eachdraidh | video - open to both courts, backdated to the 20th

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video - open to both courts, backdated to the 20th

I need a broom.

[ Some crunching can be heard. It's late, there's not going to be much of an explanation here, other than Alice's hands look very bad, in bruises and cuts. She continues on like it's nothing. She looks up to the imp and frowns. ]

Or a dustpan. I know this is a pain without a lantern, I'm sorry. Use a handkerchief so you don't cut yourself, alright?

[ Sometimes she feels bad for this imp. Alice goes up to cleaning broken shards of glass, ever so carefully, using a basket as means to pick up pieces. With a huff, more to herself- ]

This is the last time I ever-

[ She stops, of course, to notice the locket is open and shoots a look up to the imp. ]

Don't even think about it. I'm not in the mood for this, it was an accident.

[ With a mutter, Alice's hand goes over it and the locket is promptly clamped shut. Should anyone ask, she'll shift it to voice after getting the rest of the mirror cleaned up. ]

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[ She backtracks almost immediately. ]

I'm sorry.

You seem tired, Alice. [As if this was her first outburst with him. If Lancelot flinched at Alice's ire or her concerns, then he felt he would be useless to her.]

I would advise rest, but you wouldn't take to such a suggestion. What ails you?

[ "Neither would you" she nearly says in return. A silence falls on Alice, as she takes time to settle herself. Gather up her patience so that she doesn't lash out. ]

... I am afraid if I told you, you would think of me strange.

[Thus, the flattest reply in the universe.]

And, you do not think of me as strange?

Ah-

[ Of course she does, she thinks he's very weird. But the idea of supplying him with the knowledge of hallucinations bothers her. Even with the knowledge of seeing him at his worst. ]

That may be, but- no, it's alright, it's nothing. I'll be fine.

[ If she says so, then it must be. ]

I know you will be. You conduct yourself with fair grace when you grow irritable. I believe it translates to quite a bit of determination.

[He thinks you're pretty when you're angry, Alice. Go figure!]

[ WAIT- ]

Fair grace?

[ Alice has to process this for a minute. Because if you think that's pretty... ]

You wouldn't be saying that if you knew more.

[ So help her, she'll just blurt it out. ]

I'm not- I am not myself.

[He let her go on, fairly confident that this was just an expansion of other incidents.]

I'm rather aware that you're out of sorts, Alice. Still, I cannot say that you would be capable of doing anything regrettable. Incidents such as this are simply human.

[ Eventually, after a long silence, and after telling herself she had better respond sooner or later lest he ask her if she's still there, she finally caves. ]

For you, perhaps. But I prefer some level of composure and control of my actions. I almost ripped it out of my chest, you know, I thought that it would solve everything.

[ The shard, of course, she just hates using the words "shard" or "shardbearer". ]

And now I find this, broken bits of a mirror and I am going mad again. Who wants any of that? He had hurt me, but he hurt all of you in terrible ways. But I have been hurt worse, I've been in darkness longer. Why can't I fix it? I am not sure why I am even telling you any of this, you won't think anything of it, not even if I lose my composure completely.

It would do you no good to look for answers to such things, Alice. I fear I understand you so little, I would only give you unfair advice. The only things I can draw upon are my own experiences and beliefs.

[To which--yeah, Lancelot was fairly certain she didn't really need ANY of his advice and yet, there he was.]

You may not believe your own guidance is sensible. You traverse a road of emotional stress that few others can bear even for even moments at a time, yet all I see lost right now is a mirror. Were you beyond saving, we would not be talking at all.

Your suffering is not the end of it all. I believe you'll overcome this.

It is a feeling that I am not averse to, no. I only wish I was stronger. Think of it like a papercut; it's a small cut, but it is still just as irritating as an actual cut.

[ That is how she sees it, anyway. ]

I disagree and that shouldn't come as no surprise considering I disagree with you often. Out of anyone I know, I think you would understand better than most.

[ The broken mirror means much more than that. It meant that the looking glass wasn't so easily obtained. It is only dawning on her now that she tried to climb through it. She wants to make sure that things are in place. That the Jabberwock is still dead in Wonderland. ]

Your words are more than just words. They do help... so thank you.

Edited 2015-01-10 08:07 (UTC)

Surprising. [A compromise? Or, it only seemed that way. Alice and Lancelot would rarely, truly see eye to eye. Their own worse qualities stunted them from that, despite the fact that they were not only comrades, but friends. What kept them from agreeing the most was that willingness to forgive the other as much as possible.]

There is no need to say such a thing.

Though--I cannot say it seems reasonable to compare your situation to a mere papercut. A papercut is only a mistake. It seems more like you've been insulted.

[ A very soft laugh manages to escape Alice's lips. No, they didn't agree often; it feels strange and yet, it can content her, for now. Alice has to wipe away a small tear that threatened the corner of her eye with bruised hand. ]

It's not an insult, it's... Well. It is not the first time I've been held against my will. After this, I thought it would be nothing! And Renyard, well- as much as he was a monster, as much as he spoke about these rocks being a commodity, there are worse men. It should be something that shouldn't hurt as much.

[ But it does, it hurt a lot. It broke her sense of security. And now the red queen and Queensland was coiling in her mind. There is really no point in hiding her blood lust with Lancelot as far as she's concerned. ]

So now things won't be the same. I only wish I could have gone, too, so that I could have returned the favor for what he did.

That would be a waste of your wishes, Alice. Spend them on something more worthwhile.

[Alice's pain was understood. It was deep and traumatic and by far, one of the reasons why Lancelot pursued Reynard so furiously, but he knew that it was still a small pool to draw from.]

The world creates monsters on a daily basis. Though Reynard's death was a necessity, he is a mass-production of a beast that is otherwise timeless.

Direct your gaze forward, Alice. There will be more monsters and with them, you may enact justice.

You shouldn't encourage me. [ It's a breathy response that could easily border on a laugh. ] That isn't a question of it happening, it's when.

There will always be worse man than Reynard, even his next of kin.

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video - open to both courts, backdated to the 20th

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