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truesightI know we're supposed to be celebrating, but does anyone else feel like- you know, not wanting to do that at all? I can't be the only one.
[ as always, Rachel's got smudges of color on her face and her fingertips, but this time her expression isn't bright to match. she scratches at her cheek ( which leaves a bit of blue there, but whatever ) as she frowns, and it's clear she's trying to not look so sullen, but it's hard work. there are some ways this place is way, way different than her home world. but this feels too much like what it would be like if the Roman and Greek demigods really did end up going to war. if the quest failed, and everything crumbled and went to Tartarus and friends were forced to fight friends and Gaia won and that kind of sucks. so she's babbling at the locket network- why? because she's selfish enough to seek some kind of validation for feeling so bummed about this. for not finding that much comfort in a Seelie victory. and maybe also because she's managed to get her hands on a little fairy wine, and she's not drunk, but she's feeling more honest about her less optimistic side than she normally would be. woops. ]
I know the war is important, and unavoidable, but I guess I just thought- [ she huffs a breath ] I got to fight. I got to ride a pegasus into battle and fight, just like everyone else, which I never got to do in my world. And I always thought it was worse, having to sit on the sidelines when the rest of my friends were out fighting. But this- I don't feel any better. [ a beat ] Fighting doesn't scare me, I love knowing I can protect myself in a fight now, but that?
[ another pause, and she's pushing her hair back off her face even though it doesn't really do much to control all those curls ]
I don't think I can do that again. I want to help, I want to keep helping in any way I can, but just- not that. I don't think I'm built for that kind of battle. And I know I can't be the only one that feels that way, but- [ her brow furrows up, like she doesn't like admitting that. ] Does that make me useless here? 'Cause I gotta admit, it makes me feel a little useless. [ but yikes that's depressing. and Rachel Elizabeth Dare isn't depressing. so she shakes her head, lifts a hand like that erases that last bit ]
Anyway. If we're friends, or no matter what if you're a camper - Camp Half-Blood, Camp Jupiter - check in, please. [ :| damnit campers she knows you were all probably way too involved with all of the fighting ] Let me know you're okay. Let's talk. I'm going a little crazy, it feels like everybody's scattered in different places.
[ as always, Rachel's got smudges of color on her face and her fingertips, but this time her expression isn't bright to match. she scratches at her cheek ( which leaves a bit of blue there, but whatever ) as she frowns, and it's clear she's trying to not look so sullen, but it's hard work. there are some ways this place is way, way different than her home world. but this feels too much like what it would be like if the Roman and Greek demigods really did end up going to war. if the quest failed, and everything crumbled and went to Tartarus and friends were forced to fight friends and Gaia won and that kind of sucks. so she's babbling at the locket network- why? because she's selfish enough to seek some kind of validation for feeling so bummed about this. for not finding that much comfort in a Seelie victory. and maybe also because she's managed to get her hands on a little fairy wine, and she's not drunk, but she's feeling more honest about her less optimistic side than she normally would be. woops. ]
I know the war is important, and unavoidable, but I guess I just thought- [ she huffs a breath ] I got to fight. I got to ride a pegasus into battle and fight, just like everyone else, which I never got to do in my world. And I always thought it was worse, having to sit on the sidelines when the rest of my friends were out fighting. But this- I don't feel any better. [ a beat ] Fighting doesn't scare me, I love knowing I can protect myself in a fight now, but that?
[ another pause, and she's pushing her hair back off her face even though it doesn't really do much to control all those curls ]
I don't think I can do that again. I want to help, I want to keep helping in any way I can, but just- not that. I don't think I'm built for that kind of battle. And I know I can't be the only one that feels that way, but- [ her brow furrows up, like she doesn't like admitting that. ] Does that make me useless here? 'Cause I gotta admit, it makes me feel a little useless. [ but yikes that's depressing. and Rachel Elizabeth Dare isn't depressing. so she shakes her head, lifts a hand like that erases that last bit ]
Anyway. If we're friends, or no matter what if you're a camper - Camp Half-Blood, Camp Jupiter - check in, please. [ :| damnit campers she knows you were all probably way too involved with all of the fighting ] Let me know you're okay. Let's talk. I'm going a little crazy, it feels like everybody's scattered in different places.
