voice; unseelie locked

[needmetoo]

[Isn't it funny how she and Lightning had been talking about different options and the war not that long ago? Isn't it funny how Xion had expressed the opinion that the whole thing was wrong, that sacrificing Seelie worlds seemed counterproductive considering they were trying to save them all? And now here the are, faced with that war, and how it was coming, and soon.

She'd been told more than once before now to think carefully, and if she's going to do that, if she isn't going to make the decision now... She needs to figure out what to do with herself in the meantime.]

We really... don't have a choice about all this, do we?

[It's an abrupt sort of question, probably, and one she wonders if she should really be asking aloud at all. But it starts out her post with a tone of reluctance, one that never really fades away.]

Nevermind. Sorry.

[Deep breath. It's been a day or so since the call went out, with Xion already conveniently back at Caer Scima. And she's been observant in those 24 hours, for all that it's helped.]

Almost everybody I've seen already seems to know what to do. Back home, I did missions and things all the time, but I only really had one job. And it's the one job that I can't do now.

[Can't because she refuses to. Sure she may have occasionally done other things, like recon, but her primary mission was always collecting hearts and fighting heartless, especially while Roxas was asleep. And now that she knows, fighting people, destroying their worlds isn't something she really wants any part of. Especially now that she has friends on the other side, ones that've helped her like Riku and Terra and Dick and Merida and Korra. But it's something she knows the monarchs would say she definitely should do. The thought is sickening.]

I don't really know what I'm doing here. Not... right now at least.

[Both in general and for this war effort. She hesitates for a long time then adds one last question.]

What can we do? For now, at least.

[She isn't so sure she wants to know what people think about her opinions on the whole war.]

Comments

video; private.

[survivra]

You've a choice about what you wish to do here and now. Or you should.

[ sucking in a breath between her teeth—and when she lets it out, Katsa looks frustrated. ]

But as for whether or not you consent to die here when that Void comes, that's what people don't wish for us to have a choice about.

Xion. What do you want to do?

video; private.

[needmetoo]

[Slowly, carefully, Xion turns on her video too. She shakes her head, eyes closed then opens them.]

I'm not sure. I don't want our worlds to be destroyed. I don't... want to die. But I don't think I want to fight. Not the way they want us to.

["They" being the monarchs.]

video; private.

[survivra]

[ This is truly difficult, and Katsa takes her time to respond. The bite on her lower lip should be an indication that she doesn't know the answer any better than Xion does. ]

Well, I can't tell you what you wish to do; you won't know the answer to that until you know it. But if you don't want to die, then you can't sit back and wait for death to come to you, either. Even a girl such as you has something she can do.

If you don't wish to fight, would you help the others who do? Or do you have other skills that might be useful?

video; private.

[needmetoo]

[It should be, but Xion's still an utter novice at reading body language and subtle cues and the like. She doesn't quite pick up on it, though Katsa's expression does make her feel a bit nervous.]

Well... sometimes back home, I would do recon on new worlds. I only did it a couple times though. [And one of those times had been training] I could do some magic too, but most of it's gone.

[She wishes though, that there was some way to really find out what she wanted to do more easily. Being in charge of herself and what she does and what cause she fights for is hard.]

audio;

[uncertaindestiny]

We can fight.

[To Azula's mind, that's the only proper answer.]

If you can't fight, then either learn or figure out another way to contribute.

Or sit idly by. But don't expect that choice to give anyone cause to protect you.

audio;

[needmetoo]

I do know how to fight.

[It's said matter-of-factly. Doing missions, destroying Heartless back home was one of the most solid, reliable things that she could count on.]

But fighting people here means you could destroy their worlds. And I don't want to do that. That's why I guess I'm trying to find something else.

[For now at least. Given what Hiro said about consequences, she's not sure how long her pacifistic stance is going to be allowed to stand.]

And I never expected anybody to protect me, no matter what I did.

audio;

[uncertaindestiny]

Ah, so you've decided to take up whining instead of fighting.

I'm sure that will be of great use to the monarchs.

[She's so sweet, isn't she? Absolutely a people-person of the highest sensitivity.]

audio;

[needmetoo]

[That definitely stings. Azula can't see it but her head ducks down, her shoulders ride up. If they were in the same room, she wouldn't be able to make eye contact.]

I don't- [She cuts herself off. Something about this Azula really reminds her of Saix. A lot.] I wanted to know what other things there are. That's why I said anything at all. [Mostly.] I don't... even know what I can do.

[She really, honestly doesn't. She's never been in a war before. Or any situation with a vaguely defined but ultimately clear goal, with no personal directions.]

[pixiedusting]

You always have a choice.

( there's not much of one here, admittedly, but Tink has learned that there is always a choice. pretending there isn't one tends to be more of an excuse to do the wrong thing, she finds. )

What is it you want to do? The monarchs request we work to prepare for the war, but that doesn't have to mean fighting if you don't want it to.

[needmetoo]

[Truthfully what Xion had meant was less no choice and more no real choice with consequences she would be able to live with (in some cases, quite literally). At least in the broader sense. In the more immediate...]

I guess that's what I meant. We have to prepare for the war, somehow. But I don't want to fight.

[That she's very certain about. She doesn't quite elaborate as much as she did with Katsa, not yet at least.]

I just don't know what else I can really do. I don't know how to do a lot of things. Most of my magic's gone, and... I guess I can sew, though I'm not very good yet.

[pixiedusting]

You shouldn't have to fight.

( Tink is just about as close as a pacifist as one can get. she is a fairy, she is not meant to fight a war. she is supposed to help people, protect people, she will not do them harm unless they intend to harm her or someone she cares about. even then, the fairy would avoid killing if she at all could. )

Sewing is a start. You could learn protective magic, I'm told that anyone can learn the magic of this world. Or how to help heal those who have been harmed by the fighting. You could try to help the people of this land, who I think suffer the most from all this.

It might take a few tries to learn what you really like, but as long as you have the desire to make a difference I think you could find something.

[needmetoo]

[That's... a lot of suggestions. But suggestions are what she had been looking for, and so she considers the different options presented.]

I still have my healing magic, but... it's only really good for small things.

[Bumps and bruises and scrapes and less serious claws and bites. At it's best (at least so far as she knows), it might be able to speed the healing of broken bones, though it'd be unwise to do so if the break isn't clean or hasn't been set.]

But I guess... that'd be a good place to start?

voice;

[zireael]

If you don't want to fight, then don't. No one can make you. You have that choice.

[ Bold words for someone who has done little else but scrape, fight, and kill for most of her life. She isn't afraid of these monarchs, no more than she is afraid of her own pursuers. The person she hears sounds young, like a child... Would these royals conscript children into their war? ]

What would you like to do?

voice;

[needmetoo]

[She hopes that everyone's right, that she really doesn't have to fight. And at the same time, a niggling part of her wonders, what difference does it make, knowing that there are others who are going to go out and fight instead? Who could hurt people she cares about, or get hurt themselves. And with their worlds tied to their lives... this whole war seemed so stupid.

That doesn't really help now, though, does it? And the problem is still the same.]

I'm not really sure. [Um...] What kinds of things can we do? I've only ever really... [Ummmm...] hunted monsters, and done recon once or twice, before.

voice;

[zireael]

Scouting would be helpful, I suspect. But you might get too close to the front lines where you would need to fight.

[ And Ciri doesn't want that for her, not if she doesn't want to fight. She rubs at her forehead behind the locket, trying to find answers. She hasn't the faintest what to do either. ]

You could...pledge yourself to a cause you trust and believe it. Protect people. Help some of the natives get out of harm's way. This war isn't theirs and they shouldn't have to die because the courts go to war.

voice;

[needmetoo]

I can fight if I really need to.

[It might seem like a bit of a departure from what she was saying a moment ago, but another conversation has her a bit more on edge than she was a few moments ago.

As for causes...]

I'd like to do that, I think... but I feel like I don't... [She struggles for a moment with the right words] really know things, well enough to know the right thing to believe in.

[She bows her head]

I'm sorry... that probably doesn't help.

voice

[vaccinations]

Shit.

It's hard. You gotta just go and find something. We all had shit to do back home and we have to work here to make sure that we get to go back home and finish it up. You gotta fight for that chance. Just figure out what you're good at and go from there.

voice

[needmetoo]

[The reply for this one is a little delayed, as Azula has already made her point and it takes a while before Xion is ready to really look at the post again.]

I guess... I've never really needed to figure it out before. And it feels like I need to know now.

[The words come out a little more hurried and on edge than they might've been, but after Azula's accusations it's hard to continue on the note she'd started this post on.]

I'm sorry. I'm really trying. [Things she can do.] I have a little magic from home. I did recon sometimes too. Elizabeth's been teaching me to sew, and Lightning was teaching me how to use a shield. And... [She swallows.] I can fight, if I really need to.

voice;

[zerotohiro]

[He can see the other conversations. He's listening to them for a moment before he finally chimes in.]

Not really. [Sorry, Xion.] We have a choice up to a point, but you just have to make sure it's a choice you're willing to stand by. But you have to make some kind of choice before it's made for you...and I'd rather go down with something I chose myself than something that forced my hand.

[Well. That was kind of stupid.] But we can do a lot. What have you done for the last couple of months?

voice;

[needmetoo]

[Depending on how long after the tail end of Azula's thread Hiro talks to her, he either waits a couple hours or a few minutes. Either way, as with Ellie, Xion has to calm down before she's really able to reply again.

And a part of her is trying not to feel badgered. Make your own decision. Everybody keeps saying that but the advice on how to figure out what decision to make is scant and it doesn't make a lot of sense. Although with Hiro, it is a little easier, since she's talked with him about this already. Particularly on the topic of fully committing to the choices you make. She takes a deep breath and lets it out.

Her voice might be a little flat as she responds, all the same.]

You know some of it. [A lot of it really, though it's also her vague way of alluding to their previous conversation about Riku and the others with Keyblades.] I delivered messages in Leathann. During the truce, I tried to help some of the banshees, but I also went with some people who wanted to go to Quendi to see the Shuck. After that... Clarke asked me for help in figuring out why some people were rioting about the Shuck.

[It seems like a lot more than she'd realized, now that she looks at it. But she still isn't really sure what connected all those things. How they weren't aimless wanderings of someone who didn't really know what to do with themselves.]

voice;

[zerotohiro]

[He's cool with waiting. August seems to be the month of regrouping and waiting, the month of preparations. It's also been taxing for him already due to the things that happened in July and even the things from the last few days. He's just come off of a few back to back missions by the time he sees Xion's post and it was the main reason he replied.

It's true though, isn't it? Xion...what was the point of any one of them telling her what decision to make? Wouldn't that simply breed resentment if she made a choice based on what someone else told her? It had turned into that in his case with a few key choices early on. He's learned his lesson. And anyway...it sucks. The Drabwurld sucks that way of forcing its shardbearers to learn how to make their own choices but he's confident she can figure it out.

But he's not exactly in the mood to be patient with the flat tone, so his matches.]

So you started a couple of different paths. Nothing wrong with that. [Says the boy who's running about four different ones himself...the difference is that all of his paths meet one end goal. He's curious if hers will, too.] Let me ask you this. Of those things, what made you feel like you actually knew what you were doing instead of just sort of falling into what was asked of you?

voice;

[needmetoo]

[Even if he's only matching, the flat tone is still a bit like a kick in the gut. Hiro's been pretty patient with her in the past, and the difference does not go unnoticed.]

I don't... really know.

[She's thinking. But most of them hadn't... quite stuck out in that way to her. Most of the time she never really feels like she knows what she's doing, in the drabwurld. Some of them had felt better than others though. Would that... be good enough?]

It was okay when I was helping people out and delivering messages around Treun. [Less so around Leathann, but there were a lot of reasons for that.] A little while I was helping Clarke. Practicing with Lightning and Yuri.

[... oh. She's reminded of a conversation she had with Lightning not too long ago.]

I want to find him. And... and the others who're lost too. There's gotta be a way, right?

[Compared to when she talked to Lightning about it, she's a lot less sure about it. But Hiro would probably know, right? Though there's still the problem that none of these things really... work for war preparations.]

» video » private.

[skjalf]

Never think you do not have a choice, little one. ( On that score, Elizabeth remains adamant. ) You do.

And if your decision is not to fight, then perhaps you can scout the land, or supply native villagers with weapons or listen for information which might be useful in this effort. All of those things can save lives rather than take them.

The natives of this land largely stand alone. They deserve better than to be caught in a war not their own, I think.

( Her breath catches, and pain reflects vividly upon her face. )

I, too have lost track of someone important to me. Should we scout the border together, and look for them whilst doing so?

» video » private.

[needmetoo]

["All those things can save lives rather than take them."

Those are probably the words that get through to Xion more than any other. Because that is something she can believe in. Or at least, it puts the intent behind the words of many of the others she's already spoken to into words that she can understand better.]

Yeah, they do.

[In some ways Xion thinks that could apply for a lot of them. Many of them don't want this to be their war either, never asked to come. But that's more what she meant by "not any choice."

She's a little bit confused by part of the offer.]

The person I'm missing is gone. I have his shard. And the others... [She thinks of Riku, and Terra.] It's a long story. But I'd like that, I think. To try to help you find your friend.

» video » private.

[skjalf]

( Xion has always struck her as the sort to not want to fight someone else's war. As she, herself does not, as the natives do not wish to be placed in the middle of it and afforded no protection by their own monarchs. It is shameful in her eyes that the royalty here do not do as they are duty-bound to: have a care for the welfare of their people.

So they will, and it seems settled-enough. Elizabeth smiles once with a nods, but the expression fades swiftly. )

I am so very sorry, little one. Let us pray that this friend of yours is back at home with their own people. ( Silence falls for a moment, and then she glances down and away. ) It is not a friend I have lost.

It is difficult to explain, but he is a member of my family; but from the past. After a fashion, he is my uncle. In your time here, have you ever met a tall man who resembles me?

( Sucking in a breath, she forces her smile to make a brave return. ) While we search, I would like to hear your story, about the others you mentioned.