eachdraidh | video; unseelie only

Alright, let's get a couple facts straight.

1st -> Fuck the Seelie. Yeah, which one of you asses are going to argue with me about that? It'll be a quick trip to the dungeons for you, King Louis XVI. That's spelled L-o-u-i-s but pronounced in a dumb frog way. Don't get me started.

2nd -> Get your ass over to Archer Point Military Academy. Seriously, learn how to be a good soldier. Girls love soldiers which means you can get some serious bed action as long as you follow what I say.

3rd -> Don't disrespect Darth Wark. He's my chocobro and I will let him remove you from existence if you do. Bros before does, right? [Yes, there is a loud WARK off the screen.] Are girl chocobos called does by the way? I don't even know. Quick, someone find me a bird expert!

4th -> All hot women drink for free here. Considering there is an extreme lack of unhot women using these things, I'm pretty sure that means all of you. Using my bed while I'm in it is also free, hint hint. Psst, that means I'd bang you.

What else am I missing? Fill me in.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's never happened. [ Just wait until he finds out she's twenty-one years old now. ]

If it was fatal, I would have lost my shard for starters and I somehow still have it.

Do you not know what a colloquialism is? Or have you seriously not watched that movie? Knowing you, probably both.

Don't question my intellect where everyone can see. It'll end disastrously for you.

The last time I watched a movie was in 1999? I might have watched something after that, but didn't pay it much attention. Going to the cinemas after school was both a waste of time and money so I eventually just turned down all the invitations from my peers.

Yeah, I'm sure. Says the girl who probably doesn't even have a chocobo. Seriously, get with the times. Having one is smart. Not having one is Rin. See the difference?

And it came out in 1989, you have zero excuse!

I don't need a chocobo when I have an adar llwch gwin. [ If she knew anything about owning someone, that may have been the time she would utter such a phrase. ]

I was a toddler then. I don't think watching a movie titled 'Fatal Attraction' was age appropriate.

Says the girl who was probably binge reading Playboy and Playgirl at that age.

I don't understand your reference.

[ She's from Japan. Titties and dicks are probably the norm. ]

I get that a lot here. Whatever. Because I totally was reading Playboy at that age.

Is it an educational children's magazine? One for boys, one for girls?

They don't sound familiar, but I was raised in Japan.

Oh my god. They're soft core porn magazines!!

... your parents allowed you to read soft core porn magazines when you were a child?

[ It's not that strange for her, but it's odd he would just be so open about it. Honor your parents better, Archer. ]

You clearly have never met mother.

[God forbid the day she does.]

You shouldn't speak poorly of your parents where everyone can see.

[ It'll be the end of times. ]

I have a shitty mother.

Want me to walk outside my spire and scream it? Because I will.

Would there be any point to doing so?

Since you own an academy now somehow you shouldn't go around exposing your weaknesses. If your mother were to arrive, she could end up becoming your possible enemy.

What would she even do to me? Spread embarrassing stories that I'm not even ashamed of? Bring it on.

Expose you to enemies who could do something to you. Aren't you afraid at all about your backstory? If you're allergic to something as simple as wasp stings or medicine, a mother could easily be persuaded into giving that up if manipulated.

I'm bothered that you're not worried about this in the slightest!

[LOUD LAUGHTER INTENSIFIES.]

What are they going to do? Take away all the alcohol in the world? Because not having it is like, my kryptonite. Which I could just make my own. This isn't rocket science. The world's greatest secret agent doesn't have secret weaknesses.

Really? [ Something about this seems profitable. ]

What would you give me if I uncovered a secret weakness of yours?

The D.

[ The Americans refer to their money as dollars so yes! This is something she really wants. ]

All right.

If I expose a weakness of yours, you have to give me as much of the D as I want!

Which is hopefully going to be a lot, right?

That's right.

[ Ufufu. ] I'll take every last bit.

Good luck with that. You're fighting against a never ending supply here.

[ Wow, she had no idea he was that successful in business. It doesn't pay to underestimate anyone and while she thought he had a good idea on how to fortify his spire, it seems he also picked up a few additional resources elsewhere. What a perfect man. ]

Really? I have a few ideas I'd like to lay out in front of you sometime.

video;

tacticalturtleneck - 2015-05-05 17:43 (UTC) - Expand

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