video; unseelie only

[tacticalturtleneck]

Alright, let's get a couple facts straight.

1st -> Fuck the Seelie. Yeah, which one of you asses are going to argue with me about that? It'll be a quick trip to the dungeons for you, King Louis XVI. That's spelled L-o-u-i-s but pronounced in a dumb frog way. Don't get me started.

2nd -> Get your ass over to Archer Point Military Academy. Seriously, learn how to be a good soldier. Girls love soldiers which means you can get some serious bed action as long as you follow what I say.

3rd -> Don't disrespect Darth Wark. He's my chocobro and I will let him remove you from existence if you do. Bros before does, right? [Yes, there is a loud WARK off the screen.] Are girl chocobos called does by the way? I don't even know. Quick, someone find me a bird expert!

4th -> All hot women drink for free here. Considering there is an extreme lack of unhot women using these things, I'm pretty sure that means all of you. Using my bed while I'm in it is also free, hint hint. Psst, that means I'd bang you.

What else am I missing? Fill me in.

Comments

[uneulogized]

You give me drinks for free, I give you all the sympathetic made up bullshit you're asking for.

[tacticalturtleneck]

It's not worth that much. Maybe if you had a prettier face. And a chromosome change.

Give me something good enough to trade and you can have all the alcohol you want.

[uneulogized]

Y'know, if you made yourself seem more friendly, you could have just as many friends as Ariadne. You could be a stand out guy.

Alcohol? That goes a long way.

[AKA anything he has to offer even in hackneyed BSed arrangements goes to Ariadne first.]

[tacticalturtleneck]

First off, I don't want to have friends like her. I just want to bang her.

Secondly, I work on fair trade here. If it helps, I'm building a super awesome ship and am willing to pay for help.

[uneulogized]

Well, good thing you never will. [Said with absolute confidence. Not only is she completely in love with whoever it is that she's in love with, she has taste. Probably. Jason doubts this guy counts for taste.]

And I'm more of a fighter than a builder, so we might be at an impasse. Too bad.

[tacticalturtleneck]

That's also useful. Need fighting teachers. You know, since that's kind of what officers need to learn. Multiple ways to kick ass.

[uneulogized]

I can do lessons once in a while, sure. I usually keep them to the Diasbaile, but I'm guessing your people can't really take the fairy rings, so I can see if I can make some time for them. [Not yet. Not with how things are, but he can look into it.]

[tacticalturtleneck]

Done and done. Just send when you're free over at some point and I'll make sure you get classes at those times. And however you want to be paid.

[uneulogized]

Can do. It might not be right away. Complications and all. [Busy, busy time.] But it's good for us all. [Plus, he can figure out how to teach multiple people at once ... for once.]