eachdraidh | Video | Open to both courts

[The locket first shows the broad wee face of a grinning fairy, who then vanishes to keep it propped up and pointed at a very relaxed, very drunk Sigrid. She is sitting at her little table with a glass and a bottle of sparkling rainbow champagne open before her, cheek resting on a hand spread out on the tabletop. She watches the bubbles in the glass. Another fairy sits atop the bottle and seems to be asking her questions from a list on a piece of paper.]

How old are you?

Fifteen, silly. Sixteen in exactly two months.

Next...what color is your hair?

[Sigrid pulls out a loose curl and goes crosseyed looking at it.]

Never been able to say. Sort of brown, sort of yellow. More yellow. What color would you say it is?

Ah... [The fairy casts aside an entire sheet of the questionnaire and skips ahead.] What do you look for in a romantic partner?

I don't look for them. I mean I suppose if I did he'd be kind and hardworking and want a big family, but I'm not the sort of girl boys like that way, and I haven't the time for it.

Ai! Not true! What about Jon Snow?

Does he? Ohhhhhh... [Sigrid lifts her head slightly, squinting at something off-camera.] I think he's just that nice to everybody, Mee.

That's stupid.

Sort of. And it's also part of what makes him so good. Like Sansa, and Lancelot. So very good no matter how awful things are.

I meant--! Ooh, well. Next! Are you in a romantic relationship?

Uhhhh, no.

Don't you want to be in one?

I don't know. Mee, why are you asking all these questions?

Between Jon Snow and Lancelot, who would you choose? To...share a dance with! [offscreen another tiny voice shrieks, "But they're the same person!"]

Both. Either. And I could protect them both.

At once? [A gigantic toothy grin from the fairy.]

I suppose. What would be wrong with that?

Hee. Heheheh. What would you like to do when you go courting?

I'm not courting. I don't even know what people do when they go courting. I thought it was a lot of hanging out of windows and dropping notes and things. Maybe kissing, if Da let me. I've never been kissed. I wonder how tongues get used when people kiss. I've only heard there are tongues and it sounds horrible. Like when Tilda used to lick me to get me to stop holding her still. Then it's supposed to get even worse, or so Amma said. She said it hurts every time and there's no doing anything about it. I wonder who thought of that first, say, 'let me put this in there and see what happens?'

Ahhhhh next question! What is your favorite color?

Red.

Season?

Summer. But--

Flower?

Mee, what's Yuu doing with my locket?

[The feed cuts off abruptly.]

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...you alright, lass?

[Sure, she's a lot younger than he remembers her being, but she's still a Bardling and thus deserves some respect.

Also what do Men teach their daughters?]

[Growing up without a mother leaves some holes in her education. Though she can't imagine her father hurting her mother.]

Fine. Queen gave me fizzy wine.

[Still. Ask a midwife or a prostitute or someone!]

Wine. The queen gave you wine.

For sweets. [She buries her face in her arms and it muffles her voice.]

My life is ruined.

In exchange for sweets, the queen gave you wine. [A beat] Very well, then. I do not think you're life is ruined, lass. You are simply drunk and most people know better than to take the word of a drunk man to be sincere. Or woman, as the case may be

Really?

[Bard never gets drunk.]

Really. Their friends may tease them, but I do not think that will be a problem for you. A hangover, however, might be.

I hope it's true.

[She pauses to fling a shoe at a sniggering fairy offscreen. It hits the floor with a thud.]

But what's one supposed to do with hangovers?

Not much, unfortunately. Most innkeepers and physicians will have some cure for a hangover, but all there is for it is to drink water.

I think you've got plenty of time to worry about things like courting and kissing.

[He thinks she's a little young to be tipsy, too. But maybe he's a bit of a fuddy-duddy.]

Thank you.

[She belches loudly and claps a hand over her mouth in horror.]

Sorry. I'm never doing this again, not ever.

It was the fairies asking, [she mutters resentfully. Her face is burning red because a man was listening. An attractive man. So much worse.]

Ah, it happens.

[An attractive man who doesn't have the whole kissing thing mastered himself, apparently.]

I noticed. Wasn't a very nice trick. Did they get you the alcohol too?

[ So he's busy brokering treaties and sorting out contracts for official lands passing hands, all that meaty stuff, but. Bard's daughter is drunk. Thranduil is going to keep this short and deal with it the same way he did when Legolas got a little too merry before his majority. ]

There is Dorwinion wine in the cellars, have the servants bring you a jug.

[ She'll probably pass out within minutes of trying it but, hey, tough love. That's the plan if you want to get wasted, kids. It's for the best instead of letting Sigrid embarrass herself and a bunch of young men in the mix too. Knock her out cold with alcohol so she never, ever drinks this much again.

~~HE'S A GREAT DAD, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?~~ ]

[The Elf watches in fascination]

I've not seen the like of this before.

I don't want any.

[She sounds faintly miserable. She's not nauseous, she's just entirely unaccustomed to the feeling of drunkenness and rather uncomfortable with it.]

[ Flatly; ] No? What a shame.

[ Up quirks a brow. He is the Logic Elf and he is here to make you feel bad about your poor alcohol decisions, missy. ]

If you don't want any, stop drinking what you already have. You look terrible.

How do I make it stop?

No. The queen gave it me because I made her sweets. I thought I'd try it.

The drinking? Just don't do it again. Everything that comes with drinking until drunk? Go to bed.

That's sort of an awful thing to say.

[She looks, and her eyes widen and her cheeks burn when she recognizes Celegorm's mother. This is the worst day of her life.]

I did stop. [Tears sting her eyes and she turns her face away.]

I mean being drunk. Don't like it.

Stop drinking wine and drink water. Sleep. There's not much else for it but time, I'm afraid.

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