o1. spider | audio; both courts.

[debts]

I keep thinking of this story.

[ There's nothing particularly guarded about the way Natasha sounds. Lazy, maybe; a little mildly amused. ]

Once upon a time, there was a proud and warlike tsar— [ A short pause, then a correction. ] —a ruler. His name was Dadon. When he was young, he invaded and destroyed neighboring lands, taking them for his own. When he grew older Dadon wanted peace, but now his enemies sensed his weakness and it was their turn to wage war on him. He asked for help from his court magician, who gave him a golden cockerel. If any enemies approached, the bird would crow, and because the tsar was pleased he promised that he would give the magician anything he asked for.

Dadon's people lived peacefully for two years. The bird did its job whenever there was danger. One day, the golden bird cried out louder than ever before, so the man sent a great army under the command of his eldest son. Eight days passed. When the bird crowed again, his son and their army weren't back, so he sent out his younger son and another army. There was no news again for eight more days.

He was worried. The bird crowed again, so he went to go investigate this personally, with an army of his best warriors. After several days, he came across a battlefield where both armies and his two sons lay dead. At the edge of the field, he saw a tent with a woman of stunning beauty inside. Her name was—

[ A beat. ]

—you know, I don't think I remember. Her title, though, was the Queen of Shamakha. She invited him inside his tent and Dadon fell in love with her. He took her home, back to his kingdom.

When he did, the magician was waiting for him at the gates. He asked the tsar to pay for the golden bird by giving him the Queen of Shamakha. Angry with the request, Dadon hit the magician with his sword, wounding him fatally. At that moment the bird swooped down and pecked Tsar Dadon to death. And the Queen of Shamakha disappeared, as if she had never been there.

[ Natasha huffs out a laugh. ]

Sorry. Maybe that was too obvious a moral. [ And just like that, the audio abruptly ends. ]

Comments

voice;

[debts]

[ Mildly, off-handedly: ]

Lived free, probably.

[thebreakingwave]

Good.

[ ...because that's his concern in this whole tale. He feels bad for the people of the king, but it's the bird that troubles him.

It might also be worth noting that Harry is often seen in the company of a crow. ]

[debts]

Too close to home?

[ Which is not, actually, as pointed a guess as Natasha makes it sound. ]

[thebreakingwave]

Probably, but I hope not.

[ There's a shuffling sound, as if he's getting comfortable. ]

Would you like a story in return?

[debts]

Does it have birds in it?

[ As if that could possibly be a dealbreaker. ]

[thebreakingwave]

Not usually, but I could add in an owl or two?

[debts]

Let's hear the owl free version. Then I'll decide.

[thebreakingwave]

Once upon a time, there were three wizards, three brothers, and they were out on a long, long journey and they came to a river that was fast and deep and dangerous. They used their magic to cross and it was easy, but Death felt cheated and came to them and told them that he was going to give them each a great gift for being so mighty.

The first brother was afraid of Death's might and asked for the strongest wand so he could fight Death. He got it, but the wand can only remain true if won in battle and it kills its owners.

The second wanted to humiliate Death and asked to bring his loved ones back from the dead. He was giving a ring that let him talk to those gone beyond the Veil, but they're not really back. He spent too long looking back at the dead and didn't live.

The last brother asked only to keep walking towards his journey and go on without Death watching him and he was granted a great cloak that kept him invisible. It never aged, never got thin, but it kept him safe and hidden. He went on to have a family and died an old, old man.

[debts]

[ There's a long pause before she says anything. ]

Well, now I want to hear what it sounds like with the owls.

[ As if that's what she gives a fuck about. ]

[thebreakingwave]

The exact same, except before they cross the bridge one brother asks the other, "What do you get when you put a bee in front of an owl?"

And the eldest scowls and refuses to speak, although he knows the answer is 'a bowl'.

[debts]

See, I knew that story would be better.

[thebreakingwave]

Funny thing, the last time I told it with the owl part, someone threw a cushion at me.

[debts]

I'm all out of furniture.

[thebreakingwave]

I am overwhelmed with relief.