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[Hey, look at that. A step in the right direction. He was learning not to open his posts to the side that he was supposed to be fighting. And killing, if her royal glowiness had anything to say about it. Color him not impressed.

But, he was mentally digressing, the locket held in his hand and panned around his brand new shiny wizard's room.

He made sure to get everything in his little scan, showing off what looked like a chemistry set over on the table there and that glowing ball thing that hw as kind of avoiding because scary and everything that was just too cool for school about this room.]

Isn't this great? They gave me a room, totally warded and everything so I don't have to worry about causing earthquakes or setting anyone on fire. Well, outside of it. I could probably still set myself on fire. I'm trying to avoid that. Look, it even has my name on the door.

[Cue him going over and opening the door to show the stylized plaque that was adhered to the door with his name on it.]

Still not entirely impressed with being kidnapped and not being able to go home and the whole trying to kill me stuff, but this... goes a tiny way to making it better. Just a little bit. Ooh, look at this.

[The locket panned back over to a coat rack, where he'd hung up the cloak he'd found when he'd come in at first. It was a dark, dark red that had shimmery silver highlights when he moved it.]

I got a cloak. They're trying to make me a pretty pimp wizard. Hey, hey Radagast. Would that make me Stiles the Red?

[Have a beaming teenager as he turns the pendant around so he can grin into it.]

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Every bit helps.

[ ... well, that's. vivid. ]

What happened?

During the attack on the castle. Weren't you here for that? Freaking huge bear came in and went loco and a bunch of the unseelie crowd were here causing mayhem.

I was, but that doesn't tell me what happened to you.

I got out in one piece. See? All good. Five fingers and nine toes.

...

Hah, kidding. Eleven toes.

[ stiles you little shit don't make him laugh this is serious!!! ]

Maybe I should bring you some band-aids, too.

[Careful. His face might crack.]

Only if they have Spongebob Squarepants on them. Or Batman. I love me some Batman.

[ At least it would fix itself. ]

You don't want the fake tattoo kind?

Mm... no. Tattoos require needles and I hate needles and even if it's just a fake one, I'll be thinking of needles.

[ Snorts. ]

You know they don't hurt that much, right?

[ John you're a Marine, your definition of "hurts" is different than other people. ]

You know that's bullshit, right?

[They hurt like a -------, John. THEY HURT SO MUCH.]

No it isn't.

[ Look, he'll show you his tattoo. The Grim Reaper just hanging out on his arm. ]

Didn't hurt.

... Bet you're a real tough guy, huh?

Let's just leave it at I don't like needles. At all.

I can understand that. I'm just saying -- not quite the same thing as a shot.

No, it's worse than a shot. It's a million little shots all at the same time and then a million more in a series of repetitive evil movements.

It goes numb after a little bit.

[... Really, John? Really?]

Uh huh.

[So much disbelief in that.]

It does.

[ He swears! ]

[Stiles has mastered the art of swearing without actually saying anything, his eyes transmitting the 'that is so full of bullshit, your eyes are turning brown, you bullshitty bullshitter' for him so his mouth can stay clean.]

Right.

[Only not.]

[ He's not lying, Stiles. He promises. ]

Ask around.

Yeah, no. I saw my best friend get one and it was painful for me. I don't need to ask around.

It looks worse than it feels. I promise.

Haha! No. No it doesn't.

[No mentioning that he passed out from watching. Nope.]

[ he is going to shake you ]

At least the fairies aren't likely to bother you about staying up to date on your shots.

Good. Because I'm not getting shots. Ever again. No way. Not even sneaky ones by mom-nurses.

You know you don't make sense sometimes, right?

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