[Text; Open] -> [Audio; Seelie] Backdated to the 3rd

[asafp]

Fuck me.

[That's it that's the post.

If you're not a member of the Seelie court, that is. After another moment -- or a few -- the audio and the lock switch on.]

[Audio; Seelie-locked]

[The following is the sound of a Glaswegian who is both exhausted and quietly trying to sustain his brittle grasp on reality.]

Right, this message ought to only be goin' out to members of the, ah, Seelie Court. Hoping there's a friendly soul somewhere in the area of Daonna who can help a poor traveler in gettin' to the castle. Supposedly those fluttery lights were meant to drop me off at it, but I guess they got lost somewhere on the Yellow Brick Fucking Road.

Bargained my way into a room at the inn temporarily, but I don't wanna find out how the pig man's gonna make me pay once I run out of currency. I hear one of their orgasms lasts for half an hour.

[All right, Malc, reign it in for a minute. You've got no clout here, and you want these people to want to help you out, right?

Right.]

Any assistance would be [and here he is trying really hard to be cordial and professional:] greatly appreciated.

Comments

[gordianknots]

I haven't heard a Scottish accent since I got here in April, how's that?

[Or at least, Waver hopes that's Scottish, otherwise he's likely said the wrong thing.]

Apologies that you got sucked into this nonsense.

[asafp]

[Well, that certainly qualifies.]

Don't apologize unless you had something to do with it. Although if you did have something to do with this, I've got some very exciting suggestions about indoor plumbing you might want to consider.

What's your name, son?

[gordianknots]

Believe me, my delicate 2014 London sensibilities have been offended by a number of things here, that chief among them.

Lord El-Melloi II. People respond to bullshit titles here, so it's useful. [As always, his actual name isn't up for revelation. Aliases, however, are.] I respond to Titus Williams, as well as hey you.

[asafp]

['Lord,' really? Titus? Malcolm likes 'hey you.' He'll probably use it.]

2014, really? So the Mayans didn't accurately predict the cataclysmic end to our civilization? That's a fucking disappointment.

[gordianknots]

For all we know, it ended in such a weird way that the after shocks are still coming, and that's what will end everyone. Give it time, probably.

[asafp]

Could be worse. I could be under house arrest. Although my house at least had fuckin' cable.

[gordianknots]

And again, running water. Although the Station area has pretty much everything that would be contemporary, up to and including internet access. You can't really send data, but if you've got a strong desire to do nothing but watch very piece of television ever made, it's possible.

[asafp]

[In the background, the map rustles.]

And they've got a Ring right around there. The convenience of fucking fairy travel, eh?

[gordianknots]

All the better if they just had a damn tube between the rings that traveled at a decent speed. Unfortunately, it is what it is, and what it is is ridiculous.

[asafp]

Yeah. With you so far.

There's gotta be somethin' to do around here other than complain about the amenities. I mean, don't get me wrong -- I'd be happy to gab on about the ridiculousness of it all the live-long day, but it wouldn't get me any closer to shitting in a porcelain john.

[gordianknots]

It depends on what you'd like to do, I suppose. You can play into the war shit here, and the monarchs would be happy to have you.