eachdraidh | video - unseelie locked;

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video - unseelie locked;

[ Alice has been trying to draw in her sketchpad for a while now and it's clear from how wrinkled the piece of paper is, that she's tried to draw on it to no avail. It's been erased numerous times. Right beside her are her imp and her rabbit, as always. She's been quiet at the villa, she's locked herself up acting stranger than before. ]

How funny it is when the mind brings so many images and memories that it cannot even transfer onto a sheet of paper. I know what I see, but it cannot go through my fingertips and onto my paper, unlike so many times before.

[ By the tone of her voice, she means more than that. Guarded as ever, Alice will not say what it is, other than she reluctantly places her pencil down on the paper. Art blocks are terrible, and they're more terrible than before. ]

I am sorry... for my absence. Please don't think of me as silly, but I lost a good companion of my mine. My mare. My horse. I took her in after my first battle, when her owner had fallen. I loved her dearly, she was my friend, too, as much as anyone else I know here.

[ Alice says this while trying not to cry. ]

I loathe to think of another animal as a replacement, but seeing as it is a necessity, I have no other choice. She had fallen in battle when I separated from the others.

[ When she went on her rampage after the Jabberwock, though she's not going to say that. Alice just rubs her rabbit's ears instead while looking at her blank paper. ]

I can try and buy one, if needed, if anyone wants to humor me. I know this is a silly request after everything that has happened -- selfish, even. I think it might be best if I left, for a small while, so I can clear my head and be useful again. No good comes of being a shut-in.

[ After all, ever since she came back, she's been acting stranger and much more distant than before. There is more here that she wants to say; she struggles with saying it. ]

I, well- never mind that. Please be well, all of you.

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[Lancelot remained in another room, idly reading through texts and notes concerning smithing techniques from dwarves willing to actually share their trade with him aside from Gret. While his master seemed to be perfect in his eyes, he was assured there were habits Gret shared due to his height that might have been overcome by someone with less or greater mass.

Therein, he saw a few of his own flaws and he educated himself.

When he felt the thrum of his locket and saw Alice's video, he thought nothing of stepping into her room unannounced, bringing his papers with him.]

I'm going to sit with you, awhile.

[ Sophie is usually a very calm rabbit, more than most, when rabbits are easily frightened. Alice was giving her a piece of paper to chew on when Lancelot does come in. The rabbit stands up on her back legs and decides to sprint right out of the room, followed by an "uh oh" by Alice's imp friend. Being that the imp is fond of Alice, she trails after the rabbit, just as Alice starts to move. ]

Lancelot-!

[ She just now remembers that Sophie is still frightened of him, unfortunately. She can't scold him for that, Sophie does the same whenever Vanessa is around. Alice does what she can to not show too much exasperation, purely for the fact she struggles even more now with rebuking him. Alice is a shade of crimson as she pinches the bridge of her nose. ]

You should ask first! And even knock!

[ She's fully clothed, she's sitting there conveniently underneath her family's portrait. Alice settles herself, pressing her sketchbook over part of her face. She hasn't shooed him out, not yet. ]

What are you doing?

[Oh. She's wearing clothes. Hm.

Lancelot's hint of a smile seemed to vanish. His eyes drew to Sophie, but he said nothing in particular, instead remaining a bit in the hallway after suddenly bursting in.]

I was reading, but decided my own company wasn't suitable enough.

[ Alice's irritation slowly fades away. She knows there's not much she can do about Sophie and at least the imp follows after her. She'll come back once Lancelot is gone and Sophie is comfortable enough to pester Waver and the others.

At least for him, she doesn't have the heart to shoo him away. ]

Very well.

[ If anything, she's more self-conscious about the disarray of her room. There's drawings and crafts all over and Alice locking herself in her most of the time has turned into her trying to find ways to create a distraction. ]

Well, don't stand there like a lump. [ See? She's considerate enough to move aside. It's not as if she really has been sleeping much on the bed, anyway. ]

I wasn't aware lumps stood so tall.

[It was almost a joke. It barely counted.

Lancelot made himself at home, sitting down next to Alice where she was. Curiously enough, he noted the state of the room.]

Have you been sleeping?

[ It counts to her, since she lets out a soft, amused huff. There's progress here; months ago, she would have gotten up and moved to the other side of the room. She barely moves, running her hands through the pages of her sketchbook. Having her room like this is a little embarrassing. With him, she feels more willing to tell him she hasn't been sleeping well. ]

Somewhat, though not that well.

Hm. [Lancelot didn't have much when it came to advice on that front. Given he exhausted himself daily as a young man, sleep came easily for him. He was too tired to be kept awake by his own thoughts. Killers tended to sleep easily on that front.]

Would it be easier if I slept with you?

[He was reaching.]

...

[ Alice does a double take. Had he just...? Oh, no. Alice is really now hiding behind her sketchbook because it will take a minute for her to reply to that. She's a little stunned that he asks this. ]

But you don't sleep.

[ She was sure that he's said he doesn't sleep, or unless she's mistaken. ]

And I've stopped sleeping in this bed days go. Honestly, that's-

[ Just a bit indecent for her right now. ]

I don't think that will help.

I don't need to, but I could possibly force myself to--

Though-- [He had to think on that.]

Hmmm. Is it really so odd to sleep beneath the bed? It seemed as if it were a bit warmer with things so compacted.

[That was to say that he both knew and didn't fully understand the reason why she was doing that. If anything, he assumed she was simply exhausted for other reasons aside from sleep.]

[ Alice sighs at this, lowering her sketchbook down, deciding that her mind is too frazzled to even bother with drawing right now. If only Sophie hadn't scampered out, but there's little she'll do to press Lancelot out. With some reluctance, Alice rests her head on his arm. ]

You don't have to force yourself to do anything on the account of me.

[ He deserved to have free will and Alice couldn't ask that, not even for something so simple of him to rest. Her feelings on the Master and Servant pact bothered her that much, even now. Quietly, she wonders, what he would really think of why she behaved that way. It was a childish response, she would say, from a deep rooted response. Alice figured her actions to hide from Rutledge staff had eventually became a form of security for her. ]

It is odd.

It was the best place to hide when I was a child, so that I could sleep, so that no one one would harm me. I should grow out of it.

[ But she struggled to do it, because of her lack of sleep. Finally, she musters up the courage to even ask or talk about Rin in front of him, doing what she could to hide the small resentment. ]

Miss Rin offered me potions to help me sleep; I'm nervous to do so. [ Because she knows it won't do much to help her hallucinations. Sleep would be nice, she needed it, but she couldn't shut off her mind from hallucinations. ] There's no harm in it, right? The last person who tried to help me with anything like that, he- well, no never mind. It's not the same.

[Despite Alice's concerns, Lancelot couldn't have thought any less of his own free time and 'time well spent'. As it was, if he could sit motionless for six to eight hours and not move at the cost of Alice feeling better for the night, he imagined it would actually be a wonderful exchange.]

You may think little of it, but a child's fears aren't often invalid, Alice. If you were worried about being harmed...

[Which he felt would bring them down into a line of conversation Alice wouldn't be happy with. For the most part, he decided not to ask out of courtesy.]

Though, if you accept Rin's aid, I'm certain you'll benefit from it. Though she seems a bit immature, her knowledge in those matters is first-class.

[It was like he was reading a cue card.]

Those types of draughts may seem worrisome, but they aren't addictive.

Even so.

[ She is afraid that if she talks about that aspect of her past to anyone here, they'll see her differently, that they'll see her as truly insane. Here, she has freedom and no one treats her like a raving lunatic as they did back at home. She couldn't describe why those odd sleeping positions made her feel better. Alice decides to let it go altogether after gauging his reaction to that admission. ]

I'll accept it, I don't think I have many options; I'm not sleeping. I'm not worried about addictions, however.

[ She decides that she's comfortable where she is and her guard slowly starts to drop. ]

My worries are unfounded; I'm always reluctant to accept that type of help because I don't want anything altering my mind, that's all.

[There was a certain delicacy that was needed for situations like that which Lancelot felt he completely lacked. For the most part, he just thought about keeping as calm as possible and simply giving Alice comfort where he could, but at the same time, it didn't seem fair to just do that and risk letting her fears only increase and deepen.

Having seen her on and off the battlefield doing her best to help others, he knew she deserved better than that. Loving her made him consider breaking out of his own shell and looking for ways to help her.]

I see. Still, I'll spend time with you in the night. If it doesn't help, you can discuss the draught more with Rin and possibly test it out?

[ He may have felt that he lacked delicacy, but it was something she needed, someone to listen to her. And his reaction so far to the small tidbits to her oddities in her behavior and past made her feel more at ease. It was showing in Alice leaning against him more. ]

Fair enough.

[ They deserved an explanation for her weariness towards the potions sometime soon. She glances up at him before closing her eyes. Her sister's key still in her pocket, Alice would always carry it with her, after ripping it from Bumby's hands. She could tell him, she felt secure with him enough to explain why it really bothered her, amongst other things. ]

She's only trying to help, I won't begrudge her that chance.

[ It wasn't fair to continuously have those feelings against Rin, she knew this. ]

[As Lancelot listened to her, he thought to Sophie running out of the room. There were few things in the world that gave Alice comfort and they were all things that he tended to be very poorly associated with. A little sigh left him as he thought about the wish he sent to Morla and Reul. Hopefully, it would be something doable. Terrifying Alice's companions anytime he came remotely close was becoming less and less bearable.

For the moment he simply reached to take Alice's hand in his, looking down at it somberly.]

Well--what would be your ideal way to sleep? That is to say, what do you think would make you feel most comfortable?

[ She has to think about this.

Nightmares and restless nights were a common thing in her sleep, that it had been the norm for her for eleven years. She goes back to her childhood, how she tried to hide herself and hiding herself was the only way she could sleep. There's no orderlies or doctors, just Lancelot here and sometimes her imp. Sophie will be fine; the rabbit will continue wandering the Barrel as she usually does. Alice's peers through her half-lidded eyes, watching him.

After a moment's silence, Alice shifts, she huddles closer to him as she curls herself to accommodate her position. She hadn't realized how tired she was until now. It's a switch -- it was not even fifteen minutes ago and Alice was about ready to chase him out of her room for not knocking. ]

Stay here, won't you?

[ Alice isn't wearing shoes, she's barefoot so sleeping in her regular dress isn't an issue. She won't dare change around him, not right now. But Alice is sleepy and having rested herself against another warm body is making her even more sleepy. ]

I'll be fine.

I will. [It surprised him, how relaxed she became and how tired she had been. Alice's slow slump was taken in by him and he reached aside, drawing up a fistful of the covers and sheets to pull over her. As big as he was, it wasn't as if he could keep her toes warm so easily.

At that, he began to feel nervous. There was static in the back of his mind. The thought of a crying woman burying herself against his chest, grabbing at him and begging for comfort--

Lancelot went still at the thought. There was no thought of guilt lingering in his mind, but rather--it was the realization that it was something he wanted. Lancelot wasn't built for anything other than damage and destruction. It was a chance to do the opposite. It was giving someone comfort rather than pain.]

As long as you need me.

Thank you.

[ she could tell him how much she was doubting her sanity and stability now, but Alice decides to let that slide. There's security here, she's not that small girl trying so desperately to hide from her tormentors. Jack is right, she's growing up and she's an adult. After a moment's pause, Alice does nothing to push him away. She could, she chooses not to, because she has something that she hasn't had in years -- security.

Safe. She feels safe and when Alice feels feels safe, she drops her guard. Her slender body releases that tension from her shoulders, she nestles herself against him. She doesn't cry, she needs the rest, and so Alice goes back to burying herself next to him for rest, more than just comfort. It's a nice change, she's not on a cold slab or on a cold floor, she's warm and content. Lancelot has earned a lot of her trust, that falling asleep on him isn't an issue.

Five minutes later, give or take, Alice goes still, easily falling asleep. She'll worry about horses and drawings later, when she wakes again. ]

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