δεύτερος ; video/text ; seelie & unseelie

[rues]

once upon a dream ;

[ it's a warm summer evening in the middle of the woods — the same woods that her fellow demigods and one oracle will recognize as the grounds of camp half-blood. a ten year old clarisse, in full battle gear, pushes her way through a crowd of campers, spear in hand. it's too tall for her, but she prefers it over a sword. one of the campers stumbles as she barrels through without so much as an "excuse me" and shoots her a nasty look, but clarisse is too focused on scanning the area for a certain camp counselor to notice. when she finally spots him, already surrounded by a number of their hermes cabinmates, she takes off at a sprint and makes a beeline straight for them. ]

[ she calls out to luke and comes to halt in front of him with a look of frustration on her face, her lips jutting out in a pout. ] I'm not playing tonight unless I get to lead the Hermes cabin. [ her expression softens a bit, her eyes more pleading than demanding. she may not always use her manners, but she really wants this. she's tired of being pushed around because she's only ten; she's just as capable a warrior and a leader as any of her other cabinmates. ] Please? I can do it! [ connor and travis stoll, two twin brothers with lanky builds and floppy hair, begin to laugh, uproariously, clapping themselves on the back as they turn to luke. luke has a grin on his face, laughing quietly, but it's not at clarisse. he looks at her fondly, as though sizing her up, assessing if she's up for such a big task. ]

[ the smile lingers on his face, the brothers still laughing until they're almost wheezing, and clarisse glowers at them with half a mind to run one of them through with her spear or kick one of them in the shins until luke smacks the stoll brothers hard on the backs, pushing travis with a hard shove to the side. this seems to pacify her for the moment, at least. she stares up expectantly at luke, that frustrated and impatient pout gradually returning to her face while luke pretends to mull it over. eventually, he shrugs. ] Sure, kid. Where's the harm in that? [ clarisse's expression immediately brightens and for a moment all she sees is luke. if this were a shoujo manga, there would be sparkles in her eyes and flowers in the background for no reason. connor begins to open his mouth, among a few of the other hermes kids in the background, but luke raises his eyebrow. ] Shut up. Let her lead. And if you sabotage her and cost us the flag, I'm going to kick your ass to the Styx.

[ clarisse rarely shows affection to anyone but her mother, but luke agreeing to let her lead their cabin to a very assured victory has her awkwardly throwing her arms around his midsection while trying not to accidentally stab him in the face with the spear that is still in her hand. ] You won't regret it, I promise! [ and, true to her word, she charges into battle as soon as chiron gives the word that the game is to begin, envigorated with the rush of clashing weapons and, for the first time in her life, being able to give orders instead of taking them. it's like it comes naturally to her, as if this is who she was born to be. for the past four weeks she's fought for the hermes cabin, but she's always felt out of place in the brotherhood of hermes sons. she doesn't share their sense of humor, and she's more violent than, well, any of them. she doesn't know what that means, but she hopes that after tonight, maybe, just maybe, her dad might recognize her. ]

[ they don't have time to forumlate a battle strategy before the game begins, but they don't need to, because ten minutes into the game, clarisse knows exactly how they're going to win it, and her orders come just as aggressively as the way she fends off enemy campers. she doesn't know how she knows, she just does. more than just that, luke believes in her, and that in itself is enough to boost her confidence. she's not just doing this for her dad, whoever he is, but for luke too. she has something to prove, and this is it. she loses track of how many campers she knocks down and knocks out as she clears her the way for her cabin and for herself. despite her size, she's a powerhouse, and before she knows it, she's almost reached the enemy flag. it's taunting her, just out of her reach, just a sprint away. she just needs an opening to make a run for it — but then it occurs to her, as the leader, she can't do everything herself, even if she wants to. she has to trust that her cabinmates will come through for her just as she has for them. teamwork is still a concept she's learning, but she thinks she might be getting the hang of it, and while she holds off the enemy campers, creating a diversion from the flag, another hermes camper, a boy named chris, she thinks, seizes the opportunity she's given him and captures the flag for the hermes cabin. ]

[ the very moment the rest of the hermes cabin realizes they've scored themselves a win, luke pushes his way through the throng of kids coming to pat him on the back and attempting to pull him into a headlock, making his way toward the girl who had captained a ship most thought she'd sink. instead of speaking to her, luke pulls the stoll brothers with him, gesturing they follow as his shadow toward a girl who has her back turned to him, so caught up in the excitement that she doesn't notice them coming. within a blink of an eye, the boys pull her up, which startles her to the point of laughter, but she doesn't complain as they place her on luke's shoulders while the hermes cabin moves to crush in on them, cheering at their victory founded by the hands of an unclaimed little girl. she soaks in the attention, her chest swelling and her face beaming with pride. but luke allows clarisse to slip from his shoulders the moment they make the rounds, the stoll brothers taking over for him by lifting her up and ensuring all can see their victorious leader, as he slips away within the crowd. her stomach drops a little when her eyes search for his and find nothing, but hearing her name chanted over and over raises her spirits, replacing any anxiety she might have been feeling for that split second. ]

[ eventually, she finds herself back on the ground as the campers start to disperse, and it appears as though luke deems she's had her fill of the spotlight, approaching her once again with a smile on his face. with his fingers around her wrist, he gently guides her away to come sit upon a large rock. he remains standing, ruffling her hair with his fingers as he smiles. she has to try her hardest not to blush, but she can feel the faint heat rise to her cheeks nonetheless, her heart beating fast and hard against her chest. ] Congrats, Squirt. You did good out there. That reminds me, I've got something for you. [ clarisse blinks, raising her eyebrows in surprise. ] For me? [ he makes no move to sit, instead opting to remove the armor from his upper arms. clarisse watches intently, almost transfixed with curiosity, as he pulls a boar bracelet from where it's embedded itself into his skin. it's large, bigger than the width of her own arm, but luke doesn't say anything of note to tarnish the gift he's unwrapped for her. he sits, then, opposite her, leg drawn up as he fiddles with the bracelet in his grip. ] The moment I saw it I thought of you. [ this time she does blush, and she prays to whoever her father is that he doesn't notice. he lifts his gaze to hers, pointedly, before it shifts away. his fingers continue to play with the bracelet and she finds it fascinating how a warrior's hands can handle something so delicately. she stares back up at him as he continues, already investing herself in the story it seems he's about to tell. ]

Nabbed it from this guy — I'm pretty sure he was a hunter. Had one of those elephant tusk boards on his wall and all these hunting rifles hanging on these hooks ... [ leaning in, his voice lowers, as though speaking of a dangerous secret, and it sends a chill down her spine. her eyes widen just slightly and she nods at him to go on, holding her breath. ] I saw this on his dining room table. It was full of sh — crap. Knives, bullets, pelts ... It was just sitting there, collecting dust, so I figured I'd go grab it for my girl. [ her face goes redder, and no amount of praying to any of the gods would make it less noticeable. he called her his girl. even if it was a joke... she swallows and her eyes drop to the bracelet. ] It'd look better on her arm, anyway. [ leaning back, his voice grows louder. ] Almost lost my head — literally — but it was worth it. [ he hands the bracelet over to her, sitting in his open palm for her to grab it. she glances back up at him, as if making sure he hasn't made a mistake in giving her a gift. his eyes remain on her, which is answer enough. she takes the bracelet from his hand hesitantly, but it brings a small smile to her face. ] Boars are an animal belonging to the Ares cabin, but — [ luke shrugs, the smile growing upon his face. ] — you're tougher than the lot of them. You proved that today. They're going to be running scared the moment they see you coming for them.

[ clarisse takes a moment to examine the bracelet, and just as she slides it onto her arm, something bright shines over her head — in a vibrant red, the symbol of ares. ]

text ;

[ a few hours later, she feels the need to add her own brand of commentary about something she hasn't thought about in eight years. she never forgot, but when the one person you try your hardest to hate was once the one person you wanted to impress the most, it's not something she actively tries to remember, even if that game of capture the flag had led to her father claiming her as his own after a month of waiting. it had led her down the path to embracing ares and becoming who she is today, but... now everything is just... complicated. ]

in case you were wondering
that was the symbol of the god of war, ares
that makes me his daughter
now you know

[ and, of course, she conveniently fails to mention anything about the majority of that memory being about luke. if she ignores it, maybe everyone else will too. ]

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audio »

[marred]

[ she's met with silence on the other end. it sounds as though luke's hung up, or merely left his locket unaccompanied as he's escaped to another section of his suite. but he sits on his bed, locket in hand, not quite liking what curdles in his stomach at her words. he's always been a talker, spouting bullshit stories for little girls to laugh at or to compel a room into focusing on him while his brothers' sticky fingers pluck extra bread rolls from the dining tables or even pocket something from a store when they've managed to escape camp. the words bloom and die as quickly as the seeds have been planted and they take to the water neither one of them is pouring down upon the earth bed. he's not sure what to say, finding himself out of his element. he can talk kids up from their greatest lows, but he sure as hell can't comfort when it doesn't follow the usual pattern of a child being upset over his or her godly parent ignoring their own prayers and needs. ]

[ he doesn't know what she means by thank you. in hindsight, he did nothing but prevent the rest of the hermes kids from beating down a girl with an ego that was already sensitive and almost buried in the ground, her not quite understanding why it is someone so confident and bull-headed hadn't been claimed by a god by now. she'd done everything in her power to be noticed by someone, but all it had gained her was laughter by the cabin that she would later find repulsive, bullying those who were and weren't claimed by the god of all the random shit left over from the others. the hermes cabin is merely the pitstop, it's never the destination — the weary travellers who pass by never quite remember that it had been the hospitality of this particular cabin that had helped them transition into the camp life. they're merely forgotten, like the unclaimed kids who take up residence in a cabin he wishes would disperse like particles and infect the others. what makes the hermes cabin lesser than that of the ares? he sometimes believed he had found his answer in clarisse's own goading of himself and his cabinmates, whether half-sibling or somewhat-cousin. in the end, he had always figured she'd forgotten. ]

[ could've fooled me rests heavily on the tip of his tongue, but luke pushes it down the ladder of his throat with a great, mighty shove — one that could rival that of hercules' strength. he's still raw and on edge from his own memory being broadcasted. anything particularly sharp he wields toward clarisse wouldn't necessarily be threaded from the ball of yarn she's lit on fire. it'd involve a few threads from his own repressed memories, personally pushed out of sight and thus out of mind on purpose. it's easier to act out of anger than that of kindness, especially when clarisse is nothing like that girl both of them happen to remember. ]

Yeah, well. [ this would be the moment he shrugs, but luke can't even summon the energy for such a small movement. truthfully, he'd forgotten about the moment leading up to her own claiming. he'd remembered, vaguely, it hadn't been too long after her own arrival in camp ares had noticed her and chosen to pop his symbol above her head, but he hadn't quite remembered the minor details surrounding it. it's as though that memory has been buried deep down within him, dropped somewhere far from where the hands of a titan could've tried to clutch at, digging it up to wield as a weapon against his vessel or even his demigod enemies. similarly to the memories he's repressed of mom and annabeth and thalia, and even of hal green, he's buried this particular one deep down. he doesn't like that it's been dug up. ] That's what the Hermes cabin is for.

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[rues]

[ forgetting and selectively remembering things are two different things, and while it's true that she never really had forgotten, she'd never really talked about the night she got claimed in much detail to anyone else. not even annabeth knows the whole story — or maybe she does, if luke ever told her. somehow she doubts that, but it doesn't really matter now. the fact of the matter is, that night was the most important night of her life, and she feels like she owes it to luke, at least a little. if he hadn't let her lead capture the flag that night, who knows how much longer it would have taken ares to notice her — if he ever would have noticed her. surely, in all her time at camp, she would have done something impressive to get his attention, but there are still kids in the hermes cabin who remain unclaimed, even in the middle of the war. ]

[ it makes her wonder what it would have been like if she'd never been claimed, what it would have been like in the hermes cabin year after year after year. she has very little doubt she would have followed luke to the other side; even now, despite having been claimed since she was ten, she harbors enough resentment towards her brothers and her father that some days she thinks the disappointment of never knowing who her father was might have been better than constantly being a disappointment to ares. what good is impressing him when one of her brothers will inevitably show her up? she's fighting a never ending war she's inevitably meant to lose — there may be a few victories every now and again, but she'll always be outnumbered. as much as she believes she could take on a whole army by herself (she does, and would), eventually she'll lose in a blaze of glory, only to be remembered for the one time she slayed a drakon. ]

[ she thinks about telling him she still has the bracelet somewhere, that she never got rid of it, that it's still something that means a lot to her, but she's not entirely sure what that would accomplish. then again, what else there is to say? they aren't exactly in a place where a heart-to-heart would be appropriate. she's not sure if they'll ever be in the right place for that, not unless she seriously changes her attitude. but she knows, as soon as this conversation is over, once they've both slept on it and tried to forget it ever happened, things will go right back to the way they were before. right now, they're both vulnerable, uncomfortable, and entirely unprepared for this. it could be her chance, she thinks, to start to turn things around, but that requires far more courage than she can muster up, requires her to admit things she's still not ready to admit. the best she can do is not make this any worse than it already is. ]

Yeah. I know. [ it's true, isn't it? that's what the hermes cabin was for, for taking in all the stray demigods like unwanted cats and dogs, in hopes that one day maybe someone will come along to adopt them. there's nothing she can say that he doesn't already know, and there's not much point trying to make it seem like something it wasn't. she'd been taken in by him, by the whole cabin, and then just tossed them away, left them defend themselves from the landmines and barbed wire that became her new home. ] At least I was one less kid to look after. [ not that the gods wasted any time filling the hermes cabin to the brim once she left. ]

audio »

[marred]

[ jumanji had inspired the story behind her boar bracelet. it hits him suddenly, the memory of seeing the film, enjoying it too much that he and his brothers took to playing out scenarios where imaginary alligators would slither within invisible rivers to try and eat them whole. and a hunter, much like artemis herself, would be on their tails, tracking them as they evaded him successfully, their legs quick and movements agile. he'd never really told her where that story had come from, liking the way she'd smiled up at him, excited someone had paid enough attention to her to single her out and give her something no other kid could ever hope to have. it's better than being claimed, the symbol of their parent hovering above their head to never really been acknowledged until a quest had been tossed their way. it's something she can keep, even though the luke of today doubts she has, contradicting the luke of the past believing she'd cherish it more than any of the girls from the aphrodite cabin. ]

[ it's something he's witnessed but never truly experienced, his father claiming him with a visit to may castellan's home after he'd taken annabeth and thalia back to his to help clean wounds and pack extra (free) food. why see to it the symbol of hermes shine directly above his head at camp when he already knows he's in the cabin where he belongs? he's the kid who picks up strays from the streets and has a bed for those who leap over the magical border of camp. now, he's just lost; he's hermes without his own map, all those scrolls and letters and packages having tumbled from his grip and landing in the ocean where they rip apart so easily beneath the strong fingers of poseidon. if he'd been better, he'd be able to claim it all back, the letters, the messages, the ability to find his own direction again. ]

[ even now, with everything rocky and as dark and disheartening as tartarus itself, he still doesn't have the heart to tell her where that boar bracelet story had truly originated from. it'd be said out of spite, even if he doesn't want his tone to wrap around the words like acid, burning her skin despite her claiming her flesh doesn't sizzle beneath the words he whips toward her in a bid to see her flinch. nothing he'll say, especially in depth, will ever truly pierce her skin in the manner he wishes it to. her ears are blocked to him, hearing what she wants to, the words he wants her to hear. but he doesn't tell her in a bid to pretend that that girl still exists in the world, enjoying that bracelet she had been so enamoured by, moments before the symbol of ares had stolen her attention and subsequently her. ]

I don't know about that. [ it's annoyingly seamless how he falls back into the role he had rejected the moment he had plotted to see to it the kid kronos had prophesied would come to camp and take the master bolt and helm of darkness down to the underworld. he doesn't wish to comfort her, knowing she'll never return the favour, not even in her softest of moments. she prefers to plunge her spear into him than to sit beside him and stubbornly refuse to accept what it is he's saying to be the truth several years ago. but it's already too much to give her, a girl who truly does deserve nothing from the boy she had packed her bags and never turned back to face when she'd taken up residency within the cabin of ares. did she ever truly care? he doesn't doubt she hadn't. but she hadn't cared enough to ever return back to her roots. his hospitality had been a means to an end for her. ] Chris cried. [ it may or may not be a minor exaggeration. but luke shrugs his shoulder, nonetheless. ] Then again, he cried over anything back then.