eachdraidh | video » (unseelie locked)

[ The room is pink. Pink, gold, and are those fluffy, clever bunnies-the-size-of-imps running around adjusting the statues? Might be. ]

Hey! Goddess of Love speaking! Pay attention. [ She's curvaceous, tall, and dressed in enough chiffon that you'd think physics would keep her covered up, and yet. ] Hi-iiii. My name is Aphrodite, you might know me by a bunch of other things.

Obviously this place is like Ares's wet dream with all the war biz going on, but that's not my jam. Love would be the name of my game. Problem is, I don't have anywhere for mortals to leave messages for me when I'm busy and I am so not answering calls for help on this locket indefinitely because, uh, I have a life, so here's the deal; build me a temple near the edge of Dorchadas and I'll give you a freebie. That babe you've had your eye on? I'll make them fall in love with you! Are you ugly as a toad? I'll give you a permanent make-over! This is a one-time thing because I'm feeling generous ... and clearly don't have any offerings coming in, ugh. Speaking of, if you want to leave cute shoes as a gift, I'm a size six.

So yeah! Get in touch.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I can't do near the edge of Dorchadas, but I can get a shrine built for you. No looking for freebies, just- we could do with a little more love around here.

Is there anything specific you like for that sort of thing, or should I surprise you?

[ Every time she's surprised she gets the best and weirdest mix. Cultists, man. ]

[For once, Rider is almost dumbstruck - they brought a goddess here? One that he was not only familiar with, but had been worshiped in his own time-! Of course, having been only a man in that time, he'd never actually seen a god or goddess, but it wasn't uncommon for people to commune with them back then, either.

Still, he wasn't really keen on building projects that he couldn't name after himself]

I have want of little here, my lady, but would like to extend a welcome, anyway.

[ ............................ This is madness. ]

You want someone to build you a temple in exchange for a makeover.

Your followers leave you shoes?

...Is love really what we ought to be concerned with right now?

[War is something Balem can handle well enough. Love? That's a different story.]

Oh, you're so sweet! [ And she means it! More stressed than she looks, Aphrodite beams at her. ] You should totally surprise me, I'd love that. What's your name, cutie?

Still playing the worship and followers game?

[Thor seems amused. Asgard had long ago given up seeking human worshippers. They still had them, of course, as well as other around the universe- but they did not ask for temples to be built in their honour, as the Olympians did.]

Tubular! [ Welcomes are so welcoming, yes good. ] Whereabouts are you chilling? I'm down with an old school home-visit, sure.

[ the goddess of love called her sweet cue some trying and failing not to blush ]

Ariadne. Not- you know, the original, I'm just named for her.

Exsqueeze me, I'll have you know that I've helped a lot of people out of unfortunate and way harsh acne situations.

You expect people to want to worship you? To reach you? [The judgment is clear in her voice. It's not that she's unfamiliar with prayers to gods or worship of them. She just thinks it's tacky to manipulate people into doing it.

Then again, she's no fan of gods herself.

... Despite kind of sort of being one.]

I'm sure they were incredibly life threatening.

[ He huffs out a noise. ]

This sounds like a waste of time.

If they want a reply, they do. Shoes are way better than the stinky old fish some people dump in baskets. I mean, I'm the Goddess of Love! What am I supposed to do with that? What. "Hey, dude, slap your honey with a trout! That'll make her come around!" No.

What else are you going to jerk off to, the sound of people complaining? Little weird.

Hey, big guy, people need me! Everybody desires a little bit of love in their life and I'm mostly willing and able to help.

[ 'Mostly' because some people are just jerks. ]

Don't you have a temple or a shrine I could crash for a while? [ Jussst gonna shrug and pout. ] You could always drop in, of course, be a good host and check how I'm doing.

Perhaps they wish for him to cook her a fish dinner? I have seen humans attempt to court others with food.

Though it does seem an odd choice for an offering to a goddess of love, in any case.

Duh! I'm the Goddess of Love. Which rock have you been living under? [ WAIT she's distracted. ] Oh, your hair is so cute.

[ Nope, the moment's gone. ]

Shame about your attitude.

It doesn't seem worth it.

Whoa, check out that name. Yeah, original Ariadne didn't have much self-respect, it was so sad. [ Squinting. ] You don't have a thing for Apollo, right? Because he's hot when you're rolling around in the back of his chariot, but later? Jerk.

You know what? If you're ever covered in pus, don't bother calling. I'll be out!

Do I look like I have any idea how to give advice on cookery to you? No. Shoes! And jewellery. And ... maybe those soft pillows all the rage in Rome.

I'm sure I would find a way to survive.

Okay? Congrats on wasting both your time and mine by breathing today.

For Apollo? No. Definitely never met anyone named Apollo, the actual god or not. And I don't really like to deal with guys who don't call the next day unless we both went into it looking for that.

[ Also never had sex in the back of a chariot.

Note to self: see if Steve wants to get a chariot. ]

Oh, that's what you think now, with a jaw-line that could cut glass and gorgeously piercing eyes, but you'd be wrong! Then it'll be, "Help me, Aphrodite, my nose is rotting off!" and I'll be like, "Oops, it's pedicure day! Sorry."

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