gandere: (Default)
[personal profile] gandere
[ Being a mother... isn't as easy as it sounds, Rin's painfully discovering. While the boy she adopted is a sweet little thing, he is also a boy and Rin is lacking in experience when it comes to boys that age. In Japan they were proper and didn't mingle much with girls so there's minimal experience from her childhood to go by. Growing up, there was a baby sister for a few years, but she doesn't like to think about those times either so it's no good. She's been a mother for a week and she's already crawling to her locket after asking around. Turns out most of her close companions either suck at parenting (thanks Saber for everything Mordred) or just planned to never have children at all (because that's helpful, Waver), leaving her in the dark. If only there were self help books available, but of course there's not.

Plus this gives her a reason to actually pester people. See what's been going on now that Caer Scima is rubble and everyone is scattered throughout the world. Let people know she's alive. Give them a chance to speak with her before she shut her locket for good. So here's one Rin, dressed tomboyish for her poking around for all to see.
]

Boys are really a handful, aren't they? No--before you ask--I'm not having relationship problems. I mean little boys. I'm not sulking, but it's really kind of hard to think of activities for someone his age-! [ She's brooding pretty fiercely by now. ] When I was seven years old, all I ever wanted to do was study, so why won't he?

[ Just in case anyone in Allaidh Darach needed further proof that Rin Tohsaka was a nerd. ]

I don't even know what to feed him since Emiya left. [ Yes, that's a public jab at his departure today. She's still a bit sour over it. ] He's a stupid boy, so he knows what boys need! What if I don't have enough of the right vegetables and his growth is stunted as a result. That can happen, can't it?!

[ There's a sound in the background that causes her to nearly drop her locket, the magus fumbling with it for a few seconds before it lands solidly in her palm. ]

Crap, crap, crap! What if he heard-?! Oh no, he's going to think he's an inconvenience and—[ Snapping the locket shut. It'll be a couple minutes to confirm it's clear before she replies to anyone. ]
pontificus: (b e a u t y)
[personal profile] pontificus
[She looks a bit rushed, but gentle nonetheless, pleased to address the shardbarers. Hands folded gently in front of her, Lucrezia speaks.]

As some may know, I've lived in Treun for a time, even being adopted into the Fortuna family. Many have spoken about the concerns of anti-shardbearer sentiments, and I, too, have had them on my mind for some time. A dear girl has come to me here in this city. With our two minds we have come to a conclusion, to give back to the community to show our goodwill.

[She seems all too eager for it, having talked to some about the subject.]

At the end of the month, we are to have a fair in this great city where any shardbarer can come to offer his wares or services. It will take place in the market.

I hope to see many there.

[With a bow of her head, she shuts the locket.]
falconkick: (pic#8770289)
[personal profile] falconkick
Hey, uh. Network. My name's Sam, for those of you I haven't gotten the chance to meet yet.

[ a small smile and a lift of his chin that both say he might genuinely like that chance to meet everyone everywhere at some point. but he's here with something serious today, so he moves right along. ]

I wanted to tell y'all something I like to keep in mind from day to day, but especially on days like the last dozen or so. I'm retired military - Air National Guard pararescue, for any of you that are familiar - but I enlisted a long time ago. Don't ask for a number, a man's gotta keep some secrets.

[ feelin' your age, wilson? his cheeky smile is short lived. ]

When I went to basic, I wasn't exactly itching for a fight, so I wasn't with the other greenies that were disappointed when we started with folding our own bed sheets. My ma raised me right, and the first time I picked up a gun, it was with all due respect to the power they were putting in my hands. I didn't wanna let all that go to my head and forget the responsibility that comes with carrying arms.

[ he purses his lips for a quiet beat, inhales shortly before continuing. ]

Wish I could say the same for the first time I shot a man. My country went to war right after I was accepted into the PJs, and when it was down to me or him, I chose him. Just - [ he makes a small pew gunshot sound, glum; ] - and that was that. I wasn't scared and I didn't feel guilty about it - and that was what stuck with me. I asked my unit, my CO, anyone that would listen. No one could tell me whether or not I was supposed to feel good about killing the "bad guys".

[ another moment's silence - half to find his next words, half out of respect for the dead. he scrubs a hand over his head. ]

Still don't really have an answer, and like I said, it's been a long time. Some days I think I might be close, and other days I ask myself "man, who do you think you're kidding?" Thing of it is - whether or not you think it's for the right reasons, taking someone else's life isn't easy, and it shouldn't be. That kinda thing stains your hands, and then you gotta decide how to live with it. For me, at least, some days are easier than others. And on the days when it's not, I keep looking for an answer.

[ finally, he gives a small, weary smile. the point of this whole thing: trying to get people to talk about it so they don't bottle it in. sam knows where he stands, and it's at the door, trying to open it for others. ]

If you've got any ideas, please, I'd love to hear 'em. Maybe we can trade a few around, see if we can't come up with something new. Either way, today's a good day.

[ dead tired, quiet, but sam still says it with a smile before signing off. ]

Voice, Open

Feb. 3rd, 2015 03:01 pm
bythewaves: (weep)
[personal profile] bythewaves
[ Grief, as deep as the sea, as endless as the sky. Pain, like sheeting ice, in the voice that speaks... and for those with ears to hear, a tiny, quiet envy and relief. ]

For those who knew them, the list of those freed from this world now includes the Lady Galadriel and her husband, the Lord Celeborn, their daughter, the Lady Celebrian, the Lady Idril, and Maedhros my brother. Also, the Lady Sif, who counted us as family in lieu of those left in her own world.

Their things are with me, but they left no letters behind.
depicted: (you know you'll never be like them)
[personal profile] depicted
[Dorian Gray has been doing a great deal of growing up. When he addresses the locket, his expression is set firmly, and his famous youth is only in his features. This is war. And he does not wish for death. So he is short, to the point, avoiding all of the excesses of his normal speech patterns.]

I've produced protective stones as a product of my research in warding magic. [He holds up one: a simple stone, with runes carved in, small, lightweight, very portable.] I have made as many as I could as quickly as possible. It will guard the bearer from the first strikes set against them by taking the damage in their stead, but it can only bear so much—up to a broken bone, perhaps, or a deep but non-fatal cut. Still, it is one more chance of survival.

If any wish for one, you may come to me in the library of Caer Glaem, or I can deliver it to you anywhere in Seelie territory.
skjalf: (Default)
[personal profile] skjalf
( Her progress in working out what her locket does is very much a WIP. Still, she has fiddled with it enough to activate whatever magic controls the moving images of people. This is in an invaluable tool in her eyes, because she has precisely the purpose to put such a resource to use. Keenly aware that appearances matter especially so upon making a first impression, she is dressed elegantly, and her hair is mostly left in loose waves, some cloth-of-gold ribbon threaded throughout. She keeps the look on her face pleasant, but cool.

There is no benefit for the time being in playing the fool, as she had at home. The warmth of her smile does not extend to her eyes, not yet. Instead they hold a light of curiosity, and a great amount of seriousness. Her awareness of the situation at hand is dim but for this: she is not dreaming. She has lost all, and stands to gain everything if she but works for it. Just as her father had won the throne of England: with smiles, charm and good business sense.

Her address, then, is an earnest one. )


Good day to you, one and all. I know not how many of you there are, or from whence you come. Yet if I may, I would humbly beg a favour, if you would be so gracious as to indulge me: your acquaintance.

Indeed, I would meet as many of you as might be possible. And, if you would be even more indulgent, information pertaining to the state of affairs in this land and abroad. I find myself possessed of a desire to know the full scope of things here ere I chart my course and navigate myself through whatever trials I may face here.

( Now, finally, the warmth enters her eyes. She has no choice; it would not do for all the land to bear witness to her grief. )

I am Elizabeth Plantagenet of England. It is my hope that I will be able to repay any kindness shown me sooner rather than later. I look forward to meeting and speaking with many of you!

Until then, farewell. Deus vobiscum.
palaverous: (Adelaide parade)
[personal profile] palaverous
[A boy, probably around the age of 14 or 15, peers into the locket. He looks extremely nervous. He twists his fingers together and there’s sweat upon his brow.]

Hey! Uh hey. So my name is Wirt and this is my brother Greg. We’re uh… new here. Though I guess that’s obvious. It is obvious isn’t it. N-nevermind.

[At the bottom of the picture, a small face keeps popping in and out of view as its owner hops up and down, trying to look. For the most part, you can only see a teapot hat and a pair of eyes, which keep dipping below the view.]

It’s me -- [vanishing from the picture] Psst, down here! [popping back up into the picture.] It’s me, Greg! [And popping out of the picture] Wirt, let me see! I want to say hi!

Be quiet, Greg. I’m trying to talk to these people and you’re making me look bad.

A-anyway. The thing is me and my brother were lost and were trying to get home and now we’re here. Even more… lost. And...in a war. Which is kind of, I dunno, weird. I mean Greg is seven and I’m in high school. Is it even legal to draft us into a war? I mean, don’t we have rights or anything like that? Do we have a fairy lawyer or something like that? Do fairies have lawyers?

I’m starting to question the thought process behind this whole thing.


[By now, the smaller boy has given up on hopping up and down, and has instead walked off. You can see him in the background now; obviously a small kid with a lot of energy. He hops up one more time to wave, and then turns around and starts peering off into the trees behind them.]

Oh, did you ask if they need help picking out better uniforms?

[Wirt looks down at his brother and gives him a look of complete disinterest.] Greg. No one is wearing uniforms. This is like… one of those ragtag militias or something like that.

[Greg stops his looking around for a second, turns back around, and resumes hopping up and down again. This time he’s far enough back that you can still see him whether or not he hops, but he doesn’t seem to be aware of that.]

Right, and that’s [huff puff] exactly my point, because if we’re in a war, don’t you think --

No, Greg. We shouldn’t even be here. See I’m trying to talk to these people to get us home. So just… be quiet.

[Greg stops whatever thought he was about to say when Wirt interrupts him. He frowns, looking skeptical for all of a second, before smiling and making an ‘okay’ gesture with his hand.]

Yeah, okay! Good idea. I’ll be quiet and see if I can find the bad guys, and meanwhile you come up with the plan!

[With that, he seems satisfied. In fact, he wanders off again behind them, this time wandering very quietly and vanishing from sight behind one of the trees.]

So anyway, as I was say-

[Loudly whispered from somewhere beyond the trees.] Wirt! [And less whispered, poking his head out from behind a tree.] Hey Wirt! There’s a bear. I wonder if he knows directions! I’ll go ask. [With that, he vanishes again, wandering off into the woods.]

That’s great, Greg. [Said with all the air of someone who doesn’t care one little bit and is not in the least bit concerned] Anyway, if you could just point us back to the way out of here. Away from the war and armies and other things that are dangerous and not child-appropriate that would be great. If we don’t get home soon, things are going to start getting messy. And my mom’s going to be furious. And I’ll get lectured and grounded and that sort of thing.

[A beat. There’s something missing. Everything is far too quiet. Hmmm. What could it be. Oh that’s right.]

Greg? Greg? Where did you run off to?

((OOC; both Greg and Wirt will be replying!))
pontificus: (t o y i n g)
[personal profile] pontificus
[The locket seems to be left on while on top of a desk. Papers encompass most of the shot, but there's a particular one with the seal of an eagle with wheat and arrows in its talons for those who don't know it's the crest of the Fortuna family in Treun. Lucrezia comes into the shot, sweeping in all dressed up, and hands another letter to two guards.]

Please tell your master I am grateful for his offer. [She fixes the ring on her finger, the one with the same crest as the ring. She smiles, proud of herself before she lets the men go and moves to grab the locket. It doesn't seem to phase her that it's on, but she still has that same satisfied grin.]

I suppose I should announce it then. My true name here is now Lucrezia Borgia of the Fortuna family. [Because Borgia still means something to her, as strange as having a family and being adopted is. Having no one but herself for nearly a year, she's climbed up from nothing to having a name here. She hasn't and will not forget Borgia, but being a Fortuna means something here.]

I wonder how many of my family members are shardbarers. [It's offhanded and said with a slight hum, more proud at herself than anything. She switches off the feed then.]
fabulosa: (pic#8772527)
[personal profile] fabulosa
[Oh. My. God. She's in hell. She has to be - that's the only explanation. The biggest question is why because as far as she's concerned, she hasn't done anything to deserve this. At the urging of the tiny, creepy creatures, she'd made a pass through the feast before quickly deciding a big nope on that.

She doesn't mingle.

Even if the food smelled amazing. Instead, she settled back in her rooms, a tray of some of the selections in front of her on the large bed as the imps parade some wardrobe choices in front of her. She has her makeup and hair products scattered around her, dress tucked underneath her. She'd spent about 10 minutes scaring a few of the imps into submission, finding them not to be too bad once they stopped biting. They weren't Boi, but they'd have to do for now - desperate times called for desperate measures. She's even let one of them hold her Tiffany bracelet. See? She can totally play nice with others.

The locket pans the explosion of fabric in her very nice bedroom, along with the growing pile of 'nopes'. She has them add one more to it as a dress is shown to her, a bark of laughter followed by a shake of her head, before focusing on the locket the imp was currently holding. She takes a sip of the wine they'd brought up as well before giving her best smile.]


So, war. That's a thing. Not really sure why I was brought here. I mean, like, I've got super important stuff I need to be doing back home. I have an epic last summer before college to figure out with my brother, put my finishing touches on my 10-step plan to be on Broadway, and pick and design my college apartment. I don't have time to deal with this extra drama or this color scheme. Ew. I mean, hello... Dark, gloomy shades are so not meant for my skin tone.

[She gives another thumbs down at the clothes before giving an exasperated sigh.]

Speaking of. Clothing. Money isn't an issue. [She pulls her wallet out of her pink Prada tote, letting the plastic card holder tumble out in an impressive display. Most of the credit cards are pink, created specially for her, except for the black American Express.] Designer labels are a definite bonus.

[There's a little squeak from one of the imps, reminding her of something important.]

Right. I'm Sharpay, by the way. [It was weird thinking there were people here that didn't know who she was. It's okay, though, that'd be changing real soon.] And I guess that's it for now.

Ok... Toodles! [And with that she gives a little wave of her hand, the imp shutting the locket quickly after.]
cinnamoned: (Going to kill the Queen)
[personal profile] cinnamoned
[This time when the locket is turned on, it's more deliberate. More practiced than her initial attempt was. She huffs, attempting to blow some hair from her face as she straightens.]

I don't suppose there is anyone around that can cut hair? Mine is getting a bit long again and in the way. I suppose I could try myself but I figured I'd ask on the chance there is someone that could help. I had it real short and wouldn't mind a pixie cut again if only to keep it out of the way.

The other question I had was on magic. I know the magic here is apparently different to home. I'm just not sure on the details exactly. I know it's habit for me to be wary of it after....my personal experiences back home have mostly been dealing with curses, so. There is that. I just figure it's best for me to understand more about this place, what we can utilize and what could potentially be used against us with this war.

Speaking of, if anyone wants lessons in archery or horseback I could help on that front, at least. I don't know yet just how involved I want to get in all of this, but I can at least try help others learn to defend themselves where necessary.

[The least she can do, for those that would want to learn. She's already offered to help Charles, after all. There's something else, making Snow bite her lip and lower her gaze for a moment before getting to the last.]

The other thing - I don't know if anyone had any plans with my step-mother, Regina, but I know I can't seem to get ahold of her myself. She's in the other Court - with the Unseelie. Or was. I'm guessing she was sent home, but if she had plans with anyone, I'd like to do what I can to help. If possible.
chromosomes: (grill.)
[personal profile] chromosomes
[ John is in a stranger position than he's usually in when he makes broadcasts. Sprawled out on his stomach on the floor, locket in front of his face, he looks- not relaxed, but at the very least less active than he usually is. On his back rests the head and front paws of his female saber-fanged cave lion, her toes flexing every once in a while as if she's kneading his back.

There's a loud sigh. ]


God damn, but this place makes me feel old sometimes. I'm in my thirties and here we all get triple the lifespan -- I'm way too young for this. Don't know how you elves and other long-lived people do it.

[ Granted, with his enhancements, John may very well be long-lived even without the lifespan boost of the Drabwurld... but that's not the point. ]

Of course, this could be part of what happens when you join the military at seventeen and see several lifetimes of war stretch out in front of you. Not that I assume the life expectancy for most shardbearers is that high...

[ And he's being morbid. He grimaces- and then swears again. ]

Buttercup, watch your claws!
aureinsof: ([r] i am mightier than the god)
[personal profile] aureinsof
[Locked to Seelie]

[As much as Aster doesn't want to do this, it's important in the end. It might help him make connections.]

Hey. With everyone preparing for war, thought I would make an offer. Name a monster you want and I'll tame it for you. I need a favour equal in return. You want something simple, it's simple return. Harder and I need more for it. Make an offer if you're interested.


[Open to Both Courts]

[Aster opens the message up here, because he needs to know more.]

Tell me about the beasts of this land. I need to hear from both courts. What monsters do you know about? The more in-depth, the better.

[He considers saying thanks but he doesn't, just shutting off his locket instead.]
walkingarsenal: (No such thing as too many sharp things.)
[personal profile] walkingarsenal
[Fíli seldom uses the lockets to make announcements for all shardbearers to hear, still reluctant to rely on them without restraint, but there is something that needs mentioning even amidst the mounting tensions. He comes into view, beard closely cropped, and begins with a nod in greeting.]

Cothromach has housed us for some months, but my companions and I will be taking our leave of the city. Our lockets remain open to any who seek us -- that is, my brother Kíli, our cousin Gimli, and Mister Baggins.

[In the background, Kíli gestures wildly, making muffled sounds until his brother turns to look his way. Then his fingers move in a series of quick, precise motions, and Fíli faces the locket again with a small smile resting on his lips.]

Our cousin has friends and acquaintances all over, if we're not mistaken... Should you have a moment, Kíli and I would be grateful for any help in reminding Gimli that today happens to be his birthday.

[From Fili’s opposite side comes Bilbo’s voice, quietly surprised.] His birthday! My goodness that is a cause for celebration - a party may be too much, but I wonder if he would like a birthday cake?

-- And no Kili I do not need your help with the baking! Eru knows you’d only devour half the batter before I could even finish...
slugout: manga. (+yukari) (☢ buzzkill)
[personal profile] slugout
Man, you guys are serious about this whole... stabbing-people-you-don't-like thing.

If you're out in the woods, be careful! There's a marine wandering around in the dark hunting [ LARGE AIR QUOTES ] "rabbits" and he's pretty grumpy. He'll throw rocks at you if you're not careful. [ juNPEI YOU STARTED THAT. ] I don't think he's a fan of baseball, either. He was in the Noa Woods earlier, but he's probably moved on by now, terrorizing the rabbit and rock populations.

Anyway, does anybody know the best way to make money here that doesn't involve stabbing people shaped individuals? We don't mind fighting....

[ cue him getting smacked in the back of the head by some pink sweatered demon offscreen, effectively cutting him off from whatever he was going to say.

the recovery, to say the least, is conspicuous. ]


... Large angry rabbits?
wolvering: (Like sunshine and milkweed.)
[personal profile] wolvering
[The post is open to both Seelie and Unseelie, only because Pod hasn't figured out locking yet (or, honestly, think it necessary). Pod appears on the lockets, surrounded by linen strips that she's rolling into tight rolls.]

I have been hard at work to make things for the army heading out. Wound wash and liniments and bandages, but all my work does not make enough. Not a job for one, this, so I thought, perhaps, that there might be others that would like to lend their time to the task and work with me.

I am also running low on some herbs I need. I would be most grateful if someone knew where else to find them in winter.

[She smiles and bows her head.]

If someone would like to join me, I am in one of the rooms in Caer Glaem that seem set aside for tasks such as these and can send directions. Or if someone would like to stop by and help by delivering them to those in need, that would also be a fine thing.

((ooc: there is indeed a log for those who want to help. and let's pretend this wasn't hideously late.))
enthraller: (23)
[personal profile] enthraller
[Well. Looks like Tzilan was right about the Seelie going on the offensive. It's one of those odd occasions where Saralegui wishes the vampire wasn't always right, but nothing to do about it now besides damage control. If that happens to be good for his image, then that's just bonus points.]

I'm sure everyone is aware of the upcoming fighting by now. And I'm sure there are those who, like myself, have no skill whatsoever in that area or just no interest in it.

[Just look at him. He's a twig, and that hair is absolutely not at all practical for fighting. The  self-aware, slightly self-deprecating little smile he wears is only further evidence of that. And better, of course, to play up that helplessness. He prefers to be underestimated, and the knife the Brucolac had given him is very easy to keep hidden.]

So I'd like to offer up Redgate as a safe haven away from the fighting. Others have made this offer, I know, and I hate to be redundant. But I would hate myself more if I didn't make it at all, and I can at least offer a place well out of the line of fire. It's very defensible, and kinder to shardbearers than most places have been lately -- the result of having been founded by a shardbearer, I assume. The distance might seem great, but for shardbearers it isn't really that bad -- only a few days from the nearest fairy ring in Daonna.

Truthfully, I am Unseelie myself, but I make this offer to anyone who wants it, from whichever court. The politics of this world mean little to me. I only want to see those who can't defend themselves kept safe.

[Saber had asked him as the Unseelie General to take Unseelie-aligned individuals into Redgate's care, but she hadn't technically asked to only take those from their own court. If she has a problem with how he does things, then she can bring it up with him personally.]
fell_to_hell: (Oh I think I'm breaking down)
[personal profile] fell_to_hell
["Son of a bitch," is pretty much what Nico's thinking at this point. For the moment, he's wedged himself in a safe, shadowed place so that he can get an announcement out. His voice is low, trying not to let any of the natives find out where he is.]

To any Shardbearers on either Court planning on ever visiting Leathann: don't. The Seven-Star Oracle, a very powerful and prominent figure here, was killed and they say it was a Shardbearer who did it. Things are going to Tartarus in a wrapped hand-basket.

Private: Seelie Marshal Lancelot )
marred: [ supernatural i know ] (pic#7854892)
[personal profile] marred
[ on january 11, the humming of the macarena comes to a sudden and abrupt halt. it's with a hiss of a snake and the sight of a tongue in the very corner of the camera, it's clear luke isn't holding his locket. it's martha who is, but she doesn't make a sound as a little red fox curls into luke's neck and licks his jaw. she's rowdy and restless, but luke tries to smooth her hackles a little with his fingers stroking her fur. as for the man himself, he looks a little tired. ]

[ his voice is quiet, ] Uh, hey guys. [ the fox in his arms nudges him hard on the jaw. ] Woah, hey, calm down.

Look, I need to make this quick. It's getting colder. I'm not really great at knitting, but — Can anyone help me out here? She needs something to keep her from shivering.

I promised someone I'd take care of her. And — [ he meant it when he'd vowed to the black shuck he'd honour his deceased friend. and that even means doing this. ] Yeah, I'm going to need more than one pair of socks and a scarf. We can work out a trade, if you're not willing to knit for free.

[ the fox settles against him, closing her eyes. there's a quiet hiss of ask from martha. ] And if you can knit two long stockings — [ the camera shakes and luke rolls his eyes. ] And maybe four or so ear muffs — I'd be grateful.

[ and though it appears as though luke's wanting to get off his locket as soon as possible with the fox resting against him, it's all an act. encrypting a text for seelie only, he dictates his own audition advertisement for the seers of the court. please note: this advertisement lacks the extravagance of his cow advert from a few days prior. it doesn't help he has a fox that won't leave him alone in his hands. ]

SEELIE LOCKED )
baseborne: (JS6015444)
[personal profile] baseborne
[So, now seems as good a time as any (or a better time than most) to remind people that there are other options. They've been called to fight, to kill and die, but they would not be the first to cast off the endless war of the greater courts. Such progenitors scatter through the land, it seems, old and entrenched in society but with shards of their own all the same, and ties to the Kings and Queens that only become clear when pulled. (Confusingly enough, the native peoples have even adopted one such shard-bearing defector as their anti-shard-bearer mascot. Jon has long since abandoned the exhaustive habit of questioning the logic of anything in this land of fairies.)

Still, this is his first time addressing the Network at large (intentionally, let us not speak of any accidental star-theft related visions) despite being around for just over half a year, now. It's... oddly unnerving, but he puts great pains into keeping his expression stony. Indeed, he presents the locket with a very serious, rather dour look that gives the impression he'd be a huge stick in the mud, and then he clears his throat.]


If there are any who do not wish to take part in this war - who cannot fight, or who will not, the Cothromach takes no part and would house you for however long you might think it necessary. [Straightforward and to the point. Jon's not great at rousing speeches, really, he just says what he has to say.] Other places have been offered, and they are good as well, held by good people. [Sup Mally!] Only know that you have options. [You know, in case those wacky Queens are telling you to take up arms against your literal brother or something crazy like that.]
desperate_times: (sunny)
[personal profile] desperate_times
[Chloe is being filmed by another. She’s aboard the Black Pearl, sailing high in Unseelie skies.]

Well! It looks like we’re being called to do a little work. Since I don’t like to be on the bad side of uber-powerful beings, I’m going to have to be good and scout the southern border of the Unseelie territory.

So! Here’s what that means to you.

If you cross the border and you are not Unseelie, I may just have to drop something unpleasant on you from above. The Black Pearl will be sailing to-and-fro, and despite not having actual eyes, the skeleton crew is somehow pretty good at spotting things. Let’s try to avoid that nastiness, alright?

[A bright smile.]

This job is, well, it’s not exactly entertaining, so here’s how we’re spicing it up.

[She steps aside and lifts her arms out ala Vanna White to show off three mystery boxes. They’re so mysterious they even have big ? marks painted on them!]

Ladies and gentleman, inside of these boxes are three super fun surprises. Or, fun for me, anyway. I’ve asked my crew to place inside one of these boxes a load of confetti, in another box a load of dish water, and in a third box, a load of cow dung.

When you’re spotted, I’ll randomly choose a box! I’ll have no idea what’s in it until my crew drops it on top of you. Won’t that be exciting?

Now, if you continue to persist in your venture into Unseelie territory, the next thing that falls on you will be a cannonball.

See? We can make patrols less boring if we try really hard.