eachdraidh | memory | open to both courts

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memory | open to both courts

It didn't make any sense. They stood in front of the automatic doors and fingerprint scanner, while Toki continued to try wrapping his brain around the fact that they even existed in this shadowy hallway. Things like that shouldn't be there in Amatsuki; not only was it vastly different from the Japan he knew anyway, that technology was two hundred years too early to be sitting there anyway.

For all of that, Kon had managed, with Toki's help, to unlock the doors. His friend was apprehensive and clearly confused by the machine, but Toki couldn't even begin to explain to him about fingerprint scanners or computers or anything like that, not at that moment. They could worry about that later, and Toki felt that going through the doors was the right thing to do. He tried to reign in his apprehension; it was just him and Kon here in the hallway, accompanied by Toki's newly acquired floating jellyfish companion, but he had to swallow his nerves.

Everything felt wrong, this was still Amatsuki after all, but--

All other thoughts went right out of Toki's head; the painfully familiar strains of Tōryanse played as the doors slid open. This time, it wasn't the haunting singing of children that Toki heard, but the electronic, wordless melody that played at crosswalks.

It was a crosswalk. It was modern buildings and people in modern clothes and the bustle of traffic and city noise. It was home. Everything was going to be okay, they'd be back home and maybe it all had an explanation but they could figure it out later, they were finally back. He barely heard Kon calling his name as he exclaimed "This is... home! We're home... but how?" even as he began running towards the familiar streets of the city.

His efforts were cut short as he slammed into what he realized must be a mirror. He was still cut off from the world on the other side of the glass, which seemed to be just an illusion after all.

He confirmed that Kon could see the other world as well, but Toki wasn't prepared for what the other boy had to say next. It shouldn't have surprised him, since Kon had an uncanny knack for seeing right through him, but the almost accusatory way the boy questioned him still hurt.

"Just now, you looked... really happy. I could tell you wanted to go back there, right?" Had he? He must have, because it was pure instinct to start running back home, running away from Amatsuki and everyone there.

"I guess I was happy... right?" he said, more to himself than Kon. Was he really that eager to abandon everyone and go back home? After a moment, Kon called his name, and Toki looked up at him, putting on a brave face and doing his best to push his thoughts down and out of the way for now.

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[ After a moment, ]

I understood everything except the jellyfish. Why the fuck was there a jellyfish?

Edited 2014-07-21 03:28 (UTC)

Well, actually, it's a bit complicated to explain.

I've always got time to listen to why there was a floating jellyfish outta nowhere.

It was... kind of the shape of my soul. It just ended up staying around for longer than it was really supposed to.

[ An audible pause. ]

... ya know, of all things, that's not what I'd expect a soul to look like. More like a glowing light bulb or something, but not a jellyfish.

It wasn't something that I had put much thought into, but I was pretty surprised myself.

So how does someone's soul get all... floaty and not-in-them?

Souda, did you have demons back in your world?

... Nooooooooo... we did not.

Mm, they exist in mine. This particular demon wanted to distract us and showed us the shape of our souls. Like I said, it's complicated.

I... I get it, I think. I guess it's not so weird to learn about after experiencin' this whole place.

No, I guess it's not. A lot of people here probably have things back home that would sound made up if we didn't know any better.

Meanwhile I'm from a totally... ordinary...

-- well, shit, it ain't ordinary anymore, but I used ta have an ordinary world.

Used to? What changed, if you don't mind me asking?

Last place I was at? Had pitted me against my friends in a kill or be killed scenario. I bet it's hard to believe, but since I came here, this place has been way better to me. Even with my stupid horse.

[after a few moments, there is a very small "oh"]

It's not hard to believe. I'm just glad that things here are better for you than they were before.

Your world seems very like the station. [ Maglor's voice is quiet and tired ]

Were you happy, Toki?

Mm, it's a bit like the station, at least as far as some of the technology goes.

[There is a pause and Toki exhales a shallow breath] I... I really was happy. For a little bit, at least.

Ah. I am sorry then, that your happiness was so brief. What happened, if you mind not telling that tale?

Oh, it's fine! I mean, it was a kneejerk reaction anyway. It was just, hm. I've been away from home for a while, and there's a certain place my friends and I are... were in, working our way through a maze of sorts. There were all sorts of things trying to separate and distract us.

That room and those doors just didn't belong, you know? They were uh, the wrong kind of technology. Getting Kon to open them and then seeing home-- it was such a huge shock. I thought that I had finally found a way back home. Realizing it wasn't even real kind of... disheartening for a bit.

It's alright though. Even though I didn't have a choice, I really am glad that I stayed.

It would be. [ Maglor nods ] To have such hope, only to have it snatched away. I am glad, at the least, that you were not entrapped in a falsehood of home, for that would have been far crueler. Did you stay for your friend then, or are you still seeking a way home?

I actually didn't even think about getting all the way pulled in to an illusion of being home. I'm really glad that didn't happen either, now. Hm, well, there are a lot of people I care about back there, and I still have things I need to do. Still, if I can, I do want to find a way home, too. Just... when it's a better time to go back.

[ an amused sounding chuff ] Then tis fortunate that it did not indeed.

[ He tips his head quietly as he listens ] Things you need to do and people you care for... aye, a good reason for staying on. You may find, with such reasons to stay, that home becomes little more than a wistful dream.

[He blinks a little, considering] A wistful dream, huh? I never really considered that I wouldn't eventually want to find my way back home. I mean, it's where I really should be.

[ a quiet sad sort of smile ]

If one has little hope of returning home, then one finds their joy in the comfort of new friends, I suppose. In time, the memory of home becomes a quiet ache.

Well, that is pretty much how it felt, being there. Did... something like that happen to you before?

[ A pause and Maglor nods slowly ]

Not... entirely like, Toki. But I can never go home again, you see - back in my own world, that is. So... after a while, I stopped looking for it, and made a new home for myself.

[ It was never entirely the same, but sometimes it was almost enough ]

[He can't help but glance down for a moment before looking back up at the locket]

I'm sorry for just saying it like that. And I'm really sorry that you can't go back home again. You're really strong though, to be able to decide to make a new home for yourself instead.

[ Maglor shakes his head gently ]

Nay, there is no offence taken, Toki. You did not know. As for strength? I suppose it might be seen that way - but when one has little choice in the matter one adapts, eventually. [ or they die - and he could never have done that to his brothers, and see what it cost him, in the end ]

Mm, but still, being able to accept that sort of change and still carrying on with everything can't be easy at all. I think it's pretty impressive.

[ Maglor tips his head in acknowledgement and there is, perhaps, a small smile there ]

Thank you for saying so, Toki. I truly had no choice in the matter, but I suppose there is strength of a sort in that as well. May your own circumstances never be as bleak! What was it like, your home?

[Toki offers a small, but cheerful smile back]

My home? Huh, I've never really had to describe it. Um, I lived in the city, like you saw. There's a lot of really tall buildings all close together, and there's always traffic and people moving around all the time. There's signs and lights everywhere, and you never really get the sense that anything is ever just still or truly quiet.

You can also know a lot of people without really knowing them, and just drift by in life if you want to. Even so, you can make the most of things and live a really boisterous, great life too.

[ Maglor is still and quiet, drinking in the descriptions ]

It sounds a busy place indeed - so different to what I have known. It must be hard, finding a place of peace in a world where everything is always moving. I hope you had good friends there as well, Toki?

Well, it was hectic, but it wasn't all that bad and there were certain times when things honestly did feel peaceful. As for good friends, I had-- there were important people there too, yes.

[ A nod ] Then I hope that you are not too long torn asunder between your homes, Toki. Not here, and not there.

Hah, thank you. As much as I'd like to leave, I also don't want to give up hope that all of us will eventually be able to go back to where we should be.

There is nothing for me back home. [ Maglor shrugs a little ] So for me, at least, the choice is an easy one. I wish they had not drawn so many here who, like yourself, have lives and hopes yet unfulfilled.

Deciding to stay here... that would be starting everything over, again. I hope that at some point, you can be happier here. As for the rest of us who would like to leave, we'll probably just have to keep being patient.

Aye - a fresh start. [ A world of longing in that phrase ] Although I fear it will not be that easy. As to that last... [ He shakes his head ]

If there are any who would heed me I would pray that it be so, Toki - yet, I fear that our rulers lead us astray with their gilded words.

It's a new chance, at least. I hope it really work out for the better, though.

Mm, I don't doubt for a second that the monarchs are lying to everyone, on both sides. They're not up to anything good, but I don't want to rush into thinking I know what's going on with them too quickly either.

That, only time will tell.

Aye - such rulers always have their own agenda. I only wish they would either reveal such or leave us be. But one always needs pawns on the board, after all.

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memory | open to both courts

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