Xion (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
needmetoo) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
eachdraidh2015-08-06 08:11 pm
needmetoo) wrote in eachdraidh2015-08-06 08:11 pm
voice; unseelie locked
[Isn't it funny how she and Lightning had been talking about different options and the war not that long ago? Isn't it funny how Xion had expressed the opinion that the whole thing was wrong, that sacrificing Seelie worlds seemed counterproductive considering they were trying to save them all? And now here the are, faced with that war, and how it was coming, and soon.
She'd been told more than once before now to think carefully, and if she's going to do that, if she isn't going to make the decision now... She needs to figure out what to do with herself in the meantime.]
We really... don't have a choice about all this, do we?
[It's an abrupt sort of question, probably, and one she wonders if she should really be asking aloud at all. But it starts out her post with a tone of reluctance, one that never really fades away.]
Nevermind. Sorry.
[Deep breath. It's been a day or so since the call went out, with Xion already conveniently back at Caer Scima. And she's been observant in those 24 hours, for all that it's helped.]
Almost everybody I've seen already seems to know what to do. Back home, I did missions and things all the time, but I only really had one job. And it's the one job that I can't do now.
[Can't because she refuses to. Sure she may have occasionally done other things, like recon, but her primary mission was always collecting hearts and fighting heartless, especially while Roxas was asleep. And now that she knows, fighting people, destroying their worlds isn't something she really wants any part of. Especially now that she has friends on the other side, ones that've helped her like Riku and Terra and Dick and Merida and Korra. But it's something she knows the monarchs would say she definitely should do. The thought is sickening.]
I don't really know what I'm doing here. Not... right now at least.
[Both in general and for this war effort. She hesitates for a long time then adds one last question.]
What can we do? For now, at least.
[She isn't so sure she wants to know what people think about her opinions on the whole war.]
She'd been told more than once before now to think carefully, and if she's going to do that, if she isn't going to make the decision now... She needs to figure out what to do with herself in the meantime.]
We really... don't have a choice about all this, do we?
[It's an abrupt sort of question, probably, and one she wonders if she should really be asking aloud at all. But it starts out her post with a tone of reluctance, one that never really fades away.]
Nevermind. Sorry.
[Deep breath. It's been a day or so since the call went out, with Xion already conveniently back at Caer Scima. And she's been observant in those 24 hours, for all that it's helped.]
Almost everybody I've seen already seems to know what to do. Back home, I did missions and things all the time, but I only really had one job. And it's the one job that I can't do now.
[Can't because she refuses to. Sure she may have occasionally done other things, like recon, but her primary mission was always collecting hearts and fighting heartless, especially while Roxas was asleep. And now that she knows, fighting people, destroying their worlds isn't something she really wants any part of. Especially now that she has friends on the other side, ones that've helped her like Riku and Terra and Dick and Merida and Korra. But it's something she knows the monarchs would say she definitely should do. The thought is sickening.]
I don't really know what I'm doing here. Not... right now at least.
[Both in general and for this war effort. She hesitates for a long time then adds one last question.]
What can we do? For now, at least.
[She isn't so sure she wants to know what people think about her opinions on the whole war.]
not here; sob I'm sorry
On one hand, she feels like she's boiling. She wasn't just some helpless kid! And she was trying to do something useful! And yet... the words sting because there's something to them. This was hard. And she certainly wasn't used to making decisions for herself, big ones. Not even after two months here. Because now that she really has to, she's realizing how little she understands, how much she doesn't know.
Slowly she rolls over in her bed to look over at her Keyblade, from where it's leaning against the bedpost, the metal handle gleaming in the lamplight in her room.
Back home, she'd only really been useful because of her Keyblade. Maybe it really is the same here. She didn't really know how else to not be a "helpless child." Slowly she lifts her knees up and buries her face in them.
Azula won't get a response, though. Xion's done here.]