video » One Penny

[impathy]

[Open]

It's a fine day for sunshine. I find myself pitying those who choose to live beneath stones and only play at seeing sunlight. The real thing is not so easy to replicate. It seems to be getting warmer as well. Summer Is Coming, as they might say in my own Westerlands. If there is anything to love about this world, it is the peculiarly short seasons. It is a strange thing to have them all wrapped up in one year. I find myself wondering how it is you're able to keep track of them when they each go by so swiftly. It is near spring, but I'm told it will only be a few months long with more certainty than even the wisest maesters can manage - and this from an ill-bred soldier with scant few hairs on his lip.

I will say this for the south, however. It is blessed with very few imps.

[Locked to the Unseelie]

I've spent an uncomfortably long time in Seelie lands these past few weeks, though I am to understand a fairy ring is not so far off ahead of me. Would that we had such things in my own seven kingdoms, I might have done a fair bit more traveling. Though I confess I find it terribly disappoint how utterly small this world is made out to be. Is it truly a void beyond the oceans? I would imagine that it could not have always been that way. Certainly there had to be something far off out there, beyond where ships are able to reach.

In any case, I do have a point beyond the tedium of long riding. My name is Tyrion Lannister, which may not merit much weight here, but I was known as the King's Hand and the Master of Coin where I was from. I excelled in both duties and while I have no mind to butcher my features in further battles, I would see my skills put to proper use still. There is a certain spire that I feel might benefit from my talents and so it is there I mean to go. But I am given to understand there are a number of spires in all and would be only too glad to find other similar minded individuals to begin making certain investments. I do not yet have all my wealth at my disposal, but I promise you I always pay my due. A Lannister always pays his debts.

There is one other matter. Briefly for a time there were two of my kin here. My brother Jaime Lannister and my bastard nephew, Joffrey. Did anyone perchance to meet either of them? I know they are long gone from this world, but I would be interested to know if there was anything they might have left behind.

Comments

[withbite]

Fair enough. So sell me on why I should think about taking you on...

[impathy]

You have it backwards, ser. I need to be convinced you are worth my time. I wasted far too long on my wastrel nephew and I believe you already know how that ended.

[withbite]

Yes, yes, nephew threw you in jail. Trust me, I've been there.

[Hello, Augustine.]

I need... like minded people around me. Preferably those that won't be incredibly judgmental over my proclivities. And who enjoys the occasional party. Because once this damn thing is finished...

[Yes. There would be a feasting party of sorts. Definitely full of whores and alcohol.]

[impathy]

[That was not quite how it went, but he decided there was no use correcting it.]

Where might your spire be? I have a map with me now, but these ten spires seem new additions. I cannot be certain where each can be found.

[withbite]

Mine is the biggest pain in the ass to get to. Mostly. There's two that are up north a bit from the ruin that is the Station ring. I'm the easterly one near the mountain before all that lovely desert. Fortunately, there's rings at the base of each spire, so travel's a bit easier.

[impathy]

A spire in a desert. How terribly unfortunate. What manner of incomes do you have for this spire of yours? Few traders are eager to buy sand.

[withbite]

There's a town being built and a cafe that has an exclusive marketing ploy directed at vampires, which I expect will bring in a decent profit on its own. Not to mention taxes and oh, right, the brothel or five I plan on adding. And then there's the worms. If I can get them trained properly, I might be able to use them for more than just terrain guarding. Though, there are also other... plans in motion for compensation.

[impathy]

[Brothels, vampires, and worms. Tyrion isn't quite sure what to make of all that. Or the need for a new village to need five brothels...]

After the long trek to make it to your spire, you might well put the worms in the brothel. The sunstroked fools aren't like to know the difference.

[withbite]

I might have one of those. Who knows, maybe I'll make each one cater to specific requirements. Have a nice little vanilla brothel for those that just want something easy and quick. Then a dungeon one for... well, I'm sure you can use your imagination. Honestly, as long as I have my own resources here instead of having to head over to Mair each time the urge strikes me, I'll be happier. Not to mention having clientele that are used to dealing with vampires, well... that can come in handy.

[impathy]

[Mair. Tyrion might have taken his chances there, but he'd heard enough about the lord there to know he was not likely to get a whole lot of traction there. The man seemed a bit too much like his own father to give Tyrion the time of day. The likes of Damon and these other barons seemed more tractable.

But not so tractable as Sansa might have been, damn her.]

My tastes are not so imaginative as all that. If you provide me with a young and pretty face, you'll at least have some income from me. So long as I'm not like to find sand in their nethers.

[withbite]

I can do you one better. But maybe I'll keep that as a surprise for when you get here.

[Compulsion was a hell of a drug, and if Tyrion got on his good side, he could always compel one or two of the girls to go above and beyond what a little gold coin could pay for.]

[impathy]

My experiences of late has soured me to surprises. I prefer to know exactly what I'm getting into.

[Damon was a promising option, but there was something dangerous about this man. The might be like-minded, but Tyrion knew himself to be a dangerous kind of friend.]

[withbite]

Don't ruin it before you get here. Let's just say that your... distractions for the evening will be very open to suggestions.

[impathy]

I have never had issue with suggestions before. For the right gold, they'll even untangle the Meerenese knot for you, with you mercifully right in the middle of it.

[withbite]

And if you happen not to have the right gold at that moment?

[He was trying to be nice here, Tyrion. Play along.]

[impathy]

My aim is to avoid that situation entirely.

[withbite]

You're not playing along properly. You're supposed to go 'Oh, gee, yes, I would like to have at least one evening where I can keep my precious gold in my little purse thing and still enjoy the pleasure of whoring. Where do I sign up?'

[impathy]

I've never been known to play along with the rules. But if you mean to employ me by simply hiring whores for me, then I will have to decline. Arrogant though it might be, I prefer to think I command a higher salary than that.

[withbite]

Is there a translation gap because of the size difference? A night of free whores isn't payment. It's a bonus. Really, keep up here, buddy. As for paying you in general, I still need proof you're worth it. I don't mind forking out for fun for a night or three, but if money is changing hands, I expect you to be worth it.

[impathy]

Oh, I'm well worth it. But as it happens, I have already been offered a fort, a shardbearing whore, and an indecent amount of partying. You're doing a poor job of bartering thus far.

[withbite]

I haven't seen anything worth offering more for. If it's just counting money, I've got a multitude of decades under my belt for that. Though, I suppose if anything, this little conversation has made me realize I should get some sort of accountant/housekeeper myself.

[impathy]

Certainly. We are terribly useful creatures, all in all. It allows you to spend more time pursuing your own carnal desires.

[withbite]

There's just not enough time for me to pursue it as much as I'd like.

[More's the pity.]

But, if you pass by this way, maybe there'll be a room for you to crash in for the night.

[impathy]

Oh, I suppose I might. Your spire sounds promising enough. I suspect that in time, I'll want to see all ten of them.

[withbite]

You could make a tour of it. Go on a "Spire of the Unseelie" adventure and see what the differences are between each one. Now I'm going to have to paint.