Voice, Open

[bythewaves]

[ Grief, as deep as the sea, as endless as the sky. Pain, like sheeting ice, in the voice that speaks... and for those with ears to hear, a tiny, quiet envy and relief. ]

For those who knew them, the list of those freed from this world now includes the Lady Galadriel and her husband, the Lord Celeborn, their daughter, the Lady Celebrian, the Lady Idril, and Maedhros my brother. Also, the Lady Sif, who counted us as family in lieu of those left in her own world.

Their things are with me, but they left no letters behind.

Comments

[survivra]

I'm fine. [ and then a surge of fury that belies her own words when she realizes how obviously maglor is struggling, too—fury at this place, that everyone comes and everyone leaves and there's nothing you can do about it. ] We're used to spending time apart. I think—I think I'm angry.

[bythewaves]

Do not... let your anger control you. You are... better than them. Better than this. Burn bright, Katsa, but do not listen to your anger.

[survivra]

[ she's stunned into silence for a moment, stares down at her hands as she takes in his words, wrestles with them. ]

I'm still afraid of it. [ quietly. her anger, still so strong, still so violent. still so difficult to control. ] That's what he would say, too. I don't know if I am better, though.

[bythewaves]

I have crossed blades with you and seen your spirit and your fire. [ He reminds her ]

You are. I believe it, and I am sure he thought so as well.

[survivra]

Yes. Then you should know there's a part of me that's as savage as I abhor it.

[ she's being so honest with him she's shocking even herself. katsa clenches her hands. ]

I don't want you to be sad, either, Maglor.

[bythewaves]

There is that part in all of us. You have a fire that reminds me of some of my brothers Katsa... and it destroyed them, because they could not, or would not temper it. I do not wish that for you.

I... I will manage. I will find a way.

[survivra]

I have power over myself, even if I pretend...

Even if you pretend, too. Sometimes that helps with making it real.

congrats you just got your first nickname |D

[bythewaves]

I think you do more than pretend, little firebird. But I suppose I can try.

omg that's adorable..........

[survivra]

Little f—

[ she's so startled by the nickname that she actually claps a hand over her mouth when she finds herself repeating it. it's jarring, both the surprise in the midst of the tone in the conversation and the urge she has to smile.

she doesn't smile. but she drops her hand and feels a little less—stressed. ]

I don't know what I do some of the time; I hope you know it better. It's always worth it just to try.

you know he is fond of you when he gives you a nickname |D

[bythewaves]

[ Her reaction brings a smile to his lips, but he does the kindness of not mentioning it ]

Then I suppose we shall both have to pretend together, hm?

yells quietly... she's joined the ranks (PET NICKNAMES)

[survivra]

[ it's satisfying seeing maglor smile even if she does not. and that makes things even better, too.

...this feeling, this caring about so many people in the way she does here—it's beginning to become almost terrifying. ]

I suppose we shall. It's comforting, anyway, to know someone else is doing the same kind of foolish pretending.

so far he has a star, a butterfly, and a firebird (Muscovy is just his little one)

[bythewaves]

Mm, I suppose it is always less frightening when we are not alone, eh? Perhaps if we pretend enough, one day it will be real.

[ Lie to yourself Makalaure, and maybe one day you will believe it whispers Curufin ]

he's going to collect a whole lil menagerie

[survivra]

All we need to do is pretend long enough. [ she holds her breath. ] Pretend until we can turn our backs and walk away. Pretend until it is real... or until we've lost ourselves.

If anything, I believe that you will not always be so sad. And you can pretend I'm right.

yesssss

[bythewaves]

Mm, yes, and I will pretend that you do no miss him, eh? And we will both tell each other we are fine. And perhaps one day it will be true.

[survivra]

[ she forces herself to smile at him, though it's a small one, and says words she finally realizes that she means after so many months: ]

You're a friend, Maglor.

[bythewaves]

[ He bows to her, formal, hand over heart ]

And you also, little firebird. May your light burn bright and clear.