sam ❝ CAP HELP IT HURTS ❞ wilson. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
falconkick) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
eachdraidh2015-02-17 12:04 pm
falconkick) wrote in eachdraidh2015-02-17 12:04 pm
Entry tags:
- arno dorian: assassin's creed,
- billy kaplan: marvel 616,
- bolin: avatar,
- bucky barnes: mcu,
- cullen rutherford: dragon age,
- dave stutler: the sorcerer's apprentice,
- dorian gray: codg,
- elizabeth of york: the white queen,
- howard stark: mcu,
- jack benjamin: kings,
- jason todd: dc comics,
- john "reaper" grimm: doom,
- johnny storm: fantastic four,
- junpei iori: persona 3,
- korra: avatar,
- muscovy: axis powers hetalia,
- nabooru: the legend of zelda,
- natasha romanoff: mcu,
- sam wilson: mcu,
- sansa stark: asoiaf,
- shijima kurookano: nabari no ou,
- snow white: once upon a time,
- the outsider: dishonored,
- wan: avatar,
- yoshiya kiryu: twewy
oo1 ⊕ video ⊕ both courts
Hey, uh. Network. My name's Sam, for those of you I haven't gotten the chance to meet yet.
[ a small smile and a lift of his chin that both say he might genuinely like that chance to meet everyone everywhere at some point. but he's here with something serious today, so he moves right along. ]
I wanted to tell y'all something I like to keep in mind from day to day, but especially on days like the last dozen or so. I'm retired military - Air National Guard pararescue, for any of you that are familiar - but I enlisted a long time ago. Don't ask for a number, a man's gotta keep some secrets.
[ feelin' your age, wilson? his cheeky smile is short lived. ]
When I went to basic, I wasn't exactly itching for a fight, so I wasn't with the other greenies that were disappointed when we started with folding our own bed sheets. My ma raised me right, and the first time I picked up a gun, it was with all due respect to the power they were putting in my hands. I didn't wanna let all that go to my head and forget the responsibility that comes with carrying arms.
[ he purses his lips for a quiet beat, inhales shortly before continuing. ]
Wish I could say the same for the first time I shot a man. My country went to war right after I was accepted into the PJs, and when it was down to me or him, I chose him. Just - [ he makes a small pew gunshot sound, glum; ] - and that was that. I wasn't scared and I didn't feel guilty about it - and that was what stuck with me. I asked my unit, my CO, anyone that would listen. No one could tell me whether or not I was supposed to feel good about killing the "bad guys".
[ another moment's silence - half to find his next words, half out of respect for the dead. he scrubs a hand over his head. ]
Still don't really have an answer, and like I said, it's been a long time. Some days I think I might be close, and other days I ask myself "man, who do you think you're kidding?" Thing of it is - whether or not you think it's for the right reasons, taking someone else's life isn't easy, and it shouldn't be. That kinda thing stains your hands, and then you gotta decide how to live with it. For me, at least, some days are easier than others. And on the days when it's not, I keep looking for an answer.
[ finally, he gives a small, weary smile. the point of this whole thing: trying to get people to talk about it so they don't bottle it in. sam knows where he stands, and it's at the door, trying to open it for others. ]
If you've got any ideas, please, I'd love to hear 'em. Maybe we can trade a few around, see if we can't come up with something new. Either way, today's a good day.
[ dead tired, quiet, but sam still says it with a smile before signing off. ]
[ a small smile and a lift of his chin that both say he might genuinely like that chance to meet everyone everywhere at some point. but he's here with something serious today, so he moves right along. ]
I wanted to tell y'all something I like to keep in mind from day to day, but especially on days like the last dozen or so. I'm retired military - Air National Guard pararescue, for any of you that are familiar - but I enlisted a long time ago. Don't ask for a number, a man's gotta keep some secrets.
[ feelin' your age, wilson? his cheeky smile is short lived. ]
When I went to basic, I wasn't exactly itching for a fight, so I wasn't with the other greenies that were disappointed when we started with folding our own bed sheets. My ma raised me right, and the first time I picked up a gun, it was with all due respect to the power they were putting in my hands. I didn't wanna let all that go to my head and forget the responsibility that comes with carrying arms.
[ he purses his lips for a quiet beat, inhales shortly before continuing. ]
Wish I could say the same for the first time I shot a man. My country went to war right after I was accepted into the PJs, and when it was down to me or him, I chose him. Just - [ he makes a small pew gunshot sound, glum; ] - and that was that. I wasn't scared and I didn't feel guilty about it - and that was what stuck with me. I asked my unit, my CO, anyone that would listen. No one could tell me whether or not I was supposed to feel good about killing the "bad guys".
[ another moment's silence - half to find his next words, half out of respect for the dead. he scrubs a hand over his head. ]
Still don't really have an answer, and like I said, it's been a long time. Some days I think I might be close, and other days I ask myself "man, who do you think you're kidding?" Thing of it is - whether or not you think it's for the right reasons, taking someone else's life isn't easy, and it shouldn't be. That kinda thing stains your hands, and then you gotta decide how to live with it. For me, at least, some days are easier than others. And on the days when it's not, I keep looking for an answer.
[ finally, he gives a small, weary smile. the point of this whole thing: trying to get people to talk about it so they don't bottle it in. sam knows where he stands, and it's at the door, trying to open it for others. ]
If you've got any ideas, please, I'd love to hear 'em. Maybe we can trade a few around, see if we can't come up with something new. Either way, today's a good day.
[ dead tired, quiet, but sam still says it with a smile before signing off. ]
no subject
Okay. So then - can I ask what your name is?
[ that seems more polite than what are you? ]
no subject
My house is east of Poland and Lithuania and west of Mongolia.
no subject
Russia. You're Russia?
[ but tiny and cute and 'not as strong.' ]
You're baby Russia?
no subject
He had a conversation before, and the lady running the Taste of St Petersburg at the station mentioned that her grandfather spoke of Russia, too, when he told her about it... Could it be...]
And I'm not a baby, I am a child, yes? [There's some serious difference here, WOW.]
no subject
and how ridiculous has sam's life become that a major national powerhouse that actively stands against the united states is adorable rn. what is this. why is this.
forget about the how, fairyland never made any sense to begin with. ]
Child Russia, of course. I'm sorry, this is just - this is a lot to take in. You're - not so young, and pretty damn strong to boot in my time.
no subject
[America's house sounded like a really nice place when it was described to him and he bets that the nation belonging to it has to be nice too. So if he becomes strong...]
I want to become really strong so that I can be friends with everyone one day!
no subject
I have a few friends that are from your corner of the map, yeah. My girl is from Russia.
[ not ... exactly what muscovy asked, but. he doesn't want to even try to explain future foreign relations to a child.
and because he is a child - forget the complications of countries personified, he is still a young and impressionable child - it seems prudent to say; ]
If it helps at all, friendship isn't always about strength. There's somethin' to be said for kindness and understanding, being willing to work together. Some of my best friends are just average joes that know how to tell a good joke.
no subject
[If Russia is really future-him... it would feel a lot less lonely to have one of his here, even if they're from another world where he doesn't exist. The thought alone that someone from future-his place would be here makes him excited.]
Yes, but if you're not strong enough, you cannot keep your friends. [He's not sure why some people have such issues wrapping their heads around this - he assumes that it is because they have just been strong for too long to remember how it was before.] You can keep them, but if you drop those people called Joe, they can't hold on to you, yes? Because they are not strong. But maybe they are strong enough to keep someone else, so they won't be lonely still. [And that is his first goal. Getting to the point where he can keep at least those that are really important to him.] And when you're strong you can keep them safe and keep others from taking them away, and stability is nice, yes?