eachdraidh | oo1 ⊕ video ⊕ both courts

Hey, uh. Network. My name's Sam, for those of you I haven't gotten the chance to meet yet.

[ a small smile and a lift of his chin that both say he might genuinely like that chance to meet everyone everywhere at some point. but he's here with something serious today, so he moves right along. ]

I wanted to tell y'all something I like to keep in mind from day to day, but especially on days like the last dozen or so. I'm retired military - Air National Guard pararescue, for any of you that are familiar - but I enlisted a long time ago. Don't ask for a number, a man's gotta keep some secrets.

[ feelin' your age, wilson? his cheeky smile is short lived. ]

When I went to basic, I wasn't exactly itching for a fight, so I wasn't with the other greenies that were disappointed when we started with folding our own bed sheets. My ma raised me right, and the first time I picked up a gun, it was with all due respect to the power they were putting in my hands. I didn't wanna let all that go to my head and forget the responsibility that comes with carrying arms.

[ he purses his lips for a quiet beat, inhales shortly before continuing. ]

Wish I could say the same for the first time I shot a man. My country went to war right after I was accepted into the PJs, and when it was down to me or him, I chose him. Just - [ he makes a small pew gunshot sound, glum; ] - and that was that. I wasn't scared and I didn't feel guilty about it - and that was what stuck with me. I asked my unit, my CO, anyone that would listen. No one could tell me whether or not I was supposed to feel good about killing the "bad guys".

[ another moment's silence - half to find his next words, half out of respect for the dead. he scrubs a hand over his head. ]

Still don't really have an answer, and like I said, it's been a long time. Some days I think I might be close, and other days I ask myself "man, who do you think you're kidding?" Thing of it is - whether or not you think it's for the right reasons, taking someone else's life isn't easy, and it shouldn't be. That kinda thing stains your hands, and then you gotta decide how to live with it. For me, at least, some days are easier than others. And on the days when it's not, I keep looking for an answer.

[ finally, he gives a small, weary smile. the point of this whole thing: trying to get people to talk about it so they don't bottle it in. sam knows where he stands, and it's at the door, trying to open it for others. ]

If you've got any ideas, please, I'd love to hear 'em. Maybe we can trade a few around, see if we can't come up with something new. Either way, today's a good day.

[ dead tired, quiet, but sam still says it with a smile before signing off. ]

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[ oh, sam. you hit the nail right on the head in this particular case. ]

But it's not the only teacher, and this isn't the only lesson they're interested in. [ mitsuru-senpai, a woman who dedicated herself to protecting her father, who had nothing but the utmost respect for the power she wielded... ended up losing the person most precious to her. she never did anything to deserve it. she never boasted, she was never careless; there was no lesson there. ] It seems like no matter what, innocent people always get hurt.

[ ah. sam's quiet a second, just another beat of solemn silence. ]

Yeah. They do. That's the nature of war. It's ugly and brutal and the damage isn't contained to what you see on the battlefield. That's why we have to be careful, with each other and with ourselves.

[ the damage isn't restricted solely to war — but yukari doesn't say that. it'd give away just a little too much of what she's trying to keep wrapped up. ]

You'd think they'd figure out how to keep innocent bystanders out of the way... [ she's quiet for a moment, adding in a filter. ] But I think it's human nature to not think about the smaller people caught in the wake.

[ it's neither cynical nor glum, simply a statement of fact as she sees it. ]

Sometimes I think it's enough to cause some people to give up on life.

[ it's a cold-hard truth, one that gives sam a moment of pause. she's too young to be this - not jaded, not really, but wizened to some of the hardest things in this world. ]

Sometimes it's more than enough. It takes an incredible amount of strength and courage to keep moving when you're faced with things like that. Not everyone has that right away.

[ and sometimes, they can't find it at all. ]

That's why I spend my days trying to help people look for it, both within and without. When things get rough, sometimes we can use a little guidance.

[ well, when the overarching story of your life is remember, you will die, it tends to push some unwanted truths upon the shoulders of those who want to protect life. shadows are more than just monsters that go bump in the night, after all. they prey on the minds of humans, leaving them so lethargic they literally give up on living.

there has to be a reason for why they attack the mind and not the body, there usually is. ]

Heh, I'm not surprised you do this for a living.

[ time to stop thinking before she gives too much away. ]

Are you gonna set something up here? It might help a lot of people not used to war.

Edited 2015-02-19 16:36 (UTC)

[ she might skip right past it, but sam has a good memory. he won't press her, that's not his right, but he'll keep it in mind to inform him on their interactions. there's plenty more to be learned about - everyone. ]

Y'know, you're not the first to mention it. Might not be a bad idea - but if I did, it'd have to be awhile down the road. It's gonna take a little more work than a few words of advice and my charming smile.

Well, if there's anything I can do to help, let me know. I can't lift heavy things, but I'm good at patching people up.

[ y'know, if they hurt themselves while building. ]

[ a quiet chuckle. ]

If we need an on-site medic, you'll be the first person I call, thanks.

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