eachdraidh | [ TEXT; BOTH COURTS ]

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[ TEXT; BOTH COURTS ]

[Anyone who knows Lancelot will likely as not be immediately surprise that he is sending any kind of message that is written. It is hardly one of his strengths. Still, the message is short, and this way devoid of emotion. Which is best, considering the topic. ]

For those who knew him Faolan is no longer with us.

He sacrificed himself for the sake of a friend.

So far as I understand he will be returned, in some days, by the power of the courts.

He will need space and kindness.

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[ Mithian's gentle voice is somehow something that twists pain further into him. She is sorry for a friend she never knew being gone, and Lancelot finds himself equally sorry she never met him. ]

Thank you. He was a good man. I think you'd like him, Lady Mithian.

[ He only hopes this works. That she still has the chance. ]

[ she wants to ask how is it possible to cheat death but she thinks that perhaps now is not the time for such questions. not when he has lost a friend.]

Is there anything I may do? To help in any way? [ she pauses.] Are you alright?

[ Is he all right?

Lancelot is not sure he is, honestly. ]

I have lost people before, Lady Mithian, yet it never becomes easier.

I am of the belief that it should not get easier. It would only mean that one's heart has grown hard.

Wise words.

[ He still sounds tired, though. Drained of all his cheer and good humour. ]

Yet we are at war. Faolan will not be the last. I wish to protect everyone, yet I do not know how I can.

You are only one man, Lancelot. [ her compassion has her dropping formality for the moment.] Albeit one that possesses great strength and valor. But there are many who feel as you do, who will do what they can to help. You are not alone. We stand beside you, behind you.

[ He lets out a weak, humourless huff at that -- amusement strained by grief. ]

You are certainly better with a crossbow than I am. I would pity the man who angered you while you held one.

[ her words were not said in jest. her brow furrows at his laugh, her worry deepening for a moment before she smiles to herself. she lets out her own, short laugh.]

Yes, but a crossbow is hardly an appropriate for battle. Your abilities will save many lives.

They will also take lives. I should have been more cautious, more aware. I should not have let Faolan give his life so easily.

Do you think that Faolan would say the same? [ she doesn't know the man but surely the man would not want him to blame himself, if he'd given up his own life.]

Perhaps not.

[ But he wants his friend back. ]

I think that he would not want to blame yourself, Sir Lancelot.

[ He relents somewhat at that, sighs a little. She is right, of course she is. Faolan did what he did for Lancelot's sake, to keep him safe. He would think himself only doing his job. He would likely think it madness that Lancelot would would ever regret that Faolan had given his life in service, would mourn him as he does, yet it is so. Lancelot cannot feel otherwise. ]

I know he acted according to his duties, according to what he believed best for this court, but I became a knight to protect and serve. It is not easy to have another give their life for me, that is the role I expected to take myself.

I do not imagine anyone thinks that such a sacrifice is an easy one to accept. [ her voice is quiet.] It has happened and now what you must do is honor his sacrifice, as I know you will.

It will not be forgotten, I assure you. I do not know how I can repay such a thing, but I will do my best. I will make sure it is worthwhile. I will make sure I used the opportunity afforded me, and that Faolan's heroism is remembered by all.

That is all you can do, Lancelot. And he will, undoubtedly, be grateful for it. [ she offers him a soft smile.] And may I ask one thing of you?

You may ask me anything, Mithian, whenever you wish. I would hope you would know that by now.

I would ask that you take care of yourself. And that if you should need anything at all, anything I can provide or help you with... please ask it of me. [ that is the least she can do for him, after all that he has done for her.]

[ The pause is significant before he answers. ]

... Thank you. You are kinder than I deserve. You owe me nothing, yet you are always gentle beyond compare. I hope one day I can help you in turn.

Edited (repetition still) 2015-02-10 02:16 (UTC)

You see, Lancelot. You have helped me. You've given me friendship and purpose. That means more than you know, in this place. So anything you ask of me, I will do what is within my power to provide.

[ That much he does understand. Friendship means a lot to Lancelot, too, especially when his burden has begun to feel heavier and heavier. Especially when his fears and doubts seem to become suffocating. ]

We will hold a vigil. Will you attend?

Of course.

Then that will help more than you know. Nothing can undo what has been done, nothing can make such a thing better, but time will ease it. I have hope he will be returned to us, until then all we can do is make sure his actions are remembered and do what we can to make sure if he is returned... that it is as easy for him as we can make it.

If he is not returned to us then I am sure he will find his way to you. Or you to him. Until then, yes, we will honor him as he deserves.

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