eachdraidh | video, open to both courts (action if you are at the barrel)

[ Alice has been at the Barrel for a few weeks now. No one's asked her to cook and clean, but it's been a bit of an engraved habit brought over from her time in London. It's only through getting children's clothing and interacting with the nearby town that it's been plaguing the back of her mind. Unlike the last time she's popped on the lockets back in December, Alice looks healthier, but she is still pretty thin.

As usual. And as usual, her white rabbit is sitting there beside her, munching away at a bowl of food. She's not good at public speaking. ]

Hello.

These may be strange times to open a dialogue about this subject while both of our courts prepare for another skirmish. There are plenty of natives here of various ages who have been hit the most by war, especially children. I used to be the maidservant of an orphanage back in Whitechapel London.

[ Her face only flashes with a hint of pain when she mentions it. ]

Houndsditch Home for Wayward Youth—if you heard of it. And the children there came from similar backgrounds, that they were all traumatized and lost family either by sickness, death, or murder. These children are often overlooked, sometimes they are swept up by those with ill intentions and treated even worse. But they are still children and they still have pieces of their innocence left.

I may not have the resources nor the... capacity right now to replicate that orphanage, but I still want to help the youngest natives here have the smallest comforts like food or clothing. I've only had a handful of opportunities in Redgate and the Station to make good on my word and clearly I need the additional hands.

In addition to natives being sent away from the path of war, I hope that there can be a way to provide resources for them or find them the appropriate care somewhere down the line. I know that it is silly to think of such a thing when all the adults in this world are preparing for battle, but they are so young and they deserve so much more while they are being guided to safety.

But if I were to oversee these things, I reserve the right to be very picky. The children I cared for weren't even spared from the cruelty of adults, even the proprietor of that orphanage.

Surely my friends will be thrilled if I focused my attention on children rather than them. I know they must tire of my nagging.

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Oh, I'm sorry. I've been rude. [He gives a quick bow of his head.] I'm Emil Castagnier. I've really enjoyed meeting you, miss. And even if it's a debt, I still think it's great of you to do all of this.

My name is Alice. Alice Liddell.

[ Oh, no, compliments. She still doesn't know what to do with them. ]

Emil, then. You seem very young, yourself.

[She shares a name with the sadist. But he decides not to mention that. It's rude, on top of being a long story.]

Oh, I'm 16. Kind of. [It comes out before he can even think about it and he rubs the back of his head.] It's... really complicated. But I'm 16 enough. I just haven't been...conscious very long.

Are you some sort of spirit, too?

[ That's the only thing she can think of that would explain that sort of admission. ]

Me?! Oh, it's nothing cool like that. Actually, it's a little scary. There's another me, another personality I guess. But the thing is, I'm the... lesser one. The other me is Aster. He's pretty much the opposite of me and he doesn't really like me, either. We think I've only been 'alive' for less than a year.

That does not sound scary.

[ Although, to be fair, Alice has heard these things in Rutledge plenty of times; a split personality in another patient was more or less their ability to flip on dime. The concept is frightening for some and for Alice, not unheard of.

She just assumes that it has something to do with the mind rather than the spiritual. Even then, who is she to judge? ]

But are you not you? And not another extension of someone else?

Edited 2015-01-24 22:14 (UTC)

[He admires her even more for her reaction. She isn't scared or thinks it's strange - that he's strange. He relaxes a little bit.]

I don't know... Back home, we noticed that I was losing my memories more whenever it happened. So they thought it was possible I'll end up disappearing.

Memories are not always entirely lost.

[ Hilariously, that strikes a chord with her. ]

And you cannot disappear, not entirely. You will always exist in your mind, when everything else seems like that you won't return to yourself and your memories won't be restored, they lie within the deepest corners of your mind.

[He's still afraid - he's always afraid - but she speaks so confidently about it that he can't help but believe in her.]

Then... I just have to be stronger, so I can pull those memories back?

Strength is always a good thing to possess to recover the truth, yes, as well as your will. What anyone attempts to erase from your mind is not gone forever.

[ She hates the fact that this even came up and that he has to address it. But if one were to recover their memories, Alice can't tell them how. They have to go to their Wonderlands to fix it. ]

Then I'll work harder to get stronger. I want to be here. It's just easy to forget sometimes...

[He laughs weakly and rubs the back of his head.]

Sorry. You barely know me and I wound up telling you something like that. But I really appreciate your words a lot. You're really wise. I thought you must be from your pictures.

I am not wise, I just know this. [ Like she'll admit to struggling with memory loss. ]

You will find your way; everyone has a role to play in this war, even the smallest and often over-looked role.

[ She was told this months ago and since then, she's taken the words to heart. ]

Th-Thank you. I want to protect people here. It isn't fair that everyone is getting caught up in this war. Like I said, I don't care about sides. I just care about the people getting hurt. So somehow... somehow I'll protect them.

[His face brightens.]

I can't wait until we can work on the orphanage together. Even though it's a sad thing, it doesn't have to be a sad place. I'll do my best to see smiles come back.

You don't have to thank me. [ Alice, still struggling to accept compliments. ]

You will have to do what you can to stay out of trouble in the meantime if you want any of that. [ No fighting or wars; it's a kinder way to say "stay alive". ]

[She really is bad at compliments. He'll try to remember to word them better for her. He doesn't want to make her sad when he wants his new friend happy.]

I will. Or, well, I will. Aster will probably fight a lot. But he's good at it, so he'll be okay. I'm more worried about anyone he fights...

[At least he knows better than to fight Emil's friends. Probably. But it's still a general worry.]

Then let him.

[ She tries to use the red queen as an example; that's somewhat of the same, right? ]

Eventually, it will not be as effective as it was before. There is also nothing a confrontation won't fix.

[ All the while, Alice sees this more from a psychological aspect than a spiritual one. ]

[Emil just has many odd problems.]

A confrontation can fix things...?

Show them who is in control and put them in their place.

I've never stood up to him before. I only ask him for help when I'm scared. I know that's bad though.

I cannot claim to know that aspect of yourself, only offer advice from experience. The dark half of your mind can be your enemy or it can be your solution. You just cannot allow it to push you around.

Wow, you're really ama-- [Oh right she doesn't like compliments. She turns a little red.] Sorry! But I mean, you really are so helpful. When it gets hard, I'll remember that you're cheering for me. Thank you, Alice.

[ She's a little too empathetic for her own good, isn't she? ]

You're welcome. Though really... Do not thank me until you are successful.

I've never had many people who supported me, so... I want to thank you right now for that. That's all.

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