video; unseelie

[ofmyth]

[If you've been so unlucky as to never run across Thor before, the man who appears in your locket may appear strangely larger than life. If you have met Thor, you know he is actually that large in real life.

He's looking rather pleased with himself today.]

Well met, residents of the Unseelie Court. For those of you I do not yet know - I am Thor, son of Odin, grandson of Borr, defender of Earth and Asgard, and god of thunder. [He inclines his head in greeting. Gotta make good first impressions right?.] For as long as I am here, I will lend my strength to the Unseelie cause, and see this Void overcome completely.

[How that's to be done? Well... let's not say anything that'll make the Monarchs mad, okay?

Instead, Thor wants to figure out how to get everyone working towards the goal in the first place. Y'all are a diverse bunch of misfits badly in need of a Breakfast Club movie, or at least a buddy cop/road trip flick.

You can thank Loki for introducing him to those tropes.

(speaking of Loki... a green-clad arm appears from offscren and makes bunny ears behind Thor's head as he continues.)]

If any of you wish to spar, or to learn how those of other worlds fight, I am willing to teach and be taught. This may be war, but there is honor to be gained on the training grounds. Moreover, I'll buy any fighter who can best me their weight in gold of ale!

[Bring it on, Unseelie. He'll honour his oath, no matter how many people beat him.]

And to any who outdrink me, I'll give a taste of the mead they serve in Valhalla. So potent, it makes strong men drunk with but a whiff!

(yadda, yadda, yadda, says Loki, owner of the bunny ears, now appearing in the background. He rolls his eyes, making talky signs with his hands.)

It is said to bring the favour of the Norns to any who can drink a full cup and walk the length of a room without stumbling!

[Thor holds a tankard into view, and toasts the cup to all watching. The feed ends.

That's the solution to disharmony, right? Drinking and fighting!]

(Unseelie Locked) AUDIO

[gehennawind]

[Good evening one, good evening all. We hope this embarrassing domestic dispute does not disturb.

Paloma doesn't consider herself a vengeful ghost. Conflict is a thing to avoid, not draw nearer to, not attract outside attention to. It's a private matter. Publicizing the enraged screaming of one Edward Hyde is unseemly and regrettable; something must be terribly wrong.

The sound on the locket kicks in mid-tirade. A man is hollering.]

--right mind moves a pile of shit halfway across the world for some petty prank?! Disgusting, worthless harlot! You had better hope that your body is never returned or I will be the one to rip out your throat and stuff it down the hole that remains.

[The (bad, thoughtless, petty, ill-advised, heartbreak-fueled) plan was to keep her mouth shut and let him shout himself hoarse, but Paloma cannot resist the target he's made.]

Call me anything you want. I haven't done what you've done. You're like a child playing with LEGOS. [He won't know what those are. She doesn't care, she's too butt-inflamed.] 'Oh, I'll take off a piece and... put it back where I got it!' Bodies don't work like building blocks! Listen to you. Who's frightened? Tell me you'll carve your name into my liver and feed my guts up my asshole. You've said worse. Go for it. Just go for it.

[There's some incoherent screeching, profanities and hateful noise, and then a thud near the source of the broadcast - something thrown across the room, hits the wall, and falls to the floor. (A shoe full of shit.)] I would rather the other way around, seeing as you are so partial to spreading fecal misery all around the place - why not give you what you so desire? After all, you do so seem to love taking it in your mouth already, you must have a fetish for refuse of all kinds!

Did you-- you did, you just called yourself a shithead! [Laughing bitterly. She hasn't begun to be ashamed of this broadcast, but she will be, and shortly.] There are names for selfish, faithless, unreliable, fish-licking poxed thieves like you in Srathmarbh, but why waste time when we can just say 'Edward Hyde'!

[Gods all bless, the feed ends.]