unseelie; video.

[survivra]

They're going to take our power, one by one, and the lives of everyone here. I don't consent to live like this. I don't know about worlds being eaten in our homes or being born again later, and I don't care. Our lives are being ended as they are now.

I don't like to kill needlessly, but it will keep happening—if you meet someone who wants to let that thing destroy everything, including you, then you should find your chance and stick a blade into their heart.

[ she hurls her locket at the wall, and the video hits its target and shuts down. ]

Comments

[survivra]

What.

[ She snaps open her locket when she picks it up and just as sharply snaps her reply to Alice. Katsa is clearly and obviously on edge. ]

[digophelia]

Calm yourself. You're not good to anyone worked up like this. You need to focus on the future.

[survivra]

[ She throws a hand into the air, and her voice rises in pitch—and rather in hysterics. ]

I am! In fact, I may as well be the only one! There's not going to be a future. No future to make or break any promises about, because what are we doing to change that? Waiting for our High Majestic Lord King to give us orders on how to proceed?

[digophelia]

[ Alice is calm -- unnaturally clam. ]

As if they would know how to solve that and nor is it the solution. It's better if we take matters into our hands and find out for ourselves. No one can amend this situation, only us.

[survivra]

Yes. [ Her response is fervent, almost desperate. ] That's what I mean. I don't care about wars and courts and orders, but I want to live. I'll do whatever it takes, and I want to start doing it now. With anyone's help or without it.

[digophelia]

Start at the beginning.

[ She is still far too calm, despite her worries, despite her fears what this will have on her lover. ]

This is a single day in which you are unsure of yourself and your fate. This day will not dictate you for the rest of your days here. It does no good frightening yourself.

But this must is clear -- within you is the power of your world and the power of this world. If I may be bold to suggest, learn how to use it in any way possible and keep it close. They will want it, they will want to use it against you. Don't let them. You will survive this.

[survivra]

[ The fear and anger continues to wash over her, and Katsa doesn't know what to do with it. She flounders but closes her eyes and tries to breathe. She has been unsure and afraid before. She has conquered it before.

Pretend, she tells herself. Alice said survive. That is her Grace. Not killing. Survival. Pretend that you believe her when she says this, Katsa thinks. Believe in the strength of your Grace. ]

You mean my shard. [ She curls a hand over her chest. ] They'd use it against me like they did with Ariadne.

[digophelia]

[ Alice doesn't like the word "shard". She'll never say it.

But as much as she hates it, she knows it's apart of the key to this world. She remembers from a year ago, about the great gem. ]

Yes. That is a strength, no doubt. But there's more to you than that rock, as well.

[survivra]

[ She snorts and turns away so that Alice can't see her face. ]

My Grace. For all the good it does.

[ What other strengths could she possible have? ]

[digophelia]

Why wouldn't it be?

[survivra]

I can kill, and I can keep myself alive, far more easily than most can. But if I can't help others or do something to stop us all from dying in such little time as the hills only know, then what's the use of it? They won't get what's mine to give them power; but that's all I can promise, and in the end I don't know what other good it will do.

[digophelia]

Who says that you cannot help others? What is wrong with a promise?

[survivra]

Because promises can easily be broken, and because I don't know how to help.

[ it's all bursting out of her now, bubbling from behind the gates where she usually keeps herself so carefully closed off for fear of her own anger. now that they're open Katsa's frustration is loud and helpless. ]

I'd fight them myself if I could, but I can't. And we don't have time to waste.

[digophelia]

That may be so, but are yours easily broken? Have you so little faith in yours?

You do not have to fight every one of them. There's only so much you can do and fighting only works in half of these situations. As tempting as it is to cloak it in an army, it's more than that.

[survivra]

Yes, I have little faith in my promises. How am I to know I can keep it when I don't know what the future holds, if there will be one at all?

[ She lets out a breath, long and frustrated and loud. ]

So what would you suggest?

[digophelia]

I'm going to make a future.

I will keep the rock inside of me and not let it fall to anyone's hands and I will use it to stop the Void. I will fight to protect my friends, children, and lover.

I will not live in fear and let this control me.

[survivra]

I don't know how to do that. Even if I pretend that I have the strength, I—I have nothing. And that leaves me nothing and no way to control it. And you're a fool if you think I have anything else.

[digophelia]

You have more than you realize.

[ This is an oddly familiar conversation, she's had it numerous times with Maglor and Lancelot and has yet to back off. ]

Your mind, Katsa, your mind, memories, and free will. Without any of those, then you would have nothing. Of course you can control it, it's your life, no one else's.

[survivra]

I know they are mine. I would hurt—have hurt—those who try to take them from me. But I am not so stupid as to think it would be impossible to lose them again. That's why...

[ Why she's afraid. Why she wants to fight now and end it before it gets any further. ]

[digophelia]

Only if you believe so.

[ Mind again--memories once more. She couldn't stop the Dollmaker from warping the minds of those children, perhaps she can still try and stop the minds of others being warped around her. Out of all of this, she remembers why she disliked Reynard so much: his actions almost reminded her of Bumby.

If only there was an easier way to sow them. If only.

A mind could be saved if one was strong enough, if they went through their own rabbit holes and in their own Wonderlands. But all of that is so hard to convey for her. She simply believes in affirmation is enough. ]

Fight to keep them, Katsa, fight to stop all of this from coming to our homes. Don't be afraid.

[survivra]

Running isn't an option this time. So yes. I will fight.

[ She does not have anything more to say about being afraid. She is afraid. But she has no choice but to fight, and that she knows how to do, so she will continue as fiercely as she can.

Katsa waves a hand at the locket, a silent thanks that she cannot voice. ]

That's all.

[digophelia]

Then be confident in your own skills. It isn't over yet, it won't be.