eachdraidh | ✈ fifth snowy flight ❄

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✈ fifth snowy flight ❄ — video (both courts)

[The locket seems to be set up on a counter in a bedroom in the Station. To the side of the screen, there appears to be a small miniature ice sculpture of a pine tree, sparkling from the glow of the fireplace in the far background. Jack makes final adjustments in angling the locket just right to show off his crystal art project as well as his own smirking face.]

Alright, there's a whole ton of you out there that are either old and ancient or from some weird world that never got to know the cool Earth holidays, so lucky you — I'm here to provide you with a little Q&A on what Christmas is.

It doesn’t make any sense. It’s Father Christmas’s birthday but … not his birthday, too? Why is he giving out gifts for some other guy? [ OH, LOOK, one confused Viking is sitting on the bed. Hiccup gestures animatedly. ] Jack, your gods aren’t making any sense, even Loki’s more organised than this.

[The winter spirit rolls his eyes, waving a hand to hush the man behind him, keeping his attention on the locket instead of addressing him.]

The point is: you set up a ton of colorful lights around, you toss up a big tree to get sap all over your fingers, and then you find presents underneath it on the morning of the 25th. [That’s about the gist of it, right?] Look, I’m not big on bribing kids with gifts, but it does get people slacking off from all that serious crap so they can run outside and make a snowman or something. Gotta give it props for that.

So, basically, it’s Snoggletog without Thor. [ Flatly voiced from the peanut gallery. ] Boy, does that sound like a hoot.

No, no. [He finally turns his back to face Hiccup, shaking a pointed finger at him.] Don’t compare it to your aggressive “missing toes” Viking catastrophe of a holiday. [Turning back to the locket:] Just to be clear — mistletoe, that little plant that’s hung up everywhere on ceilings during the month, means you kiss the person you’re caught under it with — it’s not for punching them, as some people believe.

[ Wow, Hiccup’s just going to fold his arms right now. So rude. ]

I could always dredge up the will to punch you, if you’re getting tired of hanging out under mistletoe and suffering the other option.

[ No, he couldn’t. But he can say he might!! ]

Uh huh, sure. [With a momentary deadpan expression, Jack finally just shrugs with a sigh.] Anyway, I know the guy who hands out the presents, been in his secret lair in the North Pole and everything, so if you want to know more about elves — the small critter-like ones who don’t actually wrap the presents — or yetis, caroling and eggnog, whatever, I can fill in all the blanks for you.

[A pause before he adds:] Just do me a favor, be a pal, and run out to play in the snow for a bit, got it?

Excuse you, I am known for my incredibly artistic Snow Furies, Jack. Just because I don’t go prancing around yelling about how great winter is doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have fun.

First of all, I was talking to them, not you. Second, winter is great and I don’t think you understand how—

I’m Jack Frost, I can’t help kissing aaaall the snowflakes because I’m in love with them—

[The bickering continues for however long. Interruptions for questions would be more than welcome at this point.]

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[…really guys? Really? He's not sure if he should be laughing or if he should be concerned, but then again he really only knows Jack. So Hiccup's getting a few curious looks of his own before he bothers chiming in.

After spending a week as a squirrel? Being allowed to talk again is a blessing tyvm.]

Should I be surprised you know Santa? And what's a Snow Fury?

You put together a decent list at least. It's a start but you're missing the best parts. [He might have to keep this in mind to show Sansa later if she's still curious. Bolin, too.]

[ LOOK, A DRAGON. Toothless noses in at the words 'Snow Fury', and Hiccup wrestles his big scaly head aside to peek at the other boy. ]

A Night Fury made of snow. They can get pretty big if you make them to scale.

[That is probably the best way to describe what's happening right now, and it's obvious that he's more than surprised that a giant lizard-with-wings is trying to get some screen-time too. Buddy you are way, way bigger than Mako's tiny dragon.]

Right, why didn't I think of that. [He's not sure what he wants to ask first, and while he's talking to Hiccup he's also kind of eyeballing Toothless.] So wait if you guys don't celebrate Christmas what is there? Yuletide? [Merida had mentioned Yule, maybe Hiccup follows those rules.]

[ Mako's cute dragon is a pipsqueak. A darling, but Terrible Terror sized at best. ]

Snoggletog. Why we chose such a stupid name is beyond me, but there you have it. We all get drunk and exchange gifts but it's not really much at all like Christmas. There are no fat guys putting things in stockings, unless you count my dad putting goodies in my helmet sometimes in the place of Thor.

[He opens his mouth and immediately closes it the minute Hiccup says he doesn't know why the stupid name exists. At least he's acknowledging it's a stupid name. On the other hand…?]

Doesn't sound any different than some of the Christmas parties at my parents' country club, actually. [But apparently it's more acceptable because they're drunk on champagne and wine.]

I don't know, I guess it kinda counts. What does Thor have to do with Snoggletog though? Like…Thor's your version of Santa?

Uh, no. Thor is the god of thunder and lightning, he's the patron deity of my home, Berk. We're Vikings, so we have a whole plethora of crazy gods, but he's the best one.

No I know, I mean. [Sigh. Never mind, Hiccup, ignore him. Now he just has this image of Thor wielding his hammer and a santa hat. No big. There's also the fact that Hiccup doesn't exactly look like a viking, but at least he's polite enough not to say so. He has a dragon. That's apparently a prerequisite.] Why's he the best? Or is it just bias?

Probably just bias. My home is very Huargh! Argh! Muscles and Yak-Lifting and being as burly as a bear. Berkians tend to be loud, stupid and yet more loud on top of that.

Also, Thor's awesome.

I'll have to take your word for it, I don't think I've ever met a viking in person. [But he's spent time in the EHS locker room during basketball games and that can be kinda like the same thing.] Better than our gods, anyway.

[Okay. Okay, he can't help it.] You don't seem stupid. Or burly. Or…[He sort of just waves a hand to gesture to him. Or loud. Argumentative, yeah, but not really loud. So?]

Yeah, that's pretty much how I got the name. A Hiccup is the runt of the litter, you call sheep and pigs by it, too, and I was born premature, so. Yeah, that's a thing. My dad is huge, though.

...Hiccup. [Well. Then again, dude celebrates something called Snoggletog, what was he really expecting?] Definitely not a name I'd pick for a viking but it kinda suits you. [Wow that sounded much less insulting in his head.]

And yet you're the one with the dragon?

And yet, yeah.

[ He rolls his eyes as the offense fritters over him with the same casual undertaking as usual, too accustomed to it on Berk to really bother making a big deal out of it here. He calls for Toothless, and the dragon returns to his side chewing a hunk of fish, momentarily distracting him from the locket. ]

What is that? Did you get into the freezer again? Bad dragon, very bad dragon! [ Toothless grumbles as he argues back, rumbling in discontent about being told off, and Hiccup uses both hands to open his dragon's mouth and stick his head inside. ] You had at least three of those trouts, didn't you? I can see the spines, bud, don't lie! This is why you have to chew your food.

[ Bickering like a married couple, boy and dragon have their own back-and-forth for a few long moments after ('What have I told you about spoiling your appetite?' 'GRAAAUGHH, ARGHRRGH.' 'If all the other dragons got fat for Snoggletog, would you do that too?' 'HRRRRNNNGHH!!' 'Don't give me that face, Mister Greedy.') ]

…it's like having an overgrown house cat with fangs. [He's just watching in fascination, though he's a little concerned that Hiccup's practically climbing inside Toothless's mouth but apparently that's normal.

On what planet are these things normal?

This raises a much, much better question though.]

Uh. How are you…keeping him inside? [Because bro. As far as he knows dragons shouldn't fit inside bedrooms, Station-sized or not.] I mean it's not my business but the last dragon I saw was tiny. [He just makes a box-shape with his hands to indicate Rizhao's size. And there's the better question.]

And if Jack gets too close does he start to melt? [Okay, that's not a serious question at all but nevertheless.]

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Sure, he kind of goes by "North" though. Big guy. Russian accent. Kind of a show off, really. [Very loving and fatherly type, but he won't confess that mushy truth.]

Well, I was gonna try to shove in a few more details but I kept getting interrupted.

North? […] Oh. North pole. Got it. That's almost kinda clever and hey, wouldn't you show off too if you were him? [Because it's Santa.]

Well when you stop being interrupted don't forget to talk about Christmas movies, cookies, and Christmas parties. And chestnuts roasting on an open fire and jingle bells and Frosty and all that good stuff. [So now he's just pulling Christmas songs out of his ass, so what?]

I've tried explaining Christmas to a few people but I think it's better it came from a real source.

Nah, I'm too humble to show off. [BIG FAT LIAR. If he has something to show off, you know damn well that he will.]

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire and Jack Frost nipping at your nose? [Come on. Gotta get a smirk for that one.]

I wouldn't say I'm a real source. I've just seen a little extra. The decorations, the presents, the tree stuff, all of that is a thing to talk about yeah, but as long as people are just willing to have a little fun this month, I'd consider it a success.

Of course you are. [Yeah, and he's the queen of England. Sure, Jack, sure.

He just gives him an innocent grin though in response instead of answering about that particular song. Purposeful? Yeah, maybe. So what?]

You've been around for more than 300 Christmases, and since Santa-North isn't here you're the next best thing. You could probably teach a class about Winterology with a segment on Christmas and midterms on snowball-crafting.

Besides…snow doesn't have to go away just because Christmas comes and goes.

Winterology. That's the best idea I've heard all day. [And a damn cool word! Don't mind him if he just goes ahead and starts using it.]

Professor Frost. Don't be late to class or I'll make you into a snowman. [Chuckling, he runs a hand through his hair, all too amused at this new idea.] And oh, I know. Easter Bunny hates it when I cut into his time.

You're welcome. [Smug? Him? Surely you jest.]

That's definitely a scarier threat than what my real teachers use against me. You show up late, you're subjected to 100 pliés and that's if you're lucky. But at least I'd still have legs. [Easter Bunny too? What even.] So you've hung out in San--North's factory, you know the Easter Bunny…anybody else from my childhood you'd like to tell us all about?

[How dare you. No one is as smug as the smug ice man himself.]

Plea-what? [Dancing might not be one of Jack's areas of expertise.

He taps his chin, considering where to even start, having seen a good number of spirits over time.] Hmm, well there's the Sandman. He's probably one of my favorites. Not a talkative guy, but he's loads of fun with a crazy imagination. [He laughs a bit in thought. Sandy's dreamsand was probably the thing he most looked forward to during nights.]

Tooth Fairy, too, of course. She's the opposite of Sandy — total chatterbox. And if you floss well, she'll be all over you.

[You just haven't been around Ryan enough, Frosty. He will outsmug your smug. He just laughs though.]

Plié. It's ballet...I'm actually on a scholarship at the most prestigious performing arts school in the country. [Dance is important business...but not nearly as important as what Jack's saying because they're all real? Everything he ever imagined. Or grew up hearing about. They're real. He's not going to mention he stopped believing in most of them when he hit junior high but...]

Wow. [Oops, that wasn't supposed to be out loud.] Well thank you for completely blowing my mind. But I guess the stories had to come from somewhere. It's incredible, Jack. You know it's incredible don't you?

Oh. Ballet. Ehh. Never cared for ballet much. So many damn rules and you get smacked if your leg is off by, like, an inch. It's the worst. [Don't mind him criticizing your hobbies or anything.

But he chuckles at the following fascination. He does like it when he finds people who believe like this. Especially the older kids.]

Mm, yeah, I would say I'm incredible. [It's incredible. Not you, Jack. Gosh.] But I told you, there's tons of them out there. Those are kind of the big wigs, though. The Guardians, who make it their deal to protect the children. I'm ... actually one of them now, I guess.

[Even if he only had the title for a little while before he got kidnapped again.]

Trust me, it's not really my favorite either but it's part of the deal. [But that is a skeptical look because yeah, excuse you. But it's fine. Really. Jack can probably get away with a lot more now that Ryan knows what he knows about him and the fact that he's utterly enchanted by the whole thing.

Sometimes it's still hard to wrap his head around the concept of his life basically being a giant fairytale now.]

The Guardians. ["Of what?" He thinks he gets it though so he doesn't comment, keeping his mouth shut even if he just lifts an eyebrow. That had to have been fairly recent, what with the addition of "now."] Oh yeah? Well look at you moving up in the world. How'd you land something like that?

You realize how popular I was back home? [Err. Well, not really. More like infamous for being a little shit, but same difference.] They were pretty much begging me to join, but I'm such a busy guy, it took a lot of convincing on their part to snatch me up.

[It's ... NOT ENTIRELY A LIE. Not entirely.]

[Don't say it. Don't stroke his ego, Ryan, stop it.] Well I can't think of a song for the tooth fairy so I guess so. [Everybody else has songs and maybe there is one for Tooth and he just doesn't know it. But he can kind of fill in the word infamous for himself based on Jack's behavior. There's also the fact that Jack has his own stop-motion animation picture, and his name is the title of a movie starring the guy who used to be Batman.

...yeah let's not mention any of that.]

Busy throwing snowballs at everybody? [Sigh.] So what finally changed your mind?