Introspection | Action | Vocal Locket Outburst -- Open to All

[all7seas]

((The first part of this post is Jack's personal record of his stay at the Unseelie Court. The second bit is action, and anyone near Loch Noa, north of the Station, can encounter Jack. Responses to his locket exclamation in the very last section of this post are also welcome.))


The Private Captain's Log of Jack Sparrow, late of the Black Pearl, now of some blighted Castle in Fairy-Land. If found, cast it into the sea. Any sea. Bugger.

June the 1st: Arrived. Rum. Feast. Met a devastating woman who lost her throne. Might be interesting -- looks to be wealthy-ish. Scary, though. Met a fellow with a rich inner life and a hatred of slavery. Met a variety of people from a land called "Panem." Electric fences. Best not to go there.

The Unseelie castle reminds a man of Shipwreck City, just without Grandmama at its black heart. Here is to hoping she didn't cross over as well, though the place would suit her.

Lots of rum.

*****

((While there are entries for June 2nd through about the 6th, they sort of trail off sideways down the pages. There are frequent mentions of "rum" and "bottle." In fact, the entry for June 4th pretty much repeats rumbottle rumbottle rumbottle ho, rumbottle rumbottle doh dee doh doh as though Jack has been composing a song. The entries cease at June the 11th, an entry for which nothing is written. Then:))

June 13ish. Maybe. There is a mooing.

June 14. Why is there a mooing? There is a mooing and a mooing. A man can't get drunk enough. Blast this castle.

June 15th. I have primed my pistol, removing Barbossa's Shot and fixing another in its place. Captain Jack Sparrow, Scourge of Caracas, Pirate Lord of the Caribbean, has a mimbling cow to shoot. The mooing transgresses every boundary between piratedom and cowdom and demands resolution, and I, Captain Jack Sparrow, shall resolve it heretoforthwith TODAY. Bovine-pirate borders must be firmed up, blast it, and broiled steaks for all to-night.

[Thus, Captain Jack Sparrow sets off to shoot the Hedley Kow.

Outside the castle, he approaches it where it passive-aggressively chews a turnip. It moos in a low, coaxing sort of way. It is a come-hither moo, but Jack is not charmed. He aims and pulls the trigger, but at that moment, the pistol vanishes.]

BUGGER!

[The beast moos again, and now his hat -- his HAT! -- takes itself from off his head and vanishes as well! Jack is left speechless as, with a final mocking moo, the Kow itself disappears.

No....no, that's not right. The Kow did not disappear. Somehow, Jack realizes, he has disappeared and reappeared Someplace Else. There is a great dark lake before him, dark even under the sun. Trees whisper in the wind. No one else appears to be near. Welcome to Loch Noa, Captain Jack Sparrow. He opens his locket, shakes it, and bellows:]

..........................Monkeytits!

Comments

[bullhorned]

They're cows?

[This he says after he's seen to it that others have addressed Jack and the man seems to be otherwise unharmed by the encounter. But cows? Making people vanish? It's a strange set of events.]

[all7seas]

It was one cow, lad.

[By this point Jack is calmer, is seated by the lakeside, and has contrived a fishing line. He feels gloomy. Nothing's biting, really, and there's an uncommon mist over everything.]

It was one cow, and it hated me.

[bullhorned]

Aye, but there's a girl who had trouble with one of these cows as well. Magic cows, they must be.

[all7seas]

I still maintain it's just the one cow. Right: we need a plan, lad, should it make itself a nuisance again.

[This is code for Gendry: Make a Plan.]

[bullhorned]

You're the one what needs a plan. It ain't my bloody problem.

[all7seas]

Think of how it'll impress the young ladies when you cause the cow to explode, sending entrails flying to the four corners of the Drab-whatever it is!

[He doesn't really care WHO does this to the Kow. He just wants it to explode.]

[bullhorned]

I can't think of any lady what would like seeing a cow's guts strewn about for all to see.

[Certainly not the lady he's with now. Maybe Arya.]

[all7seas]

You've never been to Paris. Abbatoirs everywhere, just for a lark.

[No there weren't.]

[bullhorned]

No, I ain't ever heard of Paris. But there's plenty of those in King's Landing.

[Not all of them served the strictest definition of edible meat.]

[all7seas]

King's Landing. That anyplace near Kingsport? I think I sacked Kingsport, once.

[bullhorned]

Never heard of no Kingsport. Pirates don't come to King's Landing as much. It's a good place to get themselves killed.

[all7seas]

There's nothing pirates hate worse than being killed. Though I'd admit that when a man's in need of something, he'd go near anywhere for it. Not openly, of course.

[His thoughts have wandered back to just how he's going to get his hat and pistol back.]

[bullhorned]

Aye, likely so. There were always smugglers and thieves about. Mayhaps some of them were pirates when out to sea again.

[His tone indicates no special love of them. He might be an outlaw now, but he was once a good and honest blacksmith.]

[all7seas]

Pirates are more better and magnificent than common thieves, mate. Pirates are more than just thieves in a boat. They're pirates.

[He's not doing a very good job of explaining this.]

[bullhorned]

What's so special about thieves in a boat? Pirates are just bandits that spend more time sailing than stealing.

[all7seas]

Exactly. [And what is more glorious than sailing?] Free men!

[bullhorned]

Free? You're stuck on a bloody boat! [He doesn't see what's so free about being stuck in a tub.]

[all7seas]

A bloody boat what's movin' fast and FREE. FREELY. WITH FREEDOM.

[WTH maybe this guy is just kind of slow-witted.]

[bullhorned]

Why should I care if the bloody boat is free. I'd still be stuck in it, unless I fancied swimming.

[Which he can't. Swim. At all.]

[all7seas]

Your stuck there in your own two boots, aren't you. [Just an observation, no offense meant.]

[bullhorned]

I can take those off, anytime I please. [Most would pray he didn't.]

[all7seas]

Please don't.

[bullhorned]

I don't mean to.