003 ☆ Voice ☆ Both Courts

[parallels]

Clara Oswald here.

So...

[There's a lengthy pause as if she really doesn't want to be doing this post but feels compelled to for some reason. Or perhaps she just has no idea how to start.]

So this is Draubwurld's chance to play advice columnist. About-

[There's another painful silence. Or space for a long suffering sigh.]

Relationships.

[Another pause and then suddenly she bursts into speech, going to quickly that it's a little frightening that someone's mouth can move that fast.]

I'm mean I can't be the only one, can I? Had someone back home and then ended up here. Or back here, technically, for me. And now you've got to figure out what's to be done about it. Can't stand around the station hoping your mobile will finally, someday, send them a text message back. The one that you meant to reply to before you showed up here.

If we're trapped here for years and age slowly, it's not quite going to work to just pop back in when the war is over. "Hey, sorry, got kidnapped by fairies 65 years ago, sorry about that, yeah I'd love to go to the cinema like you said in your text". And all the while, they've wondering why you went missing all those years ago.

[And there it is, the sigh.]

Do you just... remain loyal even if it means they might have forgotten you when you return? Or moved on? Or do you call it a wash and start thinking of this place as a new life.

Either way, feels like a bit of losing game, no matter what you do. Suppose that's part of war. But war doesn't usually last centuries. For humans like me, anyway.

[Then she realizes something she probably should have said way back from the start.]

Sorry. For the too much information. And the personal questions. And personal answers if-and-or-when they are given.

Thanks.

Comments

voice. private. hush.

[duodecimal]

[ There is about twenty different things the Doctor could say to this and they're all on the tip of his tongue. What he eventually decides to say might— arguably be one of the worst responses to this but it's also startlingly honest in his opinion. ]

I told you that you made a boyfriend error. [ He stops, knowing fully well he should say more. ] You're not going to like my answer to your questions beyond that. [ You probably don't even like that one. ]

/smacks

[parallels]

Oh? What error did I make?

That he's failed to show up? Because last I checked, someone else left me stranded here for nine months.

[Do you hear the annoyance in her voice, Doctor? It's like slapping you through the network if she could.] And who says I even care about your questions.

obligatory ow

[duodecimal]

[ Pretty sure he feels his cheek stinging anyway. How do you do that you didn't even really hit him? This is like Pavlov's slap or something. ]

That you picked one that wouldn't wait for you. [ You know what, no, Clara you don't get to pull that card on him again. ] And you know very well I couldn't control when I got here.

[ Also! ] You care because you asked strangers about your love life, at least I know some of the details beyond this.

[parallels]

[Good. Because she's getting crosser by the second.]

Who says he wouldn't?

[God, part of her doesn't even want him to wait but the Doctor just makes her feel furiously indignant over that point.] And maybe I wanted the opinions of people who actually can relate to my situation and be objective instead of popping in just to say something just to be heard.

[duodecimal]

[ Mayday, mayday, the Doctor has made a huge mistake. ]

The person who got mocked by him. If the man can't even take you traveling with me on occasion with a guarantee the I will bring you back, I doubt he could take you being whisked away to here. [ He can't help how his eyes roll just slightly in annoyance. ] Oh yes, because scores of people here are in that exact situation. You didn't even tell them the other parts. You can't expect to get a proper answer when they've only got half a story.

[ There's a pause and the Doctor realizes the last bit. ] I'm capable of being objective.

[parallels]

[An explosive crash is imminent unless you pull yourself out of this nosedive.]

Not in this situation, you're not.

[Then she frowns. She doesn't want to get into this. It's all deeply petty to her and it just drives that sick, needy, gameplaying part of her that tries to balance both of these aspects of her life without letting the other one drop.] And it's not that he doesn't want me traveling. It's that he doesn't... he doesn't want to see what happened on the moon happen. [But even then, Danny had known she wasn't as upset by this as she thought she had been. She'd have to push herself to be the one to end it.] He wouldn't want me here with you in a war.

And what other parts do you think are relevant in a situation about my love life.

[duodecimal]

[ He doesn't know how to fly this plane!!! ]

Neither are any friends that might answer this.

[ Or you, but even he knows better than to point that out. He shouldn't be pressing at this but he can't help it. It bothers him for the same reasons it did at home. PE isn't here and she's still— doing this. ] He doesn't want me to— He mocked me in my own TARDIS, Clara. Forgive me for thinking he also doesn't enjoy me. [ Not that he had been a shining beacon of politeness, but it was also his home that they had been in at the time. ] And I'm sure he'd enjoy being in it. Of all the people to be stuck in a war with, I'm one of the better ones.

The part that involves you going on trips with someone who isn't him. [ See also: me. ]

[parallels]

You don't know that.

[They both know that.]

Only because you were being a complete arse about all of it! I was trying to show him that you were a... a clever man and then you went and mucked it all up. [God. She can't help cringe at that disaster of a memory. She'd love to get a memory worm for tha entire experience.] And no, he doesn't. But you don't enjoy him either. Neither of you gave each other a chance. And he... was the one who told me not to give up on you. After the moon. [Okay. That's not... exactly what Danny said. Okay it's not all that close at all. But it sounds nice, doesn't it. Then she gives a little huff.]

I mention that when relevant.

[duodecimal]

[ The only reply she gets to that is him just narrowing his eyes and shaking his head. ]

I mucked it up. As if he was perfectly innocent in that entire debacle. [ Which he wasn't in the Doctor's opinion. ] I was willing to maybe try up until he did that. [ Mostly a lie, but still. ] And I doubt that's what he meant. It'd give him a good excuse to finally have you all to himself. Doesn't even have to do much work because I did it all for him. [ Actual childish huff because even if that is what PE said, he's not about to thank him. Probably.

Maybe. Maybe after Clara's for sure going to go on more trips with him. ]

When relevant. In your opinion. Not the relevant most people would apply to this situation.

[parallels]

No. He wasn't. But you. [She frowns. He's never going to cop to being wrong.] And please. You weren't ever going to try. You don't try. And-

[Wow. Then that's the final straw. If this were video, her hands would be at her hips and probably itching to give him a good slap.]

I'm not an object for one of you to keep to yourself. I choose who I spend my time with. And both of you are lowering yourselves on the list the more you go at it like this.

[A huff.]

And he did mean it. He said... he said he's fine with me traveling as long as I'm safe.

[And a beat.]

And my opinion is the only relevant one here.

[duodecimal]

I would have. I realize that I'm a bit more stubborn this go around but for crying out loud, I would have tried just a bit. Had all of that not happened.

[ Probably. Hypothetically. His pride was very hurt at the time, but really he might have given it like a minute or two of trying rather than what actually happened. ]

You— Did I misspeak and call you an it, Clara? I wasn't calling you an object. I was just saying that with me out of the picture, your choice goes down to one person. And that means either you spend time with him or someone else or no one. I am not part of the equation any more in that situation. A fact I believe he'd enjoy.

[ A beat and then his voice is a little softer. ]

He also should know I can't one hundred percent guarantee that outcome. I can try and tilt the odds in our favor but it's not a guarantee.

[ He made himself sad thinking about that. ]

They're going to give you biased answers then.

[parallels]

Now it's happened. And I'd like for you to grow up and deal with it like men.

[She just. Runs a hand down her face. You two are going to be the death of her. Seriously. Forget the war. Still then she pulls her hands away from her face, a little less fire in her eyes.]

Well, you're not getting out of the picture. I don't want that. Danny knows I don't want that. That's why he said I can keep traveling with you. So I don't think he'd enjoy it as much as you'd think. He wants me to be happy.

[No. It would make Danny happy. Not for any reason of competition but for the fact that he seems to find the Doctor dangerous and her dangerous in his presence. But still he'd told her not to end it in a rage? That was a bit like telling her to keep going, right?]

So, then make sure you keep the odds more in our favor. Or else you're going to have an earful. And you get so sulky when lectured. It's sad.

[Not thinking of that either.]

They'll give me answers relevant to what I need to know.

[duodecimal]

[ He nearly says only if he does first before he realizes, in a brief show of actually using his common sense that saying that— might be a bad idea.

His face does twist a bit though before he sighs. ]

Because he only cares about your happiness an isn't prone to something like jealousy. How incredibly silly of me.

[ This is why she tells him to grow up, because that's definitely not the adult response to that. Still, he's just barreling on regardless. ]

This isn't sulking— [ It is. ] and I can'— there are some things impossible even for me.

[ He'd still try to do them for her, but minor detail. ]

They're not going to be very good answers.

[parallels]

He's not jealous. If he were jealous, he wouldn't have said it was fine for us to travel. Blimey, you're being so ridiculous. And yes, you are sulking. You need to stop or else you're going to hurt my eyes with that face. An impossible man ought to do impossible things instead of just sulking about.

[A huff.]

I've gotten fine answers.