MEMORY || OPEN TO BOTH COURTS

[kilimanjaro]

He doesn’t mean for it to happen. It starts out as just a tiny thing, a few sticks rubbed together until it bursts into flame. Kili smiles triumphantly, dropping the round, egg-shaped rocks he’s found into the middle of the fire. He’s young, only thirty two, just a child.

When he turns his back to look towards home, the fire starts to grow, consuming the small kindling that the young dwarf left around the fire. There’s no pit to keep it contained, nothing to keep the flames from starting to engulf the forest around it. Kili looks back to find what seemed like half the wood aflame.

He reaches into the fire, wanting to reclaim his rocks, but they’re too hot and he withdraws with a cry of pain, his palms an angry red. He’s lucky at least that there’s scouts on watch that spot the fire, and soon enough half the settlement is swarming about with buckets of water.

Dis spots her child in the middle of all of it, no surprise, and ushers Kili back home, tearing off strips of her dress to cover his burned hands.

“Foolish child!” she scolds fiercely, tying the fabric around the burns. “Don’t you know you could have gotten yourself killed? What were you thinking?”

Kili’s eyes brim with tears, his lower lip trembling. “I-I was just trying to make you prettier, Mama.”

Dis stops short, giving him a long look. “Oh?” she prompts, clearly puzzled.

The dwarfling nods, sniffling. “I heard Uncle Thorin talking about when you lived in Erebor an’ you had all this treasure, how you always looked so pretty with all those shiny rocks in your jewelry, an’ Bofur told me and Fili how some rocks have crystals inside ‘em. S-so I thought I’d...melt the rocks to get to the crystals, so I could make you nice jewelry for your birthday.”

Dis’ hard expression softens as she finishes with the bandages on Kili’s hands and draws him into a tight hug. “Oh Kili,” she sighs, releasing him to hold him at arms’ length. “I’m going to tell you something very important.”

Kili’s brown eyes are wide and still sparkling with tears as he watches his mother closely.

“Jewelry is only rocks, my child,” Dis tells him gently, running her fingers through dark hair. “You and your brother, you are my treasures. A shiny rock is only a shiny rock. Family is what is truly important. Promise me you’ll remember that, little wolf.”

The young dwarf nods solemnly and Dis pulls him into another hug. “I promise, Mama.”

Comments

voice;

[goldsickness]

[ Thorin could say a number of things to this memory. Meaningful, heavy, and yet - he feels that perhaps changing from it for now might as well be for the best.

So instead he offers, a tone only marginally amused. ]

I still have difficulty understanding how you ever came to the conclusion that fire could melt rocks.

voice

[kilimanjaro]

[Kili chuckles, sounding suitably sheepish.]

I believed all sorts of things when I was a child.

voice

[goldsickness]

[ It can't be properly heard, yet he smiles at those words. ]

Indeed you did. Thankfully not all of those things had you nearly starting forest fires as consequence.

voice

[kilimanjaro]

[Kili snorts indignantly.]

You must have done the same as a child!

voice

[goldsickness]

[ Thorin's tone is flat in return. ]

I never once did such a thing.

[ Frerin, however... ]

voice

[kilimanjaro]

Oh? Would Mother agree?

voice

[goldsickness]

[ In a blank tone. ]

Of course she would, it is the truth.

reaction/action?

[walkingarsenal]

[A shiny rock is only a shiny rock. He wonders if this memory will get through to Kíli where nothing else has. Its timing is uncanny, their mother's reminder from decades ago all too fitting now, and it gives Fíli hope while he watches over his brother, waiting for him to wake.]

action!

[kilimanjaro]

[He's hardly comfortable, bound up by rope and tied to an armchair, but he's needed sleep and his family has provided a way for him to rest, if anything. Kili shifts slightly while he dreams, unaware that the star he has so treasured is sharing his memories with all of the Drabwurld.

It's only a few more minutes before he finally stirs awake, brown eyes fluttering open. The spell is broken, the madness gone from his visage, though he does appear a bit confused to find himself tied up.]

...Fili...?

[walkingarsenal]

[It was a difficult thing to do, forcing Kíli down, binding him into place to prevent a repeat of his fit. It was difficult because it shouldn't have come to this, because this is Kíli, because it hurt to hurt him.

Yet it had to be done.

One of Fíli's hands has made its way to Kíli's hair, but Fíli pulls back when his brother moves a little more than he was in his sleep. Their eyes meet, and Kíli's features are free of the fury that twisted them into something so unlike him, something horrifying. He does not fight to rip himself out of his chair.

Fíli's voice catches on his brother's name.]

Kíli... How are you feeling?

[kilimanjaro]

[Kili shifts a bit, looking genuinely baffled at his current predicament. Licking his lips, he considers for a few moments, still a bit fuzzy on what's even happened.

Finally, he answers.]

Hungry.

[walkingarsenal]

[That's a good sign, that answer. A huff of laughter leaves Fíli; it's a brief, startled sound, but no less relieved for it. Despite that relief -- and how uncomfortable Kíli must be -- he remains cautious, the fear that his brother might struggle and do himself harm still there. He touches Kíli's shoulder, reining in the urge to draw him into his arms.]

You may need your hands, then.

[kilimanjaro]

[He nods, giving him a tiny, nervous smile. Taking a deep breath, Kìli looks around, squirming a bit. The ropes are a bit too tight and there's slight burns on his wrists from it. He closes his eyes for a moment, trying to recall.] The star...what happened? I dreamed of Mother...everything before it seems more of a nightmare.

[walkingarsenal]

[It was a nightmare, a waking one. Gently, Fíli squeezes his brother's shoulder before he brings his hands to the knots in the ropes to undo them, but silence stretches on for several moments on his end, and he tries not to frown. How can he recount what happened?

That Kíli asks after the star worries him, to tell the truth; glancing up, he gives his brother a searching look.]

It's gone, Kíli. [He hesitates.] But it's only a rock, even if it was a star. You know that.

[kilimanjaro]

[Kili rubs at his wrists once he's free and gets to his feet, stretching out a bit and working out most of the kinks.

He glances around the room instinctively, looking for the star without thought, before Fili speaks and he settles down a bit, licking his lips and nodding.]

...Aye. It's not as important as family.

[walkingarsenal]

[Stepping towards Kíli again, Fíli places his hands on his brother's wrists, brushing his thumbs over the marks left there by the ropes. Then, as their mother has so often done, he tugs Kíli close, arms wrapped around him.

His next words are softer.]

That's right, brother. [And he leaves it at that, momentarily overcome to hear Kíli echo their mother, but smiling in encouragement.]

[kilimanjaro]

[Kili sucks in a soft breath at that, melting into the embrace with a surge of relief. He clings to Fili, letting his brow rest lightly on his shoulder and closing his eyes.]

I'm so sorry. I...I don't know what happened.

[walkingarsenal]

[At that apology, he feels a sharp pang. It isn't Kíli who did anything to apologize for. Fíli let what happened go on too long.

One arm kept around Kíli, he slides his other hand to the back of his brother's head, stroking his hair.]

You're all right. That's all that matters.

[He leans in, his own head tipped against Kíli's.]

[kilimanjaro]

Fìli, you don't think... [he cuts himself off, shaking his head.]

[walkingarsenal]

[A slight frown returns, settling on Fíli's face as he pulls away just enough to look at Kíli questioningly.]

Spit it out, Kí. [Words aside, his tone is gentle.]

[kilimanjaro]

[Kili bites his lip and looks down, unable to look his brother in the face. He's scared of what's happening but he needs some reassurance. He shouldn't say it.]

...You don't think...the family curse? [He finally meets Fili's eyes, clearly frightened.]

[walkingarsenal]

[It would be a lie to tell Kíli that it hasn't crossed his mind, and he isn't sure that he can forget the rage, the betrayal in his brother's eyes, not so soon. They've both heard it, not outright but in murmurs here and there -- a flaw taints their family's blood.

But Fíli answers with a firm shake of his head and another squeeze for his brother's arm, his gaze steady as it locks with Kíli's.]

You're stronger than any curse, Kíli. And we have each other, we always will. Gems and gold don't come close to that in value.

[Not the brightest diamond, not the largest vault of gold, not even the Arkenstone.]

[kilimanjaro]

[Kili gives him a relieved, grateful smile, but fear still lurks in his eyes and in his heart. He wasn't himself, not even remotely, and he's afraid of what he might do should it take him again.]

Promise me if I start acting like that again that you'll make sure I won't hurt anyone?

[walkingarsenal]

[He can see that fear, that it isn't so easily soothed away. Kíli lashed out at them, at him, and it seems that he remembers it.]

I won't let it happen. [Fíli's palm comes to rest upon the crown of Kíli's head.] I promise.

[kilimanjaro]

[Kìli lets out a breath and nods, closing his eyes briefly and leaning into Fìli.] I knew I could count on you, brother. Thank you.

[walkingarsenal]

[Staying as they are for another moment longer, Fíli puts all the reassurance he can into the embrace. Too many days were spent standing by, helpless, and he won't make that mistake again.

When he leans away a bit, he smiles at Kíli.]

You said you were hungry? Let's see about taking care of that.

[They could all use the distraction, and Thorin and Bilbo will want to see Kíli as well.]