video; closed to unseelie

[meloncholy]

[It's Porthos' first time speaking on the network and the picture of him in the locket has a face like a thunderstorm. He is so done with this place and you're about to find out why - ]

It seems in our tumultuous emotional state having first been brought here, my friend and I have managed to insult the imps.

[Or rather Aramis shot one, ran into Porthos, and there was a fight that wasn't fatal but a tad more vicious than a Musketeer vs. imp fingersnap dance routine.]

As you can imagine, they've taken it upon themselves to remind us that we're not forgiven for our trespass. [He won't mention that swearing at them also didn't work, he knew it wouldn't, it just made him feel better.] And since we come from a world where magic doesn't exist, or if it does it's very scarce, I was wondering what could be done to appease them in some way.

[In other words please get the little buggers to stop leaving fish heads in his boots, tugging his beard until he wakes up in the night, etc.]

I will owe a reasonably proportioned debt to whoever can provide good advice.

Comments

Video

[gordianknots]

At the risk of asking the obvious, and not helping your anger, have you tried asking them what might be done to make it up to them?

[meloncholy]

They're not exactly in the mood for reasoning or talking to either of us. [It's that bad.]

[gordianknots]

Oh good lord. That's actually kind of impressive--

[vrykolakas]

Either bribe them, or terrify the living shit out of them. If you go the former route, they like red meat, the rarer the better, or—perhaps just throw them a cat or something, save yourself the trouble of killing anything, they like their meals kicking. Anything with a little glitz and shine to it, too, they like to hoard.

[meloncholy]

[He's not sure what will horrify Aramis' Catholic sensibilities more - stringing one up as a message to the rest of them, or something that's one step away from blood sacrifice to the little devils.

Under his breath:] Like bloody rats. [Rats fat on the filth of 17th century Parisian streets, at any rate. To The Brucolac:] That sounds the right amount of awful.

[vrykolakas]

Like bloody rats.

Still, tossing them a bite to eat's no terrible sacrifice, surely? You can't be squeamish, if you've made them dislike you so. If you really want something bloodless, fill a clean trough with some strong dark drink and tell them it's to share. They'll squabble like dogs, and the fortress will run the slower for it, but a pissed imp is a happy imp.

Video

[huntedby]

Perhaps you could treat them with respect. They serve you, and do not deserve to be treated as slaves.

Or things that can be expended.

[The imps are harmless.]

Video

[meloncholy]

[There's a long pause, before Porthos slowly and emphatically replies - ]

I can assure you, mademoiselle, I never have and never will treat anyone or anything like a slave.

Video

[huntedby]

Miss Ives, if you will.

[She gives a nod.]

I did not mean to imply that you have. But clearly you have upset them, a great deal.

[On to other subjects.]

I do not mean to be forward, but are you a Moor?

video;

[burping]

[ okay, so she's a tiny bit amused.] May I ask how you insulted them?

video;

[meloncholy]

It wasn't me, mademoiselle, but my friend. He's a pious man and believed them to be demons and shot one of them not long after his arrival. They didn't take kindly to that and I helped defend him from the mob - nothing excessively violent, of course. A vegetable was thrown, a sword brandished, and some words said in bad temper. [And continuously said in bad temper any time they wreaked their mischief, be honest Porthos.]

video;

[burping]

[ she lets out a short laugh of surprise before suppressing a smile.] How very insulting indeed. Perhaps you should offer them something in apology. Imps are selfish creatures are they not? If the storybooks speak true.

[aliased]

[ and arya is just going to mess with him.] You have to give them a sacrifice.

[meloncholy]

[Porthos is skeptical, but - ] What sort of sacrifice?

[aliased]

Treats.

video;

[survivra]

Give them a well-placed kick in the head.

[ imps suck man 8U ]

video;

[meloncholy]

They'll run us out of the castle at this rate if I do.

video;

[survivra]

Not if you kick them hard enough.

audio;

[liven]

Ask Lumina about it. They like her.

[ ...Well, it's the advice she has to offer, anyway... ]

Otherwise, bribe them with treats.

audio;

[meloncholy]

[He's got a good idea of what treats the imps might like by now, but - ]

Who's Lumina?

audio;

[liven]

Pink haired girl from our court. Since you can just call people on the lockets by asking for them by name, it shouldn't be hard to get into contact with her.

[ Presumably. It's the only reason Shijima's bothering to remember names at this point.

...She's good with people. ]

[wilee]

You can punch them. Punching them works.

[ but then she sighs because "punch it" is one of those things she's learned isn't always the best first option ]

Or feed them.

[meloncholy]

Feeding them seems like the better option. Punching's not worth the trouble - you have to bend down, for starters.

Action; yolo

[romantichero]

[ Porthos


No


He is not talking to the imps, giving them presents, making sacrifices, any of this!!

He is, however, after pacing angrily for much of the time you have been discussing things with this... thing... finally causally creeping over and peering over your shoulder.

Say. Nothing. ]

You'll tell me if you learn anything?

[meloncholy]

[Porthos cranes his neck to look over his shoulder and follow Aramis' pacing.]

You've heard everything that I've learned. [He has a funny feeling he's going to have to make amends on his behalf.]