eachdraidh | 02 ♘ video ♘ locked to seelie (backdated to around the fifteenth)

[ Cullen cannot quite say that he's particularly in the mood for anything as of late. There had been the matter of the silver sickness earlier in the month (something that still troubled him as to how much it seemed to resemble Red Lyrium's corruption, and though it had vanished, it still troubled him). And now, there was this. ]

For those of you that knew him, Ser Tarz, the Knight of Dawn, passed away. [ As it would seem common with the seelie champions as of late. ] For those that did not, as a Knight of the Golden Cadre, Ser Tarz was a man who believed deeply in this Court's cause, even until the end. Some found his methods... harsh... [ to say the least ] yet he did his part in always reminding us what all of this truly means. What was truly at stake.

[ Something that he could never forget. And though he couldn't ever fully believe in the Seelie cause... If there was truly no other way... ]

To honour his memory, I will... try to impart some of his wisdom.

[ Though he might not fully agree. ]

I know that there are many of you with... comrades in the opposite court. Perhaps they were friends from your own world, or perhaps you met them here during a less dire time. [ A sigh. ] Perhaps they were closer than that, as your family, or as your lovers.

[ His face hardens. ]

It would be... kinder to forget them. Punishments for fraternization are harsh in our own court, and who knows exactly what tortures the Unseelie rulers might inflict on those you profess to care about. Do what you must to keep others safe. For one day, you might very well see the face of your "friend" staring at you from across the battlefield.

[ It is not a lie, far from it. But it might be... better for the new arrivals to hear it, to understand.

Somewhere, he hopes that they understand the message: be discreet if you must. ]

That is all that I wish to say.

[ Wear the mask, but do not become it. As he closes his locket, he cannot help but wonder yet again what this war will make of him. ]

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[ It was something that he'd had to come to terms with, what had happened with Meredith, and what he'd allowed to happen.

He sometimes worries that it is much the same here, trading one leash for another. That his cause is unjust. And perhaps it is those doubts that keep him looking for another way.

Well... doubts and his friends. ]

They did make you stand out more than some. But, Varric made it rather hard to forget any of the Champion's friends.

[ Save for Anders, who he did not speak of. ]

I suppose that I do. [ For one thing, his hair is not quite as curly, which surely has nothing to do with any hair care product. ] I've been here for almost a year and a half, now.

Guard-Captain Aveline was also here during that time, but she is... gone now.

[Ah, Varric. The mention is enough to remind Fenris of how he misses the dwarf's stories. Unfortunate that the last letter Fenris received from him was far too somber to include any of his usual tales of fancy.]

So long? How strange. I'd thought... Though perhaps it was a stretched truth? Varric had mentioned in one of his letters that you were a subordinate of his. Following his...erm. Voluntary dwarfnapping...

[Wow, out loud it sounds even sillier that it looks on paper. He'd use other words, but Varric was never one to detail his circumstances succinctly, without punctuation from some dry humor.

Fenris clears his throat.]

Erm. But you say you've been here, and that's...

[Another thought bumps into his mind while he is pondering this conflict, and he mutters it in aside.]

Good that she has returned. If Aveline was not with Donnic, I can only imagine him having been quite troubled.

He said-- [ For a moment his tone is one of disbelief when it occurs to him that is exactly something the dwarf would say, and instead it shifts to irritation. ] --of course he did. [ a sigh. ] I was the Inquisition's commander, and Varric was... fond of telling me that if I continued to frown, my face would get stuck.

[ The more he speaks of them, the more he is reminded of how he misses them all. ]

Time does not quite work the same way here as it does in other places. For instance, Hawke's sister is here when I clearly remember her having a brother, and Aveline did not recall the years we worked together rebuilding Kirkwall.

[ And back to the topic of Aveline. ]

I... suppose.

[ But truthfully, he does not quite believe the idea that she has returned to Thedas. Not with some of the rumours that he has heard, of those left to drift in between words, in a place little better than the Void.

Then again, no one could be truly certain now could they? And so, he says nothing further on her. ]

What of you? How are you... adjusting to things?

[Fenris chuckles at Cullen's reaction. He has never seen the mean speak in such a way before. It's rather revealing, and he wonders what he might have missed before with the man having held his role as a professional with far greater importance in the past than he appears to now.]

He's said similar to me before as well. Though as has Isabela. I'm not certain why they are so concerned with my facial expressions.

[Or, really, he's actually too dense to realize that they're attempting to encourage him to not be so angry as his friends, but no one has pointed that out to Fenris yet.]

You suppose? You seem uncertain.

[That's usually never a good thing.]

I'm...all right. It's a fair amount to take in at once...but I don't suppose the truth of it feels any more comfortable as time progresses. It's a war. Another one.

[He doubts it needs to be articulated how tired he is of them.]