eachdraidh | Video; Dec 3rd; both courts

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Video; Dec 3rd; both courts

Good day.

I'm afraid a mistake has been made. As I understand it, it's the Seelie court which should seek my loyalty, and yet I have found myself among the Unseelie. I intend no offence to members of either court, nor disloyalty to the court I have been placed with, yet it is a perplexity. Simply put, I am left to wonder if this was indeed the intent and there has been no confusion, or if my own confusion is sound. It's...troubling, for reasons I apologise for not detailing.

Similarly, I'm looking for a friend, most likely among the Seelie, if present. He's about seventeen, Japanese, and you'll know him for a foolish innocence and investment in justice. Better still, being terribly easily flustered.

[Giving a name would be better, and it does make it apparent this friend is his Master, to anyone in the know, but it is still even just a little bit safer to keep Tatsumi's name secret. He can't jeopardise the boy's safety.]

Ah, one more thing. I'm a doctor, therefore if anyone is ever in need of medical attention, I am always available, particularly for those outside the courts who may not have access to their infirmaries. I should note, however, my practice may not be up-to-date for some. Although I do promise I don't suck. [He laughs lightly.] -That's right, a name would be helpful, wouldn't it? I suppose it's best to continue with Berserker for now, although I am aware there is another by the name. If that name holds meaning to you, I believe it's important we speak. Perhaps more privately.

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Perhaps there is something else within you, that you are not considering, then.

[For Vanessa knows there is something within them all.]

[He freezes, paling suddenly as his eyes widen. With those words, and their implication to him, in his circumstances, Jekyll is certain she must know what he truly is. How unwise it was to give his true name, of course those of his own era very well could have read the book - in fact it may be all the more likely! In that fear, he entirely forgets to breathe, until he finally means to speak, and finds the first word lost for lack of breath.]

I- I have, of course, put it to consideration, however if that has won out, then it would seem to me that I have not been considered!

...let me speak on myself, if I may.

[For she seems to have frightened him, and she did not mean to.]

I am a woman who has my own secrets. My own curses. Things that claw at me, that if I let them take hold...they would consume me.

I understand why I have been placed here. I have been placed here, labeled Unseelie due to my struggle. The war that wages within me, daily.

[Meaning perhaps that is for him, as well.]

Edited 2014-12-11 04:34 (UTC)

[Now he wonders if he might have been wrong, and she has not read Stevenson's book (if only he hadn't written it). But either way, the words she uses speak deeply to him. Things that claw, that would consume, a struggle and a constant war within oneself, those are all terms Jekyll uses frequently to describe the terror in his soul and conflict within his body. He pauses once more, to choose his words. And for assurance, find the way to set the conversation private.]

...I am deeply sorry to hear of your plight, Miss Ives. If I understand your implications correctly, when you say 'something', you truly do mean a thing. Some other being inside your body. If I am correct in that assumption, the reason is that I share your curse, or one terribly similar. For that reason I am able to sympathise entirely.

My curse is my own. As is yours, I am sure.

[She demurs, ducking her head, pressing her lips together. This isn't easy for her to talk about. She likes to speak in half truths about it, when she can.]

But yes, I do mean something.

So you understand, why I say being chosen to reside with the Unseelie is not necessarily meaning giving in to that thing. It just means you still are fighting. [That is how she sees it, at least.]

If you will forgive me, I don't know that I believe that to be true, Miss Ives, as much as I would like to believe. For myself, that is, as I cannot speak to the precise nature of your own struggle; the issue of which I shall not press against your will.

[He's very much interested, there's some excitement and hope in hearing someone shares a similar trouble. And all the more interest from an academic standpoint. But he knows the horrors of living with such a curse, the fear of revealing its secrets and sins, and so he tries to contain that excitement.]

My other self has overtaken my identity, my reputation, and my soul. The world sees me for him, it's no surprise this world would as well.

But you are not him now, are you. You fight to keep him down?

Or am I misreading you, in that?

For he is not Doctor Jekyll.

No, he is not Jekyll, my demon goes by Hyde. I do fight to hold him back, I must, as he is always present. Though I am certainly Jekyll now, and was when first we met, Hyde is aware of it all. I feel his existence always. ...It's good you should be made aware, Miss Ives. I fear you would be in some danger, for his desire for freedom seems to grow in your presence. If ever I do not seem myself, if I show a sudden pain and should my irides become red, or - or if you should come across a beast, you must stay away.

[The warning is true, as is his worry for whatever interest Hyde seems to have in Vanessa, which Jekyll cannot understand, despite feeling something similar himself. But it is also a way to avoid the question of just how closely they are linked - whether they're interchangeable.]

[When she mentions the 'Hyde' part wanting her, she--there is something that ghosts over her face.]

I have dealt with worse than Hyde, I am sure.

Dark creatures desire me. I... [She looks down, shaking her head.]

I do not know if it something I have always had within me, or due to the beast within me now.

[Is it Amunet, is it the devil...]

If it would be safer for you, in dealing with this Hyde, I would stay away. I do not wish to cause temptation.

My concern is only for you, Miss Ives. He is truly a beast, there is not a drop of anything but evil in Hyde. However, I am able to fight my darker side, it is no simple task for him to prevail against me.

[It's what he tells himself, what he would like to believe, but not exactly true. It's a battle, that Hyde will inevitably win always.]

If you would feel more at ease to avoid me, then do so, I would take no offence. The knowledge of his desire must surely--

[He stops short, pausing to finally consider the implications of that word. It was only repeating Vanessa's own term, but now he considers it, questions are raised both in the nature of Hyde's interest, and the meaning of "dark creatures desire me". What a topic to think or speak on! It nearly scandalises Jekyll, but he must think of it in a scientific sense. This is a matter of facts, after all. The slight discomfort and shock shows on his face, but he presses on.]

They desire you? Would...that be in any particular sense of the word?

Dark creatures stop and stare at me, birds cower in fear.

The devil wishes for me to be the mother of evil. In any way dark things desire, they seem to desire me.

[She presses her lips together, an ugly look warring on her face, before she smooths it away.]

Take that as you will.

And if you speak of this to another creature, I will not hesitate to hunt you down.

[He nods in thought, looking away as he listens carefully. Then it must be all the ways in which Hyde acts. Jekyll's demon desires, and Vanessa's is desired, that sounds a terrible combination.]

I wouldn't dream of it. I know the fear of being revealed. A dear friend of mine wrote a novel after my death, detailing my story, which became exceedingly popular. To be exposed to the world in that way is not something I would wish on anyone. Hyde would reveal it, but you have power over him, his life and the ability to escape into me, without fear of being found, are precious to him. Therefore you've nothing to fear from me in that regard, Miss Ives.

Furthermore, as I said, I won't press you on anything. It is of interest to me for reasons that must now be obvious, and so I appreciate what I am told. But to hear it...I'm profoundly sorry. That treatment is too cruel.

The world is cruel. There is nothing more exceedingly cruel about my treatment than any other creature.

[That is a lie, but it helps her, at times.]

So you are dead, then. You know your fate. There has to be something...soothing, in that.

As terrible a fate as it might be.

[She watches Jekyll again, and lets out a breath.

She is not sure if she should say something, but, then--]

I have heard that you have spoken with a young Dorian Gray.

Not exactly. I did die, but I have since been resurrected. My fate in that is still uncertain, and my final actions of true life have thus been undone.

[He smiles to hear Dorian's name, though.] As to Dorian Gray, yes, I certainly have - he is a fine young man!

He is a fine young man, now.

But make no mistake, in the future he will be like us.

I have not spoken with him of this; perhaps being here, he will not be the man I know, where I reside.

But mark if Hyde seems drawn to him, as well.

Dorian? That doesn't seem possible--

[He stops himself. No, of course it wouldn't seem possible, would anyone have thought it so for himself? Or surely for Vanessa either. Berserker presses his lips together as his face falls, looking down.]

Yet if you say it, through experience no less, then it must be so. ...The poor boy. I hope for his sake you're right and he might avoid that fate here. If you have no intent to speak with him on the matter, neither will I.

Oh Dorian...he does not think of his uniqueness like we do. He revels in it, enjoys it.

Whatever secret he holds, I do not know. But I know the danger is in how he fans it's flames, and encourages others to do so, as well.

[As he did, with hers. Nearly brought her downfall.]

He is so different, now. I can only hope it lasts.

...I fear that is all too similar to Hyde's view. Luckily as if yet, it seems to me he holds a great distaste for the boy. But I must then worry about influencing him badly.

Still, he is very different from what you describe. I suppose all we can do is to pray for him, to remain unmarred by such a curse.

I hope so, I dearly do. I...I enjoy his time. In both forms. I feel selfish, but I would rather he stay as he is, so that I do not have to cut off contact.

It is not at all selfish. To remain as he is would be much better for him, too. The time I have spent regretting what I have become is only outdone by the time I have spent as that monster. None should have to live with such shame and fear. Though it may seem exciting in the beginning. I'm sure you've felt similarly, and I am certain he must too, in the future. To be able to avoid such a fate would be a godsend.

[But then he smiles, something occurring to him in that instant.] Do you love him...?

[Yes he will be that straightforward with it.]

...Dorian will not live in shame, or fear. I meant what I said--as far as I can tell, he enjoys it, wholly and fully.

Perhaps his nature is simply different from ours. A contrast.

[They have souls. Perhaps he does not.

That question, though---she blinks a bit shocked.]

I don't, in truth, know what love is.

[Oh yes you do, Vanessa...]

There is an infatuation, I will not deny that. But my infatuation, however strong, can not be indulged in my world.

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Video; Dec 3rd; both courts

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