eachdraidh | Video (Seelie & Hermione-Net Compass)

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For anyone who doesn't know me, my name's Steve Rogers. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to meet many of you at the feast. Things came up, but I at least wanted to introduce myself.

[For reasons, curiosity. Maybe he's a limited edition but he's definitely not one of a kind.]

I also wanted to talk about something else. Some of you might remember Sam Wilson - in fact, if you ever met him, I'm willing to bet that you do. Sam served two tours in the military, so he could definitely hold his own in a fight. But what he really loved to do was help people. My entire world had turned its back on me, and Sam took me in, made me bacon and eggs. That's the kind of friend I hope to be to anyone who'd call me one.

[Emphasis on 'anyone'.]

Sam's gone now, but he started working on something before he left. It's a clinic, he called it The Nest. There's some medicine and stuff there, but it was more than that. It was a place for people to come if they just needed to talk, or if they needed to rest. I never realized it before, but sometimes in a war people need that as much as they need bandaging up.

[Steve pauses there to take deep breath. Here comes the hard part.]

This is my friend's legacy, and I've tried to keep it afloat. The problem is, I don't know how. And it's hard for me to ask for help sometimes.

[He can barely even maintain eye contact. But the same thing keeps going through his head, fuels him on: for Sam.]

But if you have anything to offer...if you have medical knowledge or if you're just a good listener, even if you want somewhere else to stay. There's a place for you here.

I guess that's it. Again, welcome, and try to watch yourselves out there.

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You could never disappoint me.

[ Mako's met more than her fair share of macho jerks, people who looked at her and dismissed her as little more than someone who's ridden on her father's coattails, or saw her as weaker because she was younger than they were. Steve is not one of them. She doesn't have to be abrasive, curt -- not to him, but she gets how that comment sounds and she ducks her head, embarrassed, quickly latching on to the next subject. ]

I've seen it here. Would you like some when I come by?

[Well, hearing a woman say those words was something he could only dream about for most of his life. It's not exactly a hardship hearing them now.]

I don't want you to go to too much trouble. You're already bringing tea.

[ ...Really, Steven. ]

Well, you could make yourself useful and boil some water. [ She'll be bringing food, too. ] In an hour?

I can definitely boil water. We had to do a lot of that.

[Steve grins at her, already looking a little more cheered. Actually he looks a lot like a big golden retriever of a man.]

I guess I'll see you in an hour.

[ oh my god, the big golden retriever of a man is blinding; he looks so genuinely cheered and sweet that she feels her breath catch. The resemblance to Raleigh is uncanny, and she quickly dismisses it from her mind. He's not Raleigh -- he's Steve.

She turns up punctually, an hour later with two lunchboxes of rice, fish, and seasonal vegetables, and a pouch of rich green tea leaves.

Mako pops into the clinic. ] Steve?

[It's Colonel Phillips who greets her first, the mini pin's nails tapping against the clinic floor as he runs in her direction.]

Colonel! No jumping. [Steve appears a few seconds later, smiling his apology.] I'm trying to teach him some manners. Need any help with anything?

[ Mako crouches as soon as she sees Colonel Philips, her expression brightening as she scratches behind his ears before she straightens up to greet him. ]

He's a good dog. [ She says kindly, her love for all things canine ultimately obvious. ] I brought you lunch as well. Where shall we have it?

[ He hasn't eaten, and she knows it. ]

[He hasn't. But the sight of the lunchboxes reminds him of just how hungry he actually is.]

The kitchen's this way, unless you'd rather eat outside. Oh, and I got the boiling water, just like you instructed.

Shall we have it outside?

[ Out there on the porch; it's a beautiful day today, peaceful, and she figures it'd be wasted if they had it in the kitchen. She holds out the two boxes to him, smiling briefly. ]

Give me a few minutes. I'll prepare the tea.

You read my mind.

[Steve smiles, thinking all those same things. He takes the boxes and heads outside, placing them beside him as he sits down on the porch. He take a deep, cleansing breath before lifting his hand to rub along Colonel's back.

But the little dog decided to stick with their guest. He smiles at that and shakes his head gently.]

Guess I can't blame him.

[ Mako laughs softly, rubbing the little dog behind the ears and under his chin when she realises he's sticking with her. He's adorable, much in the way his master is, and it's a few minutes before she joins Steve on the porch, toeing off her shoes to nudge them neatly to the side.

She carries the tea set she'd left here previously, the clay pot steaming gently with hot green tea, and the two delicately lacquered cups sitting on it. Colonel Philips bounds outside at her heels, coming over to nuzzle against Steve when he smells the food. ]

Your dog's lovely. What's his name, Colonel? [ She settles next to Steve, her knees folded under her, the tea set placed between them. ]

[Oh boy, it's those little cups again. Steve takes a deep breath when he looks at them again, filled with a mild dread. He strokes his hand along the dog's back.]

Colonel Phillips. He was my old commanding officer. [He smiles a little awkwardly. She seems big on respect, and maybe she thinks it's disrespectful to name his dog after someone like that - even an adorable dog.] I let my best friend name him. He's lost a lot of memories, but he remembered that name. I didn't have the heart to change it.

[ Little cups are not your enemy, Steven. And Mako has had plenty of time to get used to the fact that white people are markedly different from other people, from philosophies to way of life -- and she doesn't raise an eyebrow when she realises he's named it after a superior officer.

If she's surprised, she says nothing about it, and it's buried with her when he mentions his best friend and those memories. It must mean very much to him, and so she smiles, stirring the little pot of tea. ]

I'm sure he'll remember more. [ The brain is like that -- it's more resilient than you know. ] Is he with you here?

Yeah.

[And that isn't something that should be followed up with a heavy sigh, but Steve does it anyway. Maybe she'll understand with his next words.]

In the other court.

[ Ah.

She understands immediately -- it's difficult to be on the other end with someone you're close with, dictated into battle just because, with the worlds in the balance.

Mako is quietly sympathetic, as she pours out the tea for him. ]

I see. It must be difficult for you both. [ She pauses. ] Does he come by often?

[It's dangerous to admit it. It's dangerous for Bucky, though he has the power to make his escape pretty quickly. It's dangerous for Steve, most of all.

But it's also dangerous for Mako if he isn't honest, and he really doesn't think he's in danger from her.]

When he can. Which isn't often.

[Steve picks up one of the cups.]

This always smells so good. Thank you.

You thank me for something I can't control.

[ Mako teases him gently. The aroma is mellow, clean with a touch of sweetness, to cleanse as much as it is to invigorate. She's lucky that she'd found such tea leaves here, and she takes a sip of her own.

Steve's secret is safe with her, to be sure. She had never seen the point in opposing sides, and has even less interest in fighting a fellow human being. She didn't save the world from rampaging kaiju for this shit.

Mako reaches for the bent boxes and opens them, handing one over to him with a plastic fork and spoon. ]

Tell me more about your friend.

I suppose you had nothing to do with this either.

[Steve teases back when she offers him the box. Steve eats to stay alive, but for once he feels an actual appetite coming on. He digs in with the fork, but starts to answer before he takes a bite.]

We've known each other since were were kids. We did everything together. Sold newspapers, went to the movies, looked up at the stars. We were more like brothers than friends.

[Or boyfriends.]

Oh, I had everything to do with this. I accept compliments for lunch.

[ Mako's smile is just a little wicked and a lot sassy. She's pleased when he's digging in with enthusiasm, quietly proud that she's made something he enjoys. She tucks in, chopsticks delicately picking up choice morsels as she listens to his story, and the fondness with which he tells it. Imagine that, being so close with someone that you could love them more than life itself. ]

Is he a soldier like you, too?

He beat me to it.

[Steve smiles up at her.]

Part of the reason I wanted to go into the Army was so I could follow him.

[But he looks down at his lunch again after he says that. He grows quiet. Steve isn't sure if he should tell her the rest of it. He swallows hard and finally speaks again.]

Bucky would've followed me into the jaws of death. And in a way, he did.

[ Mako's smile dissolves in the face of such incredible, haunting sadness. The look in Steve's eyes is like nothing she's ever seen, and everything she knows. He's lost his whole world before, and she understands. ]

I see. [ And she's learned that there are no words that can alleviate that kind of loss. ] In a way?

I thought he died while on a mission with me.

[But obviously he didn't, even if bringing people back from the actual dead isn't beyond the drabwurld's power.]

He was a prisoner of war. He was brainwashed, used. He's still recovering from that. [He shrugs helplessly.] I do what I can, but sometimes it doesn't feel like enough.

[Sometimes, he says.]

[ ...Oh.

Difficult moments, difficult truths -- she can see that it's twisted him up inside, hurt him on so many, many profound levels, and she feels her heart ache for his evident helplessness. To be unable to help someone you love; that's the most terrible, awful thing.

There are no amount of platitudes that can ease a hurt like this, a wound that doesn't close, and she pauses for a moment, considering him quietly. ]

Why do you feel that way?

I guess...I just want to see him happy. And I'm never really sure if he is.

[Steve smiles at her before turning his attention back to his food.]

I know he's never going to be the same person he used to be. I think he still believes that I'm expecting that sometimes.

[ Mako wonders if he realizes it, if he knows that the smile never quite reaches his eyes, or that he wears his heart on his sleeve when you discover just where to look. He's hurting, and she's sure, so is his friend.

She has no answers for him, only: ] You can't hope to save another person when you're drowning, yourself. Are you happy?

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starspangled - 2015-08-25 02:13 (UTC) - Expand

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