second trial. | voice (unlocked)

[greenies]

[ thomas has not been a common presence on the network since his arrival to the drabwurld; gaining the ability to talk telepathically with the people who've been close to him have made it fairly easy for him to communicate without it. but this time, thomas addresses the network at large, although only with a (perhaps semi-familiar) voice.

he sounds uneasy. tired. ]

Do any of you have nightmares? How do you deal with them?

[ it's a stab at anonymity, mostly because he doesn't want to show his face, but the storms currently raging over head have not made his life any easier. thomas sleeps fitfully, twenty minutes at a time, wakes up screaming. no one's going to see his face as an effect of that. eventually, he tacks on a soft--]

Thanks. [ --and the line goes dead. ]

Comments

video | private

[quest]

[ if there's one thing that Percy has become intimately knowledgeable about, it's nightmares. his trip through tartarus left some lasting damage, though it isn't something that is readily seen on his person. even then, he was already getting acquainted with the nightmare business just by being a demigod.

sleeping wasn't exactly kind to them. ]

Every night, more or less. [ he shrugs, once. he's sort of lost track of when they do and don't happen. still, there's concern knit across his face, because people don't ask these questions unless they (or someone close to them) is suffering through them. ] I dunno. I used to get up and take a walk around the castle. While I'm out traveling with friends, I'd take over watch or keep the person up company? Guess that's not really dealing with them, though.

[ at least- that's how it used to be. ]

Someone really special to me is here now. Sleeping with her there makes it easier, y'know? I mean, I still get them, but they're not as bad. So... maybe try staying with someone that you trust a lot? I guess that's what helps me, is her.

video | private

[greenies]

[ percy is familiar, and thomas turns on the video to meet him with a tired half smile. he looks like a wreck, and if one were to look closely out of the camera, it appears he's keeping his hands busy by idly stroking through the fur of a fairly large fox, curled up next to him. he knows minho can understand him perfectly, but he was pretty sure he was dozing when he made the post so...hopefully he can keep this quiet.

his words are familiar, and thomas nods his head, both in solidarity and understanding. ] ...yeah. I've been going on runs at night, but when I get back, they still don't stop. I just sort of gave up on sleeping. [ there's a faint humor when he adds-- ] It's so much easier to ignore it than to deal with it, right? Like...maybe if I keep moving, I won't have to sleep at all.

[ he offers a small smile. trust is a rare commodity these days, and he looks down to his best friend (even if he's currently small, furry and sulky) and shakes his head. percy's lucky to have that someone, and he's really happy for him, to hear so. ] One of your friends from home came?

voice. »

[ex_bronze361]

[ there's two ways she can go about answering in -- the logic answer, and the cheese answer. all around, logic is the more comfortable route to talk about, but she can't deny the merit in what good medicine sappy goodness can be. ]

Good exercise and keeping healthy should help. Sometimes meditation helps some people? But I've honestly never tried it. [ peaceful things never say peaceful for too long, anyway. ]

I think it's more important for you to find someone close to you who... grounds you. And makes you forget all about nightmares. [ she scoffs a little. ] I know -- cheesed out answer, just call me Hallmark. But if you're looking for a remedy to bad dreams, that's the best way. Find someone you love and keep them close to home.

voice. »

[greenies]

Are you Percy's friend from home? [ it seems like a weird segue, but there's just a faint hint of fondness in his voice when he says it. ] He said the same thing.

[ attached at the hip, much. thomas's heart hurts for how he and teresa must have been once, the things he doesn't remember--that he chose not to remember. sleeping beside her felt safe--thomas felt better when she was in the room, let alone sleeping by him. but after what had happened...it was hard to rebuild those bridges, a fight that piled up brick by brick in hopes of maybe returning them to some semblance of their relationship before.

he's quiet for a little bit, before he ventures-- ] Meditation?

audio

[lusiphur]

[Something about the voice makes the speaker seem too young to recommend getting really really drunk as a solution (but it was hard to tell with humans sometimes). But Lusiphur has his fair share of nightmares, and he subscribes to the relative anonymity of "audio only"]

The only thing that helps mitigate my nightmares is to wear myself out when I'm awake until I'm too tired to dream at all. Fighting, working, running, doing crazy stuff with a friend. Whatever it takes. Distraction until you're too exhausted to worry about whether or not you're gonna have 'em that night.

audio

[greenies]

Yeah. [ he agrees with that instantly, and though the person on the other end can't see, thomas runs his hand through his hair, a little frustrated. ] I've been going out for runs every night to try and help, and it works for a little while, but...they always come back. It feels like I'm running from my problems, and that makes it even worse, you know? The more I try to outrun them, the worse I feel for leaving them behind.

voice

[depicted]

[Dorian answers the question candidly, perhaps indelicate to the precise severity of Thomas's bad dreams.] A doctor might suggest laudanum, but I don't think they have it here. And it's never really pleasant to get medical intervention of that kind anyway. [Dorian's voice does darken there. They might mark you mad.]

[But his tone raises up, and he adds,] I like to read a book before I sleep, or after I wake up from a nightmare. It tricks my mind into thinking something else so that it can't focus on what I was dreaming. The cooks might bring you something sweet to eat to soothe you if that will help.

voice

[greenies]

Laudanum. [ he repeats that, nose wrinkling on his end--thomas isn't sure exactly what that is, and his useless memories dredge up no concept of it, so he'll have to ask further. at this point, thomas is desperate, because he sees death every time he closes his eyes. ] Is that a Drabwurld thing?

[ he sighs, rubbing his temples. ] Reading a book might work. Everyone's been saying distraction's a good idea, but I can't find anything distracting enough. [ a little stressed, but at least nice, he adds-- ] Thank you. Do you have them a lot, too?

voice

[plantboy]

[He doesn't have to respond, he realizes. Briar could easily go about his evening without responding and feel no pain about it. But he, too, knows some things about nightmares. Maybe he couldn't help his much anymore, but that didn't mean anything for the others around.]

Plenty of people will say there's ways to fix it, but there's not. I have a mate who's had nightmares for years now. Real bad ones. I don't know what she does about 'em, but sticking around calmed her down.

I could help you with sleeping drops and tea for it, but there's no guarantees it'll last forever if they're bad off.

voice

[greenies]

[ thomas nods his head, even if he can't be seen--he doesn't really think there is any way to stop them. short of, what, chuck coming back to life again? seeing his mother? of alby, not being torn away by the grievers? newt, cured of the flare and smiling at him? that might be worse, he thinks, because he could remember every failing he caused them, everything that made them land in the position that they landed in, because of him.

dead, because of him.

thomas stays quiet almost long enough that it sounds like he won't answer back, but, there's some shifting as it sounds like he's moving--interest, maybe. ] Sleeping drops and tea, huh? That might work.

audio;

[chromosomes]

I've learned to live with them. But a friend of mine makes potions for Dreamless Sleep.

audio;

[greenies]

[ !!!! ] Who can I talk to about that?

voice. private.

[endurecer]

Control them.

[ Reyna knows nightmares and knows that she hates them with a fair amount of vitriol. She's a demigod and of course there's always going to be someone finding their way into her dreams. Nightmares that she can't control— nightmares that end in her waking up in a cold sweat aren't things she likes to deal with.

Her answer stops there for a moment, like she's carefully weighing how to word the rest of her thoughts. When she does start speaking, it's with a solemn tone. ]

Take control of them. Don't just let your mind wander until it stumbles right into them. You have to start dreams where you feel most comfortable and if the nightmares come anyway— they're not real. They can't be where you feel the most comfortable.

voice. private.

[greenies]

[ thomas has plenty sassy to say but he tamps down on it. clearly this girl has her own issues with nightmares--it seems to be a common facet of the drabwurld and the shardbearers that are beginning to inhabit it. it's not so easy that he can just control them, considering, and he respects that this girl's able to, somehow.

but he can't stop it because they're not nightmares. they're memories. nightmares are an easier thing to call it. an easier thing to admit to than being kept sleepless at night by the people you've gotten killed, the promises you've broken, the things you've seen. the silver monsters nearly ripping winston's face off. the red stain that remained on the maze floor where alby had been standing.

chuck, a knife buried in his chest.

steadily, thomas asks: ] How do you cope with them if they are real? If they were real. I don't dream about giant spiders or falling off of buildings or anything like that.

video;

[pontificus]

[Nightmares are something she understands, though she hasn't had too many fitful nights of sleep here-- away from the Sforzas or any Italian family. But she can understand wanting to find a way through them. She looks upon with kind eyes and uses a soft voice.]

There is usually a root fear, something that drives them. One can confront it or find a decent apothecary.

video;

[greenies]

That sounds about right. [ what's thomas afraid of? it's an easy answer--getting more people hurt, getting more people killed. he's afraid of newt returning to life here in the drabwurld and screaming at him i hate you, i've always hated you, he's afraid of losing teresa again. afraid of failing.

he sighs. ] I think the confrontation of it is the scariest part.

voice

[huntedby]

First I try to determine if they are even nightmares.

voice

[greenies]

[ so many questions ] Determine how? And--to differentiate them from something else? Memories, or real life, or regular dreams?

voice;

[bolincredible]

Uhhh. Well, I haven't really run into ways to stop them or anything yet, since I guess that's kind of a huge... mind deal. Sometimes you just get stuck on something like that. [ And in a place like this, where sometimes dogs made of the essence of fear and stuff just happen to run around, Bolin figures it's kind of understandable that a lot of people could get stuck on things. He knows he does a lot more than he used to. ]

But if I'm having trouble with them, it helps me a lot not to try going back to sleep right away. Which isn't usually too hard, since. You know, nightmares and all. Maybe walk around, get some food, pet a dog or something? Think about other stuff.

voice;

[greenies]

Pet a dog, huh. [ thomas's voice takes on a bit of amusement--there's a loud, unhappy yip that sounds way too close to the locket and thomas laughs, then chokes out an ow, min! before returning to the call. ] I guess I'd actually have to find one that'd stay an animal, then.

Thanks, man. [ he says so kindly, still shaking out his fingers on his end of the call. thomas is willing to try anything at this point. he feels like he's going to be delirious if he doesn't sleep much longer. ] I keep thinking if I just don't sleep at all, that'll take care of it. Better things to do, I guess.

text;

[aliased]

you can't deal with dreams. they just happen.

text;

[greenies]

I can't stay awake forever, either.

voice; private

[cerebral]

I did. And - [Charles sucks in a breath between his teeth.] Not very well.

[The circumstances are likely wildly different and for a second he frowns, trying to separate his sleeping problems via telepathy from all the other problems that culminated into the mess of the past few years.]

Whatever happens, no matter how tempting it is, I would advise anyone not to become dependent on a substance. If nothing else works, then of course try it, but be cautious. If you're able, I'd recommend saving off any exercise before bed. It releases natural chemicals in the brain that reduce stress.

voice; private

[greenies]

I've seen what happens to cranks hopped up on Bliss. [ not that that sentence makes literally any sense to anyone outside of his world, but, he says it seriously enough that the inflection of drug addicts is clear in his tone. ] I've had enough people messing around in my head, anyway, I don't need drugs on top of that.

Yeah....yeah, that's a good idea. I usually go for runs in the morning, maybe I can go at night. [ it's quieter anyway. run away from your problems, right? thomas feels like maybe he's starting to get good at that, and that's the last thing he wants to be. ] I appreciate it.

[ after a moment, he adds-- ] Has it helped you?

voice;

[cinnamoned]

[Nightmares. Of course Snow has them. Everyone does, to some extent. Just not likely quite so much as her, having been under the influence of the Sleeping Curse.]

When I had them, my husband would light a candle. Stay by me until I calmed down. I'm not sure if you have anyone here that could stay with you during the nights or if that might help, but...it is some suggestion. I'm not sure there's any way of entirely never having any nightmares, but certain things might help lessen the frequency at least. Tiring yourself out a lot. Distracting yourself from worries. Certain medicines or herbs help you sleep.

voice;

[greenies]

[ a lot of these suggestions are similar--it makes thomas wonder how bad the other shardbearers here in the drabwurld have it, too. how many of them are just coping, trying to make it from day to day in their lives without remembering the bad things they've done, being reminded of them in dreams? he's just a kid, still, and it's hard to remember that sometimes. thomas feels like he's an old man, weathered and battle-scarred and tired down to his bones.

quietly, with a little humor, thomas admits: ] I don't really have anyone like that, but I could probably try a candle. [ knowing his luck, he'd probably light his room on fire overnight, though. ] Thank you--I'm pretty desperate for anything, right now.

permavoice;

[steelminded]

[ ...A hard question to answer, but nevertheless it's a question that signified the asker has problems of their own.

Therefore, it's only normal for him to respond, and so he tries to call upon the nightmares he had and how he dealt with them, even if that meant recalling that inferno which engulfed his life. ]

Aah, yeah, I do. Mostly I try to bury it with my everyday activities. [ When one had to fight for their life, such an occurrence (nightmares) can be even a blessing because it reminded him that he's still alive in the worst possible way. ]

[greenies]

Me too. [ running, mapping...whatever thomas can do to try and give the drabwurld a sense of some kind of normalcy. he throws himself into events with aplomb and gusto, but politics and medieval battles are not for him. all he's ever done is run for his life, and now he doesn't know how to stop. ]

Things here are just...different than home. It's quieter, so it's harder for me to stay distracted. [ it was newt who told him that "if you get lazy, you get sad" and he wasn't kidding. thomas missed newt more than he missed anyone from the glade (maybe chuck), desired his presence at the same time it haunted his nightmares. ]

{Video}

[rangerandking]

There is a tea that might soothe your mind. {He can brew it without much thought now. Nightmares are...common place.}

{Video}

[greenies]

What's in it? [ thomas returns the video; a boy with brown hair and bags under his eyes appears, looking exhausted. at this point, thomas'll try anything. ]

voice » private.

[mixcds]

[There's a slight hesitation on his part. Kieren's seen Thomas' nightmares, but Thomas hasn't seen Kieren's. That's probably for the best. ]

Every night since I started my treatment. They get more vivid as time goes on.

[He could tell Thomas now, what perfume Lisa was wearing when he attacked her. He could tell him about how Amy sounded as she moaned and wheezed her way through mouthfuls. He's memorized Jem's look of disbelief and tried to rewrite it with one of her smiles. ]

Talking about them helped. Helps. I -- I'd listen, if you wanted to do that.

voice » private.

[greenies]

[ kieren's voice is familiar and thomas relaxes a little upon hearing it. he's finding kieren's company to be comforting, a friend despite all odds, despite how thomas could barely face him for a long time. kieren isn't newt, and he knows that now, knows that he's a good person, one who had something like newt and lived with it and dealt with it with aplomb. thomas could stand to learn a few things on coping from him, probably.

his offer is kind, and thomas shifts a little on his end. it's not at all unwanted, either. ] ...it's pretty grizzly stuff. [ but maybe it'd be nice to talk about it. to get it off his chest. it had helped him and minho, right?

he smiles a little, faintly. ] We could trade off. I'm not much of a therapist, but...

Voice;

[parallels]

More than I'd like to admit to a network full of people.

[But here she is. She understands it all to well. While her nightmares are always shifting based on what ever horrible thing she'd experienced, they were always there. Sometimes they were better, fading to a few times a month. Sometimes she couldn't sleep at night because she had so many. Recently, she'd been experiencing something in-between.

If she had something to offer, she knows she feels obligated to give it.]

I used walk about at night. Listen to music. Writing sometimes helps. Getting it out so you don't sit around and mull over it in your mind.

Voice;

[greenies]

[ thomas chuckles, his tone a little rueful. ] That's why I did the voice call, but I guess it hasn't helped me not get recognized.

[ either way, it's good to hear the experiences of others--to know he's not really alone in this. a lot of the shard holders seem to be sort of fragmented, broken in ways that thomas knows he is. and now that there are things to do here that aren't--death, that aren't thomas running for his life, it becomes a lot easier to remember all those things he wishes he could forget. ]

I haven't tried writing yet, but I'll do that next. It's just becoming easier not to sleep at all.

voice; private

[munies]

[ of course Teresa has nightmares too, but she knows it's different for Thomas. having her memories back isn't always amazing, but at least it gives her subconscious more to pick and choose from. all he as is the Glade, the Scorch, the tiny bits of the awful world they got to see, and here. it's not exactly a good-dream gold mine ]

I really wish I had an answer for you, Tom.

voice; private

[greenies]

[ thomas is quiet for a long time before he answers teresa--he squeezes the locket a little, pulls it closer like that could help comfort her. it hurts to know she's going through the same thing he is, that they all are. but, if thomas could have nightmares the rest of his life to give teresa dreamless sleep, he'd do it for her. ]

If I find one, I'll share it with you.

action.

[arms]

[ Thomas knows he's awake, now. He might not know that he's been awake this entire time, but he at least knows that he is now. Minho doesn't move from his lap though, body cradled in the cross of his legs, tail flopped over his thigh with a quiet kind of exhaustion. The storms haven't been constant, but there has been thunder rolling in the distance beyond, so he's just... trying to deal with it as best he can. Some of the people have helped. Some of them, he's probably going to contact later on himself to talk to. Some, still, have managed to irritate him with their answers. But it's a look into the people that inhabit the Drabwurld, now. On both sides. Eventually shifting, he noses his muzzle underneath Thomas' long fingers. ] You should tell me, the next time you go running.

action.

[greenies]

[ thomas has been idly stroking minho's fur the entire time he's been answering these questions--the method in itself is very soothing, and really, for as much as he misses his flesh and blood best friend, it's been kind of nice to have him as small and cute as he is.

so when he moves and speaks up, it surprises thomas a little. he's obviously a bit sluggish, but he glances down at the big, furry fox currently sprawled across his lap like he owns it and scratches him behind the ears. ] In the middle of the night? I'm not going to wake you up.

Voice;

[vaccinations]

More than I'd like to admit. I mean. I know they can't hurt me. But still. Waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night? Really fucking sucks.

[The shrug she gives is audible and then she sighs. She hates nightmares. Honestly, she'd take the infected and bandits over them. At least those things have a right to make her heart race and her stomach churn. It takes her a few minutes before she replies.]

I used to just sit there and tell myself that they weren't real until I started believing it. At least for that night.

Voice;

[greenies]

[ there's that word again. it's still absurdly jarring to hear people say that instead of shucking. logically, thomas knows what it is, but still.

he listens to the girl, cradling the locket carefully. ] Yeah. Yeah, it really does. My problem is most of it was real. Bad memories, you know? Things I can't think about during the day.