Introspection | Action | Vocal Locket Outburst -- Open to All

[all7seas]

((The first part of this post is Jack's personal record of his stay at the Unseelie Court. The second bit is action, and anyone near Loch Noa, north of the Station, can encounter Jack. Responses to his locket exclamation in the very last section of this post are also welcome.))


The Private Captain's Log of Jack Sparrow, late of the Black Pearl, now of some blighted Castle in Fairy-Land. If found, cast it into the sea. Any sea. Bugger.

June the 1st: Arrived. Rum. Feast. Met a devastating woman who lost her throne. Might be interesting -- looks to be wealthy-ish. Scary, though. Met a fellow with a rich inner life and a hatred of slavery. Met a variety of people from a land called "Panem." Electric fences. Best not to go there.

The Unseelie castle reminds a man of Shipwreck City, just without Grandmama at its black heart. Here is to hoping she didn't cross over as well, though the place would suit her.

Lots of rum.

*****

((While there are entries for June 2nd through about the 6th, they sort of trail off sideways down the pages. There are frequent mentions of "rum" and "bottle." In fact, the entry for June 4th pretty much repeats rumbottle rumbottle rumbottle ho, rumbottle rumbottle doh dee doh doh as though Jack has been composing a song. The entries cease at June the 11th, an entry for which nothing is written. Then:))

June 13ish. Maybe. There is a mooing.

June 14. Why is there a mooing? There is a mooing and a mooing. A man can't get drunk enough. Blast this castle.

June 15th. I have primed my pistol, removing Barbossa's Shot and fixing another in its place. Captain Jack Sparrow, Scourge of Caracas, Pirate Lord of the Caribbean, has a mimbling cow to shoot. The mooing transgresses every boundary between piratedom and cowdom and demands resolution, and I, Captain Jack Sparrow, shall resolve it heretoforthwith TODAY. Bovine-pirate borders must be firmed up, blast it, and broiled steaks for all to-night.

[Thus, Captain Jack Sparrow sets off to shoot the Hedley Kow.

Outside the castle, he approaches it where it passive-aggressively chews a turnip. It moos in a low, coaxing sort of way. It is a come-hither moo, but Jack is not charmed. He aims and pulls the trigger, but at that moment, the pistol vanishes.]

BUGGER!

[The beast moos again, and now his hat -- his HAT! -- takes itself from off his head and vanishes as well! Jack is left speechless as, with a final mocking moo, the Kow itself disappears.

No....no, that's not right. The Kow did not disappear. Somehow, Jack realizes, he has disappeared and reappeared Someplace Else. There is a great dark lake before him, dark even under the sun. Trees whisper in the wind. No one else appears to be near. Welcome to Loch Noa, Captain Jack Sparrow. He opens his locket, shakes it, and bellows:]

..........................Monkeytits!

Comments

voice »

[steeledskin]

Beg pardon!

[ she shouldn't be responding. not really. not with so many enemies lurking on these lockets. but the sudden language and the hard bellowing voice startles her -- and so her own exclamation is equally as impassioned and thoughtless. ]

voice »

[all7seas]

I've never liked beggars! They're down-low types. Not like honest thieves.

[Surly, yes -- but a BIT calmer at least, is Jack Sparrow.]

voice »

[steeledskin]

Is there truly such a thing as an honest thief?

[ she has her doubts. ]

video

[dissimulates]

[Xellos read the journal and heard the outburst.]

I take it that the cow hunting does not go as planned, Captain.

video

[all7seas]

[Someone is still pretty irate.]

The time of the cow will come. Mark me.

[Until then, he just has to figure out where the hell he is.]

video

[netneutrality]

[there is a quiet muttering of "Monkeywhat" before Toki's face appears]

Um, hello? Are you alright?

video

[all7seas]

NO. I'm by a lake and the cow's still alive!

[Damn that bovine bastard.]

A piece of advice, lad -- don't go near it.

video;

[breadmaking]

[Long, long stare at his locket. He just heard what he thinks he heard, right???]

Uh, okay. [Hiccup sounds very unsure of how to respond to this.] Did you really need to let everyone in Drabwurld hear that?

video;

[all7seas]

Sorry I've offended your sensibilities, my young muffin-headed lad. Its simply this: the kow has taken me off someplace lake-ish and I, very soon, shall be sending her over the moon. Savvy?

[And you can either LIKE that plan or BE ON THE WRONG SIDE, Hiccup.]

[Voice]

[radiantstorm]

[Kaladin was still getting the hang of his locket communicator... thing... but it was a voice that he recognised that bellowed out from it and caught his attention.]

What's wrong?

[Voice]

[all7seas]

Oi! Kaladin, mate! [Well here's a familiar voice.] You back at the blighted castle? And do you hear a mooing?

[Maybe he could pay Kaladin to murder the Kow for him.]

video »

[aliased]

[ hi, she loves you. ] Are you a pirate? [ he looks like what she imagines what pirates look like.] Or just a sea captain?

video »

[all7seas]

[You will probably eventually terrify him. That's okay.]

"Just" a sea captain, little lass? JUST? I'm both, me! [He says that proudly.] And I also hornswoggle a bit on the side. Have you ever hornswoggled?

voice;

[notafishwhisperer]

[ Well, this is weird, and vaguely amusing. ]

Pirate Lord of the Caribbean, you say? Sounds like an important job.

voice;

[all7seas]

It's more of an honorary title, really, mate. Unless, of course, a Brethren Court happens to convene. Otherwise pirates don't see too much useful cooperation.

[That was one way of putting it.]

Who're you?

[bullhorned]

They're cows?

[This he says after he's seen to it that others have addressed Jack and the man seems to be otherwise unharmed by the encounter. But cows? Making people vanish? It's a strange set of events.]

[all7seas]

It was one cow, lad.

[By this point Jack is calmer, is seated by the lakeside, and has contrived a fishing line. He feels gloomy. Nothing's biting, really, and there's an uncommon mist over everything.]

It was one cow, and it hated me.

>> voice

[fewerdays]

Well that's one way to put it, I guess.

>> voice

[all7seas]

Here's some others: gorilla-bottom. Sow-teats. Mink-glands. Bee-stingy-back-end-thing. There's more I'm sure, but I'm all in a muleclabber.

video;

[pontificus]

[She cannot help the good natured laugh.]

Pray tell, how and why have you come by a cow? Surely there are more useful beasts of burden?

video;

[all7seas]

[Well THIS one's quite a noble-looker.]

'Scuse me, my princessliness, but I did not come by this cow. This cow came by me, and wouldn't stop with the mooing. Not my fault. I abdicate any and all responsibility for anything done to me by this cow.

Surely you yourself would react in anger if a cow suddenly magicked you to a lake.

video.

[espouses]

That's a new one. Monkeytits. Is Andraste not good enough anymore?

video.

[all7seas]

Andraste? Are you from Belgium?

[Because he has his suspicions.]

[foreignflight]

[ what. the outburst is more then a tad confusing and embarrassing. ao kind of has to stop a moment before responding. ]

Was that supposed to do something?

[all7seas]

Was what supposed to do what thing hownow?

[Sorry, he's still too ticked off to think clearly and respond properly to locket commentary.]