Video - Seelie/Unseelie

[teenyoda]

[Stiles hasn't used the lockets until today, a day spent flicking mostly through the posts and seeing how to actually work this thing and, oh, okay. Like that. It was like a weird magical phone set to Skype. Okay. He could do that.

Smile into the camera, Stiles.]

Hey there, uh, fairy people. And non-fairy people. And, uh, the draconically inclined. Or furry. I don't... just... hi. So, in light of the whole worm thing, which by the way, eww, I have a question. Since there seem to be a lot of, um, not exactly human people around and ones who have skills with like, swords and magic and stuff, ah, what... hypothetically speaking, would someone who was just a regular, normal, average human be able to do here? You know, besides hiding under tables and throwing rocks ineffectively?

[This was a very important question, Drabwurld. He wasn't a werewolf or a wizard or witch or... any of the multitude of people here that he'd run into. His coordination was subpar and, well, he didn't really have any skills that included cutting the heads off of giant worms or not getting eaten by dragons if they felt the need.]

Just, ah, I guess just reply here, if you want. Or leave a message if you're looking at it later. 'Kay. Uh, thanks.

Comments

[teenyoda]

Maybe? A bummer is kind of something that makes you sad. Something that sucks is something that's bad or isn't done really well. Like, you could have a sucky pizza. Burned, bad toppings, tastes like crap. It sucks. And that's a bummer.

[steeledskin]

[ are you ready for round two? 'cause... ]

Pizza?

[teenyoda]

...

[Goddammit.]

It's a food. A really, really tasty food that I probably can't get here.

[steeledskin]

...Is it very had to acquire? Is it rare?

[teenyoda]

Rare? No... not even a little. It's just...

You can't make pizza in elfland.

[You probably could, but he didn't know how.]

[steeledskin]

Have you asked? [ because she'd thought there were no lemon cakes (tragedy!) but then certain inquiries had been made, and her heart had been reassured. lemon cakes did exist exist in -- ah -- elfland. ]

[teenyoda]

No.

[Because he seriously doubted there was a delivery for faezza. Pixie Pizza, glitter non-optional.]

It's not exactly something that became popular until the last century where I came from. This place is... way, way behind that.

[steeledskin]

-- It does not seem so slow or behind in the times. But...perhaps that's my problem. Not yours.

[teenyoda]

You guys have planes? Movie theaters? Microwaves? Electricity?

[steeledskin]

I'm sorry -- [ she stammers. ] None of those things. Well -- I think there are plains somewhere in the south.

[teenyoda]

[Yes, he noticed the stammering.]

Look, uh... I'm not trying to bite your head off or anything. I'm literally like the least dangerous person in existence. Don't... do that.

[It made him feel like she thought he was going to hurt her or something and it had his stomach twisting uncomfortably.]

[steeledskin]

[ but aren't those who claim to be the least dangerous usually amidst those she should be most wary of?

so what can she do except apologize once again: ] I'm sorry. [ she sucks in a breath. ] It's only that I'm a little overwhelmed.

[teenyoda]

[Oh, you sweet summer child. If only you knew.]

Yeah, well, that can happen when you're kidnapped and dragged off to fairy land. Seriously. It's no biggie.

[steeledskin]

...Is that what we've decided to call it? Fairy land?

[ oh, it will be a long long time before she manages to catch on to futuristic wry humour. ]

[teenyoda]

Um, no? Maybe? I don't know. Pixieville? Elftown? Land of the sparkly sparkles.

[steeledskin]

Drabwurld. [ she gives the correction very softly; after all, she's read it in the books. ]

[teenyoda]

Drabwurld? That's so.... boring. And drab. Haha. Get it?

[steeledskin]

[ to someone's credit (probably hers, because that joke was dreadful) sansa offers a thin desultory sort of chuckle. ]

And it has been anything but boring, so far. Hasn't it?

[teenyoda]

Okay, point. But hey, names are part of how you look at things, right? It should have some kind of sparkly sparkleton name or something. Pizzazville.

[steeledskin]

You...really like pizza, don't you?

[ it's about the closest she's come to some kind of truth, here. ]

[teenyoda]

Um, yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty fond of pizza. I pretty much like all the modern conveniences that I don't have here anymore.

[steeledskin]

I'm sorry the keep is not to your liking. To me it seems a very comfortable place.

[teenyoda]

Hey, I'm not saying it's a shi-- it's bad or anything. It's just... not what I'm used to. And it's not home, so you know, double suck.

[steeledskin]

[ a light hum. she recognizes his belated attempts to censor himself, and she appreciates them. but to thank him outright would only draw attention to what he's doing, so she decides to simply be kinder instead: ] I imagine a great many of us are missing our homes. It must be doubly difficult for you, if this place is truly so unlike what you're used to.

[ genuine sympathy, however carefully wrapped. ]

[teenyoda]

If there aren't toilets here, I think I'm going to have to just throw myself off a cliff.

[Portapotties were not his favorite and indoor plumbing had been something he was hoping not to be without. Please don't make him pee in a stinky hole.]