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[smallshoes]

I'm so sorry - I have a problem. We know they've insisted on some sort of war... I don't know what all they want from us, but doesn't that usually mean battles? Against other people? And they have us on different sides, even. I've been thinking about it a lot. Maybe - maybe I'm a disappointment, but I—

I don't know that I'm ready to fight another human being.

[And by fight, she means kill. This may not be an unwelcome sentiment from a fourteen-year-old girl, but she seems very concerned about it.]

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[smallshoes]

[Goodness gracious! Elizabeth, being a sheltered young woman from the late 1800s, has never even heard a string of curses such as the one Alisha's just let out. Scandalized, she blushes all the way to the roots of her hair, and can't help but stammer.]

Y- Yes, it's difficult...! [she squeaks, for a moment unable to say anything else more. She still can't believe what she just heard. But upon considering the other words - the important words - she swallows, and tries, at least, to compose herself.]

That is to say... I believe that defending yourself, and those closest to you, is... the most important thing. [Maybe she's not ready to kill people for this war, but she could do it if she were defending her family, or her fiance. Probably, she'll be expected to. It's still hard to swallow, but— ] You have to be ready for anything when it comes to defending yourself. For our own sakes, we really might be meant to pick up a... bat. Or, or a sword.

And I think that's what I'm afraid of, that it's what I'm meant for. Not defending myself, but other things.

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[aphrodisiacs]

[ as someone who has killed to defend her friends, but doesn't particularly like the idea of killing, she gets it. the probation workers who are now buried out in the woods were murdered out of self-defense. it's not like she really takes those crime shows she watches to heart, learning the tricks of the trade and all that bullshit. even if it doesn't sound like alisha understands, what with the string of curses lacing her thoughts, hopefully the important words elizabeth grasps shows her she does. it's why she's so angry about it all. she wasn't meant for this, either. ]

[ the stammering reminds her of simon, of how he'd always been unsure if he should voice his thoughts. she thinks nothing of it, not even thinking to tone down the vulgarity of her words. she shrugs. ] Tell them to go fuck themselves. Why should we bow to what they think our destiny is? We're the masters of our own fate or some bullshit.

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[smallshoes]

[All over again, Lizzie's face is scarlet at the very idea of telling anybody to - to - that. But her embarrassment doesn't mean she dismisses Alisha's words: she's trying her sweetest to focus on the overarching idea that Alisha conveys. Deep breaths, Lizzie, your delicate sensibilities can deal with this.]

Um, I've worried - that things like this really are my fate. It almost feels like a terrible confirmation... that I've been waiting for.

[Now she's embarrassed again, but she's done it to herself, talking like that, making herself sound brutish instead of sweet. Anybody with such a harsh destiny must be a frightening person. Elizabeth doesn't want to be that way at all, and it shames her to have admitted a little bit about it to somebody, especially a stranger. She says, eyes darting down,] I'm sorry. Sorry! That's such a gloomy thing! It's not like I haven't seen a lot of amazing things...