Voice | Unseelie Lockets | All H. Compasses

[raavashing]

[Late in the evening of the 14th day of May, Wan's voice comes over the networks very briefly. It is haggard, quiet, almost dead sounding. It sat at the edge of being numb to everything.]

I'm sorry.

Comments

video;

[desperate_times]

Hey, you did your best, mate.

Perma-voice

[raavashing]

It wasn't enough.

[desperate_times]

[He may not want to show his face, and she doesn't blame him. He must look as devastated as he sounds, but at least he can see her face.]

Sometimes it isn't. I've had plenty of things blow up in my face, no matter how hard I fought for them. It's not always going to be a win, but you tried. The result would've been the same if you hadn't.

voice; compass locked

[notyetlegend]

[Once she's had time to deal with and process the loss of her fire magic, Merida checks her compass. If she was still sixteen, if she hadn't grown up some she would be blaming him, but instead she just shakes her head.]

It's not your fault.

voice; compass locked

[raavashing]

[Except it was. He'd taken the responsibility of saving them onto his shoulders and he'd failed. He didn't blame any of the others who came to help for that failure. It was his. He should have had them stop after they'd gotten the mountain another week's worth of breathing room. Trained more. Then try again. But he'd been rushing. He'd been overconfident that they could keep going.]

Yes. It is.

[A pause.]

You don't have to try to comfort me, Merida. I know what I did wrong.

text; private.

[survivra]

You did more than anyone. More than anyone else in this world even tried.

text; private.

[raavashing]

I still failed.

I shouldn't have pushed it so fast. I should have stopped when we'd given ourselves a few more days of breathing room. Given them time to learn more.

[digophelia]

Are any of you hurt?

voice;

[raavashing]

[The Pyrii died.]

A few cuts and bruises. Nothing serious. At least among those still here. A lot have already left. I wasn't awake.

( locket, audio. )

[atoned]

[ zuko isn't really sure what to say. he's met failure head on for the duration of his life. he's had a man take his bending away and he had managed to get it back. his sister had beat him down relentlessly and he still remains standing. a part of him is livid he feels different, slightly unbalanced by the pyrii having leapt to their fate without even fighting. ]

[ that's what he's angered about. they hadn't even tried. ]

[ despite his own irritation, zuko's voice is cool, if slightly tired. ]

There's no point in fighting for someone who isn't willing to fight for themselves.

( locket, audio. )

[raavashing]

That's not true.

[For all that he felt the blame for failure was squarely on his shoulders. He didn't believe that trying had been pointless. That working to save them, that fighting for their lives, had been pointless.]

[ video || compass ]

[falconkick]

[ when sam speaks, it's quietly and gently, not the voice of a therapist but of one in mourning. silence out of respect for the dead; even if the pyrii's actions and the void itself make no sense to sam, death does. ]

The dead can't forgive you, Wan.

[ wan doesn't need him to say 'it's okay', because it isn't. it won't be for a long time, if ever - but they have to at least try to make a start. ]

And none of us blame you. If you're looking for forgiveness, sorry to say, man. You're gonna have to find it for yourself.

[ sam should write fortune cookies, real talk. ]

[ voice || compass ]

[raavashing]

Not all apologies are requests for forgiveness. I'm not going to ask that of anyone here. The ones I failed the most have already started walking to their end.

[Wan didn't believe he had a right to be forgiven by anyone else. And he knew the pyrii never would. Not in this life. And not in the next because another wasn't going to come for them.]

I'm apologizing because I'm sorry for my failure. Nothing more.

voice; compass

[cinnamoned]

We all are. We tried, Wan. Sometimes, that's all you can do. But I won't have you blaming just yourself. We all had a part in it, that came to help you with this. If you're going to blame yourself, blame us too.

[Because they all had to struggle. Had to watch helplessly as it unfolded before them. That guilt and failure washing over.]

voice; compass

[raavashing]

No. You aren't to blame. You did as I asked and I expected nothing more than that. You didn't have the power and experience to do more. I should have stopped us after the first day so everyone could have more of a break and more time to practice before the void was on us again. I didn't. The responsibility is mine.

video/compass

[psalmed]

...monsieur?

[She recognizes the voice. Recognizes teasing him, recognizes it from their discussions in the past year. But he sounds so very sad and it doesn't take long to realize why.]

You should not feel as though you have failed. Not alone.

voice/compass

[raavashing]

[Wan heaved a sigh. He'd had this conversation already. With everyone that had answered. He wasn't looking for reassurance or sympathy... well, maybe sympathy. He'd like that if it didn't come with the insistence that he didn't have a hand in what had happened.]

I did fail. Because of what I did, Mount Verla is gone. The responsibility is mine.

voice; obsidian

[arla]

[ Oh, Wan. ]

You did everything you could. We should be the ones apologizing, those who did not go to try to help.

[ She would not have been able to learn the magic needed. But still, it hurts to know she did not try. ]

Are you and the others all right?

voice; obsidian

[raavashing]

[Her words hit a raw wound within him. He knew that if they had had just a few more people they might have been able to do it. Perhaps five, maybe six. Maybe ten more. He didn't know for sure how many. Only that they didn't have enough to do it as fast as he'd tried to.]

I should have tried to get more to come. I didn't think it through. The fault is mine.

[And he would hold to that. He was to blame for a lot of things already. Another burden would not break him.]

Some cuts and bruises, but nothing serious. At least not among those who were here when I woke up. I've been out most of the day. Since this morning.

[When the mountain collapsed.]

VOICE.

[selfimage]

Chin up, there will be more to save by the time this is over.

[ he says, taking a breath. he has other places go, more gambles, but he's not about to give up. and even if he might sound a little casual. he figured that Wan didn't exactly need words of comfort as much as he might need purpose. ]

VOICE.

[raavashing]

That's not a very cheerful thought.

[But it was a better answer than most he'd gotten so far. It wasn't forgiving or really trying to comfort. And he needed that more than reassurances that he wasn't at fault.]

Are you okay?

[video]

[semiurge]

Hey, we did the best we could. I'm sorry too, but at least we tried.

[voice]

[raavashing]

I know you did.

[Wan was pretty sure he didn't do the best he could. Hindsight was far clearer than foresight and he had already figured out where he had screwed up in the rush to move the mountain.]

And I'm glad you came to help. Thank you for trying.

Video

[notavirtue]

What happened?

[He can guess the outcome, but he's more interested in details, regardless of whether or not Wan is willing to give them. It wouldn't be the first time someone hung up on him.]

Voice

[raavashing]

[Wan's grief over the Pyrii's loss was not enough to prevent him from speaking on the matter. He was able to face it, it was just painful. And his own role in it made it worse for him. But it didn't mean he'd clam up entirely.]

We moved the mountain. But we weren't able to move it far enough and keep it intact long enough to save the Pyrii. It-

[There was sharp intake of breath before he could continue.]

It broke apart on us. This morning. I didn't see it fall. I tried to hold it together but I blacked out. I was told that as soon as I did, or near enough not to matter, it came down.