2 ☼ video / open to both courts

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2 ☼ video / open to both courts

[ zuko is not going to tearbend. ]

[ he may have found toph's shard, tucked safely away where no one, not even reynard, would be able to steal it, and her metal bracelet, worn around his thin wrist, but he will not tearbend. he knows what it means. toph never abandons him, not even when he's annoyed her until she starts calling him sparky just to see him grit his teeth and steam pour from his ears. toph's the one thing in drabwurld that actually stayed — and it's his fault she's gone. even though it's completely and utterly irrational, guilt eats away at him for leaving her alone, believing his own treachery to the unseelie court would only require him to complete a personal quest to see to it his honour is restored. but toph's gone — save for her metal bracelet, the one he never really had seen her take off. had they stripped her of that before they'd taken her, too? he doesn't plan on keeping her bracelet, determined to give it back to her once he finds her again. but it's better to be worn on his person than to be left in his suite, the imps' feet running closer and closer to his door with each passing day he lingers in drabwurld — either at the station or in caer scima. ]

[ his expression is a permanent scowl. two imps can be seen running from him outside the castle of caer scima, their behinds burnt and some of their hair still caught aflame. they keep shouting we don't know where toph is!, but it only seems to make zuko angrier, hands balling into tight fists. in toph's honour, he sends a blast of fire along the grass, slithering quickly toward them like a serpent, to see to it they shriek and jump high into the air. ]

Toph's gone. The imps didn't take her, but I don't believe them.

[ he's not sure what to even believe anymore. he can barely believe in himself, and that's already a can of worms he's trying to shove the lid back on. ]

[ petulantly, he utters, ] Whatever. [ it's not like it matters; he doesn't even know if anyone outside of those in the unseelie even know toph. do they just think he's saying tough? she'd laugh at that; he grits his teeth. anyone would find their life was made ten times better just by her being around. they'd arrived in drabwurld together, they were meant to leave together. ]

[ it appears as though he's about to blast a tree, or even his own locket, held as though another is merely directing it, but he doesn't. much louder, ] I hate this place.

[ and he leans forward to grab his locket and tosses it as far as he can, shooting a thick burst of flame at it as the imp that had been recording him scampers away, its body seen blurred by the camera tumbling into darkness. ]

[ for anyone at caer scima, zuko's in the bailey, sitting against a willow tree, sulking. either he wears his frown, arms crossed against his chest, or he's looking at his locket, as if contemplating burning it until it's ash, even though it seems almost indestructible against his fire. if toph were here ... well, she's not. and he's not chasing any imps or playing practical jokes (nor is he going to the feast later today to do such a thing) on anyone because of that very reason. ]

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( Cassie can't say she knows what it's like to lose someone here. She's never had anyone to begin with. ) She might come back... You never know. ( she adds, quieter. ) Do you want some company?

[ zuko doesn't believe in optimism. he'd had it as a kid before it'd been ripped from his grasp several times by azula, and then, finally, with his mother's abandonment. does he believe toph will return? no. good things don't happen to once banished traitors. if he wants to find toph, he supposes he needs to send out a search party after her. but something tells him he won't be as successful as he allegedly is with his mother. ]

[ it's as though she's been taken from drabwurld for giving zuko too much hope for his future. he no longer looks at it as one with him locked in isolation with a crown on his head. instead, it's one he looks forward to, especially since it's a future surrounded by those who love him. ]

[ he's leaning against the willow tree. his locket, despite how charred it is, is in his hand for now. the desire to toss it to caer glaem is there, but zuko doesn't particularly want to when cassie's on the other side. she's someone he knows; she met toph, however briefly, when she'd tossed that boulder his way on drabwurld's network. ]

She won't. [ it's as simple as that; zuko's pessimism is bottled up in that one word. won't. it's not like it's toph's decision, as he knows she'd fight tooth and nail and win. but she won't be able to come back. they won't let her. ]

[ despite the bitterness that's clear in his expression and tone, zuko sighs and rubs a hand over his face. ] I'm not good company. [ ever, really. ]

( zuko just needs a cute blonde to nag at him incessantly about how the world could suck way more than it already does, really, be grateful that you actually have family still even if they're terrible?? uh...

cassie watches his demeanor carefully. she studies his movements, tries to get a feel for maybe whether or not she should approach him... gently. she thinks anyone should be approached gently in this situation. she was there for kieren when jem disappeared, but zuko and kieren are extremely different personalities. he's definitely less stable than kieren. and kieren is a goddamn zombie.

that says a lot to her about zuko.

and yet somehow she doesn't want to just leave him without comfort or someone to talk to or something. )

You don't know that. I'm sure plenty of people have disappeared and come back later.

( her eyebrows raise and she puckers her lips thoughtfully ) Right now, I wouldn't expect you to be. I'm the one who's offering to come make you feel better, not the other way around. You can act however you want.

[ zuko should be used to losing people. he'd lost his father when he'd been too young to remember what had first ignited the blue fire ozai wields toward him; he'd lost his mother in a memory that's still too startling for him to even believe it to be a mere dream, even if he had been on the cusp of consciousness and dreaming; he'd lost his sister sometime during her years of being groomed as ozai's pet; he'd lost mai, he'd lost ty lee, he'd even lost uncle (but uncle is very hard to lose — he may as well be considered not lost at all), but he'd lost himself for too many years. dealing with toph being gone, especially in a world as strange and dank as this one, pushes zuko closer to the edge. he's afraid, unlike uncle and mai, unlike even himself, she won't come back, just like father, just like mother, just like azula. even though he's adept in knowing what loss feels like, he isn't quite skilled in handling it; he always clings to people, despite knowing they'll be gone soon. ]

[ quietly, ] She shouldn't have disappeared in the first place. [ if she comes back, what does that mean? had it been her punishment for failing high-queen morla, just as his was to be successful in his own quest he believes he's already damned for? if she were meant to come back, she shouldn't have left at all. toph wouldn't have let herself go without dragging him along, kicking and screaming, or merely just following her as he would've. ]

[ zuko shoves a hand through his hair, sighing. she's sort of like ty lee, persistent, but where she'd offer to walk on her hands and giggle at him, pushing him further into his anger by simply being optimistic, it's ultimately katara she reminds him of. she'd sit beside him quietly as he sat through his anger, stewing, without touching him or even condemning him for not getting over it. she'd probably stay out there with him all day and well into the night, not once complaining about him wasting her time or being too lost within his own grief at losing a friend. ]

[ he thinks about saying no. it's so tempting to. pushing people away is easier than pulling them close; while zuko may have a habit of clinging to people as if that will stop them from leaving, he does tend to push those who wish to move closer further back so they don't get hurt by how hot he seems to run. he may not be fire, a constant flame burning, always warm, despite what colour it is, but he's more like lightning, crashing into the earth unexpectedly, even if the clouds aren't a stormy grey, but are white, with a clear blue sky overlooking the lands. but he doesn't project his voice when he says, ] I'm at the bailey.

( it's lucky for zuko that cassie doesn't know everything about him already. she would be constantly after him and trying to make sure he wasn't kicking himself for no reason. luckily for zuko, though, cassie is an annoyingly persistent teenage girl who isn't just going to give up on him because he's sad. nope. )

I know. But - ( she sighs. there is nothing she can say, at all, to make this better. there is nothing she can do for him. she watches him carefully, eyes full of concern, face drawn into a frown. he has a lot of really deeply rooted manpain. clearly. )

Give me like... Ten minutes. I'll come down. We can go for a walk or something. Okay?

[ the but is abandoned. zuko can't really predict what she'll say; he can't really predict what anyone would say when in this kind of situation. what do you say when someone's lost one of their closest friends? he hadn't heard any comforting words when his mother had left them. he'd been taunted by azula and loathed by ozai that he had felt her loss tenfold, that nurturing hand of hers no longer a ghostly fingerprint, but perhaps something he had made up altogether in his own imagination. sorry doesn't really cut it. and zuko doesn't wish to hear it, either. he's gone so long without needing to be comforted that he hadn't aspired to earn any when he had made this particular broadcast. ]

Okay. [ he'll be here, leaning against a willow tree, surrounded by what he thinks are shadows of grief. caer scima seems to be as dark as mourning; sometimes he wonders if they suffer a lot of loss in this part of drabwurld. but he doesn't make an effort to see to it he's comfortable, a gesture to perhaps give her confidence he'll remain where he is and not take off. but he does sit and open his palm out, a little flame sparking from the centre. that's the only gesture he'll give that he'll stay put. fire may have marred him, but it has always been his most trustworthy companion in his time of need. ]

( cassie doesn't take long to get herself presentable enough to feel that she is acceptable for public places. she doesn't take long to get to him, either. but when she rounds the last corner and looks across the twenty or so feet left before she gets to him, she slows. she looks at him, frowning, studying how he sits. he really isn't in a good place at all. he's in a lot of pain; that much is very evident. she sighs softly and trudges across the grass. she doesn't say anything at first, just walks over to him and sits down next to him. she tucks her knees up to her chest and loops her arms around them, then looks over at him. )

Hey.

[ she does remind him of katara. instead of trying a quip like sokka, or calling him out for his manpain like toph would, she just takes a quiet seat beside him. he remains leaning against the tree, staring out before him, as if the rocks on the opposite side of the garden may explode and reveal toph inside, laughing and pointing at him as she yells got you, sparky! but he knows toph lacks the patience for such a thing; she would've taken to exploding from the rock, or having him trip on the earth when he'd thrown his locket away from him as if it had burned him. ]

[ it's just a few moments before he looks toward her, head shifting against the tree. he remains still, an invisible rock sitting on his own chest. his long legs lie out before him, locket near his feet now. ]

[ she's prettier in person. ]

[ and also short. ]

[ he doesn't really want to say anything. but it isn't really fair she had come all that way to sit beside him and endure trying to make a rock bleed, or just a stubborn and angry boy say hi back. he'd warned her he'd be poor company, it falling on deaf ears. how long will it take before she picks herself up and walks away? ]

[ it's quiet, ] Hey.

( cassie studies him, quietly. he is a sort of anomaly. a strange creature, one who is fascinating, but dangerous in a way. still, he's like a flame, and she enjoys flames, plus he's doing this thing where she's moth-to-beaconing at him anyway. he's one of very few people she's actually managed to connect with here or not to feel awkward about and that means she should probably actually give a shit about him. so, she's showing that. because that's what people who give a shit do.

she's quiet for a second after their greeting. awkward. she looks around, purses her lips, tries to figure out if anything should be said. ~~do you wanna build a snowman?~~ words, however, fail her. they're overrated anyhow, aren't they? she does, however, reach a hand out and place it over his. her fingers curl and she squeezes lightly for a moment, before she draws back and folds her arms around her knees again.

maybe she could whip up something nice for him with magic. maybe. or maybe she could just sit. she has nowhere else to be, nobody else to spend time with, and she sees no reason why they have to do anything but exist. still. she worries. she wants to ask him how he's feeling, she wants to ask him if he'll be alright, if she can do anything. she opts to remain silent. as long as he needs, she supposes. )

[ her reaching for his hand is a gesture he doesn't expect. not many people take to touching him these days, aside from mai, even katara when she feels up to it. it's always a punch in the arm or even a piece of earth kicking him literally in the ass he receives from toph. but it's affection he hasn't quite been shown since ursa had left him. jin ruffling his hair months ago had been a sign of it, hadn't it? ]

[ he looks down at his hand, hers now wrapped around her knees. he can still feel her touch squeezing around his fingers as a source of comfort. uncle would always throw an arm around his shoulder or pat him on the back. it's an odd gesture to be given by someone who doesn't know him. he understands why she does it, having seen katara do the same for anyone within the group, even momo if he were to let her grasp his fingers. but he doesn't quite get why. ]

[ he's thankful she doesn't punch him in the shoulder, though. a boulder to the chest and even a fist to his arm is a sign of affection he doesn't think he can take, not without a short earthbender attached to it. ]

[ ripping grass from beside him, he fiddles with it absently between his fingers as he remains quiet, gaze settled on something far in the distance. he doesn't think to speak, nor even search for a conversation topic. he's not the conversationalist within his gang of friends — that's sokka. but he does find himself speaking softly without thinking, gaze downcast as his brows pinch together and guilt stomps on his chest as toph would her foot against the earth, ] It's probably wrong to miss her. [ in this place, he doesn't say. it's already a selfish thought to begin with. ]

( perhaps someday cassie will explain to him the simplicity behind how a gentle human touch at just the right moment can be healing. just the faintest reminder that someone else is with you, that you aren't alone. but today isn't that day. the timing is all wrong, in a lot of ways. another time.

her eyes fix on the grass beneath his fingers as he plucks it from the earth. he's a wreck, but he's managing not to succumb to it. cassie drops one of her hands to the grass and presses her hand firmly on the ground. flower, flower, flower. the patch where he'd been ripping up grass sprouts lilies, stems and buds and blooms all happening in a matter of moments. maybe it'll cheer him up. )

No it's not. Just because this place isn't the best doesn't mean it's wrong for you to feel like that about your friend. She's your friend. You miss her, not the fact that she was trapped.

[ but he misses her being trapped with him. isn't that just as bad? ]

[ it isn't as black and white as he wishes to see it as. in a way, zuko wishes to portray himself as the villain in this particular chapter, wishing for toph, a girl who has such an incredible future to reap the benefits of, back with him in this place of loneliness and isolation. he isn't good company; she flourishes in the presence of sokka, teasing katara, and messing around with aang. he's merely a dead weight for her, dragging her down when she only wishes to be soaring within the clouds on her rocks. ]

[ still, he wishes she was back. this place is a little less fun without her. ]

[ his voice is still quiet, but there's a hidden warmth in there, despite all the sadness he wishes to feel and cause him to remain mute. ] She gets to go back to her school. That's kind of cool. She's teaching these lilly livers how to metalbend. She's the only earthbender who knows how to! [ a fact he will never, ever stop sounding proud of. he'll mention it every time he gets, simply because toph isn't here to do so. ] I don't think I get to see her a lot. [ fire lord duties sort of take one way from their friends. ] It just … I ruined something for her back home. I wanted to make it up to her here.

[ she'd always wanted a life-changing field trip with him. though, he suspects he still would've let her down in that department, all things considered, she'd get more from what awaits for her at home than what lingers within the drabwurld, lost without her. ]

And eventually, you'll get to go back, and she'll still be there, too. It sucks that she's not here to keep you company, but you'll see her again. Seriously, there has to be an end to this at some point. ( she nudges him with her elbow, trying not to be too serious or too lighthearted. she just wants him to feel better. that would be best. )

What did you ruin for her? You really don't seem like you're that bad a guy...

[ he used to be the bad guy until he realised he was just a puppet for ozai to do his bidding. if she hadn't asked what he ruined for toph, he'd tell her he is the bad guy. still. the hardest person on zuko isn't his father but himself. ]

I ruined her life-changing field trip with me. [ he sighs it out. it'd embarrassed him silly she'd called it as much, stating his trips in assisting his newly found friends had been life-changing when he thought it was simply what someone who wished to atone would do. wouldn't anyone try and avenge katara's mother? wouldn't anyone try and use the knowledge only they have about the man who had thieved sokka and katara's mother from them? wouldn't anyone break into a high security prison situated on a volcanic island to save their friend's father? wouldn't anyone purposefully get themselves thrown into a freezer if only to unscrew it so they could sail upon hot waters to the shore? wouldn't anyone try and teach their friend the true art of firebending by dancing like an idiot with some dragons? ]

[ he thinks the answer is pretty obvious. ]

She never told me if she ever got it with ... future me. [ but he hopes she does — even though he doesn't really believe anything with him is life-changing. if anything, he experienced life-changing field trips with them. ] I guess she didn't. She would've rubbed it in my face if she did. She's annoying like that.

( cassie isn't sure how one person can single-handedly ruin a "life changing fieldtrip" if it was specifically for the two of them anyway, but... zuko, she has determined, is always a glass-half-empty type, self-deprecating and not in a funny way. what must he have been through to think so little of himself? )

How?

( she wrinkles her nose, because if he's talking about at home... how can he know that? he talks about future him, and about future toph, and their future plans. but those are things that haven't happened, things he can probably still change. it's a reasonable assumption that he could. ) Maybe she just hasn't lived it yet, Zuko. Maybe it's her future still, too. You can't always assume the worst.

[ zuko can only assume how he did. it's a quiet and self-deprecating confession, ] I didn't change her life. [ hence the title of life-changing field trip. it's all toph's doing, naming hanging out with him and almost dying or being imprisoned for the rest of his life as a life-changing field trip people go on, like they're going to ember island for a holiday. it puts too much pressure on him, but he supposes it's only fair. he did burn her feet. ]

But she was ahead of me! [ which sounds weird to him, but he thinks very little of it right now. ] I'm Fire Lord. A proper one. [ or one that has been in power for more than a few days where he fumbled with even that title. but his hands remain clenched in front of him, best to be before him than in his hair. ] There's going to be less time for me to make it up to her.

( there are so many things about zuko's demeanor that bother cassie. she could grab him by the shoulders and shake him, but that wouldn't solve anything. "I didn't change her life". her face screws into some incomprehensible mixup of confusion and distaste. she may not know him well, but she's getting to the point where she knows enough on the fringes that she can say for a fact that he's the type of person who changes someone's life simply by being in it. she doesn't interrupt, and she lets him complete the rest of his thoughts as she forms her own reply. )

But you did. ( she purses her lips quietly for a moment or two, trying to decide how she wants to elaborate. does she wax poetic about how everyone in a person's life has changed it? no, that would make him feel insignificant. instead, she'll focus on the details she knows about him specifically. ) You're a Fire Lord. That means you did something in your life that changed everything, right? So it stands to reason that you changed her life, too. Besides. Even if you weren't, you're not the type of person who meets someone and doesn't change their life, just by existing.

[ truth be told, he doesn't think it's very fair he's had this placed on his shoulders. i want a life-changing field trip with zuko! the trips he'd went on with the individual components that make team avatar work had just been trips — it'd been the right thing to do, helping aang learn the origin and meaning of firebending (as he learned a thing or two he hadn't ever dreamed of, too) and going with katara to gain revenge for her mother, but, in truth, he'd learned that vengeance wasn't the right answer, nor was violence, as forgiveness was a lot stronger than an eye for an eye, and rescuing suki and sokka's father had been the right thing to do. he'd learned he wasn't as alone as he thought himself to be — and he had only been proven right about mai being better than anyone else he knew with how she had defended him when he truly gave her no reason to. ]

[ but did he really do something to change everything? he was heir to the throne, the firstborn — but why ozai hadn't tossed him from the line of succession when he felt such contempt for him was beyond zuko. still, he hasn't spent as much time with toph, despite always seeming to sidle up near her more than the others. with his hand carding through his hair, he isn't so sure if he agrees. how can he change another's life by existing? he'd been lucky to be born — anyone who met azula was lucky to survive her. ]

[ with his head bowed, his voice is quiet, ] It'd just be nice if she was here. It'd be nice if they all were.

( she watches the way he cycles through his different thoughts, and his feelings. she sees him now as a puzzle, as someone she wants to learn and figure out. he's complicated; there's no question there. she wonders what they might have in common. the defeated sadness that overtakes him toward the end tugs at her heartstrings. cassie reaches over and places a hand on his shoulder gently. her voice is just as soft as the touch. )

I know. And I know what that's like. I'm sorry.

( and what else can she say? what else can she do but sit beside him until he's ready to move on to the next thing, to pick himself up and get on with things? she really can't. they've talked all they can talk, she thinks. she drops her hand and folds her arms around herself. maybe just knowing someone's there will be enough for him, for now. )

[ where it may be expected he'd glance at her hand on his shoulder, he doesn't. his head simply remains bowed. losing people isn't new for him, but being able to properly mourn for them, to even be given the chance to talk about them, is. he hadn't ever had the opportunity to do so when he believed his mother to abandon him, dying sometime throughout the years as he never understood why she never came back for him. keeping it locked within himself, the sadness has only morphed into anger, short-tempered and hot, as he often takes to pushing too many people away as he fears losing them. ]

[ a part of him feels as though he should've held onto toph harder. but he knows loss is inevitable. people always leave him, but whether or not they come back has always been up to them. ]

[ it's enough for now; he finds he doesn't have anything more to say, destructive or mournful, as he simply leans against the tree and stays quiet. ]

( cassie doesn't try to speak anymore. she doesn't try to do anything but exist near him, as a source of comfort. the day wanes, as days are wont to do, but she remains until he is finished and ready to part ways. the last thing a person in his position needs is to feel a further accented loneliness by being completely isolated. she's been there. but when the time comes, she retires to her room without fuss. she'll check on him again soon. )

[ oh hey it's that guy. talking about -- that girl (that was a girl, right?)

buffy frowns. she didn't really take the chance to get to know the fellow. but it sounded like things had gone from bad to worse for him since she'd abandoned the raonil group and slinked off to the station. she huffs. ] Y-yeah. I wouldn't believe them either.

[ the imps. nope. buffy is here to reinforce your paranoia! ]

[ even if everyone's to tell him during his stay in drabwurld that the imps are harmless, zuko won't believe them. hadn't they been the creatures that'd dragged him here in the first place? they're not harmless; they're just attack dogs that are ugly and easy targets. ]

[ but he remembers buffy more as the girl who would never be able to survive banishment for three long years and as spike's friend from home. she talks faster than ty lee; he never thought he'd meet anyone who could outrun an acrobat mouth-wise. at least she's still here. maybe morla won't request she be stolen from the world like toph was. ]

[ but rather than throw another fit, zuko's hand cards through his hair, ] They're always lying! [ which is a lie. the imps, unfortunately, are not azula. ] How else are people meant to leave? They brought us here.

I mean. You're right. It's mondo suspicious. They clearly have the power -- and I've never known any portal to be truly one way.

[ well okay so maybe there was that one time... ]

[ korra knows what it's like to lose someone here, to find their shard where it shouldn't be, to know there's possibly no hope of seeing them again for a long, long time. in one manner it's a good thing because it means the balance of the world back home is being restored — but korra was only just starting to get to know aang.

she would have liked to know him better. ]

They didn't take her. [ and she wishes she could do something more for him, something to reassure him that this is a good thing. truthfully, korra's not even sure of that much. no one seems to know what happens when people go missing from the drabwurld which makes korra a lot more uneasy than she knows she has any right to be.

it seems silly to ask if zuko's okay because he's obviously not, and korra watches the feed for a few moments more before she lets out a sigh. ] The offer to come with us is still open.

Who did? [ but he doubts she knows the answer. if she did, she'd tell him right off the bat who to hunt down and burn until toph was brought back into this particular world. it doesn't hurt to ask, though. he needs a direction to channel his anger, and since he doesn't particularly want to take to a mirror right now, he needs to blame someone else. ]

[ as quickly as the anger flares up, it simmers right back down. it's an offer he hadn't really thought about when toph had disappeared. all he could think of was trying to find her. was she hidden in a rock? was she beneath the earth, creating a tunnel for them to travel through? he sighs, defeated, ] I'm not good company. [ he is when toph's around; she has a knack for making him laugh at himself. she'd also disperse any tension he created by being too angry to properly exist. without her, he's just alone. ]

[ or safe company. as he's unseelie, travelling with seelie folk would only damn them to the same fate he has to bear until he can somehow appease high queen morla. maybe she's been taken for his treason; maybe she'd been taken for her own. it's all too up in the air and his imagination is running as rampant as sokka's on a good meat day. she'd dispersed his worries as if they were air molecules, but they've returned to cling to him tightly and stubbornly; he doesn't want any of them to suffer because of him simply tagging along. ]

[ it's true, and korra turns her eyes away for a moment. ]

I don't know. But — ... It's possible she was just sent home.

[ there are statues of her in republic city; there are tales of what she did for the police. how she got it all started. lin bei fong. metalbenders. she can't be lost to the universes because korra knows toph did a lot of amazing things in the city, just like aang. ]

[ but she doesn't give up hope. not with zuko. if there's one thing to be said about korra is that she is doggedly determined to see things through, and if that means forcing herself into zuko's personal space to befriend him and drive him crazy with herself and her own assorted pack of crazies.

yeah, being around zuko would make keeping the avatar thing a secret a lot more difficult, but he's going to find out at some point. maybe by getting to know her he'll be more ready to accept it...

she still remembers the fear in aang's eyes when she mentioned it before. she almost lost the chance to be his friend. she has to do better here. ]

Says you. [ mm'hm, just gonna turn that right back around on him there. ] But I don't really wanna leave you to just sulk and burn more imps alone. [ she offers him a small, gentle smile. ] C'mon, Hotman. Let's get into some trouble.

[ it's unfair of him to ask korra why he hadn't been sent back, too. it's a question he has to leave for those who had ordered both him and toph to be captured and brought here to fight a war when they're already spent and exhausted on having ended their own. but he wants to know so desperately as to why she'd been taken and he's left to linger. she's a little more useful than him; the earth makes up all of drabwurld, while fire can only destroy it. ]

[ contrary to everything toph's told him about himself, he still doesn't know what she's going home to. she has her school, and her lilly livers, but he doesn't know anything. he's the fire lord, leaving his (good) footprint upon the world, rebuilding his life and his family in the manner he wants to. but he hadn't thought to ask toph about herself — of her parents, of her school, if she's still the blind bandit in underground matches. toph going home brings him very little comfort. but at least she's safe from the beings who wish to hurt them here. ]

[ at least she's with their friends. that's all that counts. ]

[ but he finds that one still lingers, even if unintentionally. ]

[ it's instinct to shout: ] Stop calling me that! [ but then he realises it misses the sifu and the tiny boy attached to it, innocently calling him sifu hotman as though it's a title worthy of respect. pressing the heel of his palm to his forehead, he tries to shift the anger of missing aang, too, away. ] I'm sorry. I'm just ... [ missing my friends today. he'd prefer to sulk, but zuko doesn't particularly want to linger in caer scima, alone. he may not have been as alone as he had thought for three long years, but it's that quiet company he craves now. perhaps korra and her friends are capable of giving it to him. ]

[ he sighs, relenting. ] Fine. But I'm burning any imps who follow us. [ toph would bury them beneath the ground; it's only fair he continues their tradition. ]

[ where it's instinct to shout, it's instinct for korra to raise her eyebrows and return the favor — but she wisely bites her tongue.

perhaps she should be doing less of that. even if she can't share the true fact about who she is, that doesn't mean she has to keep the whole future of their world under wraps, does it? what if tenzin showed up? or lin? what about jinora? that could bring everything crashing down on zuko's head and he's got it bad enough as it is, alone now in his court and far across the map. it would be better to ease him into the idea, she thinks, even if that means waiting to tell him things at just the right moment.

she wants to say something to bring him comfort, but maybe once they're face to face. it feels impersonal saying it over the lockets. ]

Sounds like a good idea to me. [ there's an urge for her to say "and i'll bury them" but without mentioning her earthbending, there's little reason to give into the urge, so she lets it go. ] If you want, I can meet you in the Station in a couple days, bring you here?

[ he sincerely doubts it sounds like a good idea to her. hadn't she been against him antagonising the imps? everyone in drabwurld seems to be. but he appreciates her not scolding him all the same. uncle would probably reprimand him and say imps were people, too, and probably enjoyed a good cup of tea if the offer to brew it was given. ]

Isn't that out of your way? [ he feels guilty at the thought. people going out of their way for him is a hard fire flake to swallow sometimes. he's so used to doing things himself, even if there happened to be guards who would've fetched him a fruit tart with petals on top. but when it really counted, he had no one to depend on but himself. ] I have a boon. [ albeit, temporary, and, if he's not smart, the last he'll ever receive. ] It can take me to Caer Glaem quicker than a sky bison. [ in a blink of an eye, apparently. zuko had used it to get both he and toph from the station to caer scima, but he still doesn't quite believe in it. it's the magic cassie's always talking about, the bending that doesn't make any sense to him. not even aang can teleport using the air molecules to somehow make him disappear. ]

[ that was then, this is now. while korra's not exactly changeable like her native element would suggest, she understands needing to work out frustrations when they arise. besides, imps are nasty little buggers and korra's probably burned a couple of them on her own time when she was over in the unseelie land.

and yeah, sure, it's out of her way but you know what, appa enjoys the time he gets to spend outside flying around. he sleeps in the open bailey sometimes because korra will absolutely not keep the poor thing cooped up in a barn stall if she can help it. unless it's raining. then appa gets to stay clean and dry.

she perks up at the mention of a boon (her own tucked safely inside one of her pouches), her eyebrows lifting in curiosity. ] Oh hey, that's great! [ not that she would have had a problem flying out, but this is so much easier. ] Yeah, if you want to use that to get here, that's fine too!

[ even though he doesn't know caer glaem (or even caer scima), he feels a little better at knowing he's not putting her out by coming to fetch him from a neutral location. what if she ends up in trouble for escorting an unseelie into seelie territory when she's not taking him in as a prisoner? he can't fathom to think of his presence getting korra, mako, or even bolin, into trouble, only because they were trying to be ... ]

[ he guesses they're trying to be friendly. katara would do the same thing for him, be met with the same walls, his feet refusing to lift from the ground, even if toph were to bend it out from beneath him. maybe that's why he reacts the way he does, not completely shutting himself off or refusing to take up her offer. ]

[ despite drabwurld not being home, and the monarchs being unlike ozai, he still doesn't want them to get into trouble because of him. he'd put sokka, suki, and his father in danger at the boiling rock by stupidly leaving mai a letter and forgetting her uncle happened to be the warden of the prison he was breaking into. it's dumb paranoia that drives him now; without the reason for why toph's gone being anywhere close to being unearthed, all he can do is believe it had been because of their actions two months ago. ]

It'd probably be safer. [ for her, at least. if the fairies, or any other creature, happened to spy her taking him in ... ] I can meet you somewhere. Wherever. I don't know the place so I don't really care where.

[ there's reason enough for anyone to be uneasy about the prospect of spending time on the "other side," but the only thing that korra can offer up as evidence to support the fact that zuko would be in safe hands within the walls of caer glaem is, well... the fact that the seelie haven't gone on a rampage to claim plots and plots of land for themselves.

the more she thinks on it, however, the more she starts to feel that maybe they should. especially if she wants to bring an end to this war. this world is completely out of balance and she should do her best to usher it into an age of peace.

korra presses her lips together in thought, pulling out her map. did zuko mean... outside the castle, or off the property? if she brought him in from off territory she could always claim zuko was a prisoner to keep the guards from asking too many questions, make a seemingly "false" claim of being the avatar and this being her world's problem and not something she was willing to drag the monarchs into... ]

I'll meet you outside the castle gates? [ actually, now that she thinks about it— ] How does your boon work? Is it like the fairy rings, or what?

[ that should be easy enough to locate, right? gates. they're big, they guard a kingdom, and they're pearly, sometimes. he doesn't know if caer glaem looks anything like caer scima, but he can only assume they may have a few similarities. it's probably best; the castle gates are easy enough. ]

[ but as for how his boon works, he doesn't think he'll ever really understand it. bending is all he really knows; how can anyone be a ring bender? a token bender? the little token he has holds so much power, yet, it's just a token. it's kind of like his ring, it being able to leech the energy from sozin's comet and somehow seep into his skin to see his own bending amplified. he's beginning to learn tiny little objects hold great power in this world. ]

[ his mouth hangs open, uncertain, drawing out: ] Uh. [ he doesn't really know? ] Magic? [ he sounds so convincing. ] It's a small token. I thought about coming back here and ... we were here. [ he also clicked his heels and chanted there's no place like home three times. ]

[ He only spends an hour or so at the feast before making himself scarce, unnerved by the fairy folk and their strange friends and lured into a quiet alcove to investigate the magical locket. Hiccup is filled with the urge to talk to Toothless but he hasn't got his companion with him and the sheer loneliness is horribly overwhelming, so when he views something on the locket that loosely parodies his own (grief, loss, anger) mood, he takes himself down into the large bailey to look for the scarred one, skin of mead in-hand. His pegleg makes no sound, for once, as he crosses off the path and onto the grassy lawn as the figure is espied at the base of a large, mournful-looking tree. It's hardly a stealthy approach despite being six-foot and he comes to a halt within a respectable distance; the glare fixed on the locket in the other man's hands speaks volumes.

He suddenly feels very, very tired, surrounded by massive old trees that make him feel reedy and fifteen again. It's already turned into a long night. The open air makes his voice seem very small to his own ears. ]

You looked like you might be out here a while when I saw you over the ... pictures, the ones in the lockets.

[ And I don't know what else I'm supposed to do with myself. I'm probably in shock, isn't that just great. Fully aware he sounds oblivious to however the mechanics work with the fairy trinket, Hiccup offers the pouch, unable to hand it over unless the other man invites him to move closer and do so. He shrugs. ]

It's just mead, if you're thirsty.

Edited (repeating words why self) 2014-10-01 02:26 (UTC)

[ mead. tea. isn't it all the same thing? uncle may pout and shed a tear over the fact that the pouch contains no tea, but he wouldn't turn back a companion over his choice of drink. a good drinking partner is one who makes the conversation easy, the spirits light, and perhaps the tea will be tasted on his tongue, even if it's mead instead. it's easier for zuko to say no to things — no, he doesn't want to listen; no, he doesn't want to fight; no, he doesn't want any company. but the three long years he'd spent in uncle's company, and in his own, has taught him that no is sometimes the wrong answer, even if it feels right. letting his anger and grief dictate his movements will see to him burning right up again. ]

[ and he is a little thirsty from all that bending and anger. but he doesn't take to the man before him because of his offer. it's uncle's voice in his head, making little to no sense, that sees to the fire within him simmering down. it's not a please, sit, but it's an unspoken one, if he wishes to hear it in his movements or even his willingness to engage. ]

[ he's been here two months and he still doesn't understand the lockets. he looks down at his belatedly, before tossing it to the side, as though it's merely a rock. ] I don't want to be out here at all. [ it sounds sulky — and it is — but it's the truth. he doesn't want to be here, not in drabwurld, not without mai or uncle or katara, aang, sokka, and toph. if ty lee were here, he'd be happy. but he's not; he's never happy, and maybe that's finally becoming a problem. ]

[ nodding toward the little pouch, ] Did you get that from the feast? [ since he had had plans to scavenge through everything, stealing with toph as they prepared for their own little mission with the future kids from seelie. but that's now null and void. ]

[ If Zuko expects mead to taste the same as tea, he's going to have an interesting evening. It's rather strong, not exactly the stuff a Berkian would sniff at but neither did it make his eyes want to shrivel up and die when he took a whiff, so Hiccup finds it passable. ]

I know, I think.

[ He has to seriously doubt anyone wants to be here, in the aelfen realm. (It's not a wise decision, according to Gothi, to even eat or drink with the creatures in such a place, but then again Hiccup has to also doubt the village elder has ever been kidnapped and exalted in one afternoon.) The locket being cast aside gets a glance, but no more. The guy before him is about the same age as Gustav, although far more sulky than Snotlout's teenage relative.

Hiccup tips the pouch, taking steps to put him near enough to hand it over at last. ]

Yeah. I doubt anyone'll miss it, they'll all be drunk off their faces in no time. I'm sort of hungry but I can't eat tonight. [ On this, his first night here. ] So, drinking it is.

[ zuko takes it, only because it's the polite thing to do. he doesn't think he's ever had mead before. uncle's never really had it, so he's never truly been exposed to it, despite how many taverns they've been to. but he doesn't drink from it, taking a moment to look at it. ]

[ at least the not-so-quiet whispers he's heard of new arrivals weren't lies. zuko thinks he should be there, in case anyone from his time and his home happen to be at the feast, alone and confused by their new surroundings — and annoyed by the imps. but he can't bring himself to go back to the place where he had first found toph. he knows he'd look for her, to see if she's around to prank sokka or scare katara or even protect him from the wrath of mai. ]

[ the impression he gets from his newfound companion isn't one that he's brand new, still shiny from being plucked from his own home. zuko's hungry, but he knows he'd only burn his food to charcoal or pick at it. ]

The food's good. [ if a little weird. ] I think they only have feasts every two months. You might have a friend there.

[ Hiccup wanders to one of the low-slung branches of the willow, idly turning over a leaf in his fingers without plucking it. It gives him something to do with his hands, now they're empty. ]

The only person I was with when they brought me here will be able to root me out no matter where I go, he knows my scent. Anyway, I'm not really in the mood for big social hoo-hahs, I'm just taking some time to myself.

[ His hand drops to his side as he gives the scarred one a look of open interest. ]

What about your friend, the one you can't find? Won't she be there?

[ Toph gone, check. Sad angry Fire Lord, check. More endangered imps than the last time he was on the network, checkaroo.

Feels bad, bro.

Not that he can say he knows the exact feeling. Just what he figures it'd be like if Korra or Mako up and vanished-vanished, a little of what it's been like to worry about them for numerous reasons since he got here. Which maybe isn't much. And he guesses he can't really offer to hug him over a locket either?? A lot of his go-tos are really out of the picture. Feeling a little done with the Drabwurld is something he can totally relate to, at least. ]

I'm sorry. [ do u want a toph monument somewhere he'll earthbend the heck out of it. ] Can't really say this place goes light on the punches, huh?

[ yes, he'd like one very much. it'd be great if it could point and laugh and bend boulders at him, too. ]

[ he's barely registering that the guys from the future have lost her, too. he doesn't know how big of an impact she really has, aside from being capable of getting a group of three young benders excited at her appearance, but he doesn't know anything about future toph. he doesn't know anything about the girl who happened to be sixteen, or even the woman she becomes in the future these guys are from. they've lost her, too, but it frustrates him to not know by how much. he can't even find her footprint in the earth; it was like she had never been here. ]

No. [ he's such a pouter. drabwurld has winded him and he's not even sure aang could breathe the air back into his lungs. ] It doesn't. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now!

Well right now, right now, I'd actually say just find some noodles. But they have to be really good noodles. Or whatever you like eating. And get a new pair of socks. And then maybe sleep on it if you can? Just any kind of general comfort stuff you might be into. Last time stuff got really heavy around here, that did me a lot of favors. [ More than he'd thought, actually. Pleasant surprises are the best kind of surprises. ]

And definitely, definitely listen to Korra, because we'd be happy to have you. [ js ] But all the existential big-picture stuff is way harder to figure out. I don't think I know anyone who knows what they're supposed to be doing with all this, exactly. You know, if that helps at all.

[ bolin definitely reminds zuko of sokka. but where bolin says socks and noodles, sokka would say meat and more meat! how he's meant to wear meat on his feet, he has no clue. ]

[ but the sentiment isn't lost on him — listening to korra or his suggestion to eat noodles, buy some socks, and sleep on it. he still feels like a bit of a burden if he were to come to caer glaem, possibly endangering the trio by simply being on territory that shouldn't welcome him, but they seem to not understand the definition of no. ] I should distract myself.

[ but how? he angsts over food. he angsts when he puts socks on. he even angsts when he sleeps — if he can sleep! how is he meant to turn his mind off when all it wants to do is burn drabwurld to the ground so he'll be sent home? ]

I'll ... try to find noodles. [ he's not really sure about the socks. ] What flavour do you suggest?

[ Socks are important, okay. Also I like how he's giving Zuko all this advice about being sad when he's just gonna be sad and fuck off to the woods himself later. Quality. ]

Distraction, exactly! Flavor kind of depends on what you like, though, I guess. Like, I'll usually go in for whatever smells spiciest? But then sometimes maybe you just really need some seaweed noodles or something. They definitely don't have anything with pig-chickens around here, though, so be careful with that.

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action. i think this is a good stopping point for this one, 90 years later?

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