we make adjustments until we find a solution you're happy with. If that doesn't happen, then we find alternative methods.

[ Solving problems is something she enjoys doing. It distracts her. ]

[ She has to remind herself that Rin doesn't know why she's a little nervous to try this, to keep herself in check. ]

I would hope so.

But I will not get my hopes up and that is entirely for another reason, not because of you.

That's fine, I wouldn't ask you to. I mean, I know that I'm good at what I do, but I'm no apothecary. You'd have to seek out someone who was better at the art of medicine than myself.

... but I have lived alone for many years without the use of modern medicine. What I can do might help and where's the harm in it?

You're fortunate.

[ She means it, really. While she doesn't feel comfortable with discussing too much of her past. ]

There are those I've seen practiced modern medicine and who were apothecaries that abused that. Their cures have been practically torture. Though it takes more than just medicine to soothe nightmares, Rin, it comes from your own willpower.

Probably. I do have that kind of frustrating personality that would will things into place.

[ Is she fortunate? Probably, it's nice to be able to rely on herself. ] There are many people in the world who abuse others. I hope someday you'll find I'm not one of them.

Hardly.

[ Rin is young. That personality flaw is so minor to her. ]

As long as he has his mind, that is all that matters to me.

I still have all three. [ And will until she needs to use one in order to save her life. ]

Three of what? [ Surely there's more to it than just a number. ]

My seals.

I don't intend to waste them.

I care for him.

[ Rin isn't intending to come off as crass, no, she knows this. To hear this still bothers her. Their relationship has grown, so it's a little easier for her to outright say it, knowing the nature of her feelings now. ]

And I am aware of the fact you will not treat him like a puppet. I only implore you to continue doing so. Please don't hurt him.

I know.

If they are used, it's a matter of life and death as my own life will effectively harm him.

I'll ask him where to send these and have them shipped out once I've settled down.

Edited 2015-02-21 08:13 (UTC)

I see.

[ She's not going to admit to Rin she wants to tail behind him for a while. And that's mostly because of her being a little shy, not because she's being spiteful. ]

[ She doesn't even consider spite to be a part of Alice's personality. Sometimes she gets angry at Lancelot himself for abandoning her during a time of need to seek her out, but at other times... Rin doesn't really need to depend on him unlike others. So it's all right to have this kind of distant relationship with a Servant. ]

Don't worry. [ It's a touch too ominous for Rin, who never enjoys being mysterious, but she's not going to point out that she can speak with Lancelot at any given time. That might creep her out further. ]

Take care.

[ And here she was about to look for him, too, but that doesn't look like a worry of hers anymore. The only thing that slightly upsets her is that Sophie an her imp have taken off. Some people don't know how to knock.

How embarrassing.

With a weary voice- ]

Do not worry about me, I'll be fine.

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