Voice, Open

[bythewaves]

[ Grief, as deep as the sea, as endless as the sky. Pain, like sheeting ice, in the voice that speaks... and for those with ears to hear, a tiny, quiet envy and relief. ]

For those who knew them, the list of those freed from this world now includes the Lady Galadriel and her husband, the Lord Celeborn, their daughter, the Lady Celebrian, the Lady Idril, and Maedhros my brother. Also, the Lady Sif, who counted us as family in lieu of those left in her own world.

Their things are with me, but they left no letters behind.

Comments

[bythewaves]

[ Maglor weeps for a long, long time. Long enough, probably, for Muscovy to drop off. He might weep himself to exhaustion but he has a little one to care for, and it is only that which gets him to his feet, Muscovy cradled close, long enough to collapse onto the bed, which still, he imagines, smells faintly of Maedhros. He will curl around the little nation and sleep that way ]

[muscovy]

[Muscovy wakes eventually and finds that he's on the bed now and that it is rather cold, so he will move slightly, only until his hand finds a blanket to pull over himself and over as much of Maglor as he can reach before wrapping the arm back around the the elf.]

[bythewaves]

[ Testament to his weariness (but also, perhaps, his trust of Muscovy), Maglor does not wake, only curling closer around Muscovy in sleep ]

[muscovy]

[Muscovy remains where he is, after a while dozing off again. He's rested enough now to wake if Maglor stirs, though.]

[bythewaves]

[ It will be morning before Maglor stirs, coming awake with tear tracks still drying on his cheeks and his voice hoarse ]

Muscovy?

[muscovy]

[The nation doesn't let go, but he tilts his head back, chin against Maglor's chest, to look up, sleep in his eyes.]

I am here.

[Not gone.]

[bythewaves]

[ Maglor presses a kiss to Muscovy's forehead and holds him close ]

Thank you, Muscovy. I am sorry - it... hurts a lot, you know? And you are very warm.

[muscovy]

Where does it hurt?

[He can understand the wish to be warm. Loneliness and abandonment have always been more of a temperature than a feeling for him (which is also the reason why the General doesn't make him feel any less lonely; he's cold), so there is nothing odd about that statement. But Maglor has also grown worse, somehow, more translucent, and that scares him.

He opens his mouth to comment on it and the suddenly stops, horror halting his words - Maglor could lose his heart again if he says the wrong thinghere, wouldn't he?]

[bythewaves]

In my heart. [ He murmurs softly, carding a hand through Muscovy's hair ]

I will not wish, tithen pen. [ He promises, seeing the worry ] I do not even know if it would work, with Will gone. But I promised Celebrian I would not do it again, and it would hurt amil.

[muscovy]

I don't want you to do it, either.

[He's not family, so it might not have as much weight (he's stalking Maglor's conversations as much as he can, both on the network and off network if he is around, and he knows that he isn't included in his reasoning of who needs him), and he doesn't feel like he could really do much (or anything at all, if Maglor doesn't want to keep him) anyway, but he still wants to have said it in case it does something - it has to, at least at the moment, because from moment to moment Maglor seems to want him there, even if it isn't strong enough for the keeping in the future aspect. He'll do his best to keep Maglor around until he is strong enough for his presence and wishes to mean something, until he can keep him for the future from his own side.]

[bythewaves]

I will try very hard not to leave you alone Muscovy. [ He needs you too Maedhros reminds him, and Maglor swallows the tears ]

I am sorry. I am not much protection for you right now am I?

[muscovy]

You are still strong. [You can still be protection if I need it. As long as Maglor doesn't leave him, that is.

It is ...nice and still surprising to him, and a bit odd, that Maglor tells him that he will try to not leave him alone. It's not something that he is used to.]

[bythewaves]

[ A soft, watery laugh ] I do not feel strong, Muscovy. But I will try. I am... being very unfair to you, eh?

I spoke to Aragorn, now that... Galadriel and Celebrian are gone. If... the worst should happen, he will look after you for me, alright?

[muscovy]

But [He's not sure how to express this, mostly because he isn't sure what there really is between himself and Maglor and what he wants there to be. How do Elves do these things? How is a nation supposed to do this thing? But still...] I won't call him father. [Not that he addresses Maglor that way (at least not for now) but he calls him that around other people. Nations are good at moving on, but the thing with Maglor is that if Maglor doesn't get himself killed he won't have to, because Maglor is not actually mortal, and that is an important point in this equation.]

[bythewaves]

[ Maglor goes still, startled and surprised, and then he pulls Muscovy close, dropping his head to press a kiss against his hair and breathe in deep ]

Oh Muscovy. [ And his voice is thick with tears ] You are far too good to me.

[muscovy]

[Muscovy's grip tightens in response to being pulled closer.] So you will stay?

[He doesn't believe that the answer will yes, but he really, really wants it to be. And he will ask again and again until it is.]

[bythewaves]

As long as I can. Yes. I promise, Muscovy. I will try.

[muscovy]

You should tell me what I can do to help you with that, yes?

[Until he can properly do something, he just wants to be of as much assistance as possible, because even the strongest person cannot bring back people.]

[bythewaves]

Only stay with me, Muscovy. [ So, so quietly ] Don't go.

[muscovy]

I won't.

[He buries his face in Maglor's shirt with a smile; this isn't perfect, but as good as it will probably get.]

Never.

[bythewaves]

Thank you Muscovy. [ Maglor hugs him close and tries to lose himself in the song of the little nation in his lap for a while ]

[muscovy]

[He'll let the Elf do that, though he doesn't sleep again, instead watching him closely in a sharp worry that he'll go even more translucent on his watch.

But it is still nice and warm and safe in Maglor's arms, and he is content just listening to the older male's heartbeat.]