clara oswald (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
parallels) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
eachdraidh2015-01-05 08:28 pm
parallels) wrote in eachdraidh2015-01-05 08:28 pm
003 ☆ Voice ☆ Both Courts
Clara Oswald here.
So...
[There's a lengthy pause as if she really doesn't want to be doing this post but feels compelled to for some reason. Or perhaps she just has no idea how to start.]
So this is Draubwurld's chance to play advice columnist. About-
[There's another painful silence. Or space for a long suffering sigh.]
Relationships.
[Another pause and then suddenly she bursts into speech, going to quickly that it's a little frightening that someone's mouth can move that fast.]
I'm mean I can't be the only one, can I? Had someone back home and then ended up here. Or back here, technically, for me. And now you've got to figure out what's to be done about it. Can't stand around the station hoping your mobile will finally, someday, send them a text message back. The one that you meant to reply to before you showed up here.
If we're trapped here for years and age slowly, it's not quite going to work to just pop back in when the war is over. "Hey, sorry, got kidnapped by fairies 65 years ago, sorry about that, yeah I'd love to go to the cinema like you said in your text". And all the while, they've wondering why you went missing all those years ago.
[And there it is, the sigh.]
Do you just... remain loyal even if it means they might have forgotten you when you return? Or moved on? Or do you call it a wash and start thinking of this place as a new life.
Either way, feels like a bit of losing game, no matter what you do. Suppose that's part of war. But war doesn't usually last centuries. For humans like me, anyway.
[Then she realizes something she probably should have said way back from the start.]
Sorry. For the too much information. And the personal questions. And personal answers if-and-or-when they are given.
Thanks.
So...
[There's a lengthy pause as if she really doesn't want to be doing this post but feels compelled to for some reason. Or perhaps she just has no idea how to start.]
So this is Draubwurld's chance to play advice columnist. About-
[There's another painful silence. Or space for a long suffering sigh.]
Relationships.
[Another pause and then suddenly she bursts into speech, going to quickly that it's a little frightening that someone's mouth can move that fast.]
I'm mean I can't be the only one, can I? Had someone back home and then ended up here. Or back here, technically, for me. And now you've got to figure out what's to be done about it. Can't stand around the station hoping your mobile will finally, someday, send them a text message back. The one that you meant to reply to before you showed up here.
If we're trapped here for years and age slowly, it's not quite going to work to just pop back in when the war is over. "Hey, sorry, got kidnapped by fairies 65 years ago, sorry about that, yeah I'd love to go to the cinema like you said in your text". And all the while, they've wondering why you went missing all those years ago.
[And there it is, the sigh.]
Do you just... remain loyal even if it means they might have forgotten you when you return? Or moved on? Or do you call it a wash and start thinking of this place as a new life.
Either way, feels like a bit of losing game, no matter what you do. Suppose that's part of war. But war doesn't usually last centuries. For humans like me, anyway.
[Then she realizes something she probably should have said way back from the start.]
Sorry. For the too much information. And the personal questions. And personal answers if-and-or-when they are given.
Thanks.
private
Not being sure if he should be loyal to her is another thing entirely when compared to him staying loyal to her. Fifty years is a long time, enough time for someone to have grandchildren, technically speaking. To put your life on pause for that long for something that— may never happen is something that seems silly and laughable at best. ]
It's his choice. If he loves you enough, he'll do even if you don't want him to. Not that you could tell him you'd prefer it if he didn't. [ Since you know, you did mention that originally, Clara. ] It just comes down to what you can do, not what you can't control.
HI I'M STILL HERE
[She sounds extremely bitter about this. Not being in control or having any control at all just makes Clara agitated and slightly nauseous. Of course, she can decide if she'll stay with Danny or not. But it's not a fair choice. It's not deciding if he's right for her or if they have the same vision of the future. It's her being stuck here. And him over there.
And a sick part of her feels relieved that she at least doesn't have to lie to him about the Doctor any more.]
It's not a fair choice. Not really.
ARE YOU SURE? ARE YOU REALLY SURE?
[ She hears that bitterness though, and understands it well enough in the case of wishing it was here. It's not a fair choice, sure, but a lot of things in the world aren't. Sometimes you just have to make them and deal with the aftermath ( control the aftermath ) as best you can. ]
You wouldn't have asked for anyone's advice if it was. [ There's a hint of amusement there before she smothers it. ] You're here, and he isn't. That choice has already half been made for you.
MY BRAIN AND RP HAVEN'T BEEN WORKING OUT LATELY
[The words leave her lips before she her brain proccesses them. For a second she's quiet, stunned by that admission. It is easier for her here with just the Doctor and no Danny. There are less lies, less stress, less pressure. She can just be a whole person. She can be the girl who travels with the Doctor. That's it.]
WELL YOU'VE BEEN DOING BETTER THAN ME AT LEAST IN THIS CASE.
Then— If that's what you honestly want, then this might be the world's way of telling you it agrees with you. You don't want him here because it's simpler, so he never comes and you never have to deal with the situation. Most would call that a victory.