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[ luke doesn't need to see to his cows to hear them chat about it, percy jackson leaving, of how ero would make up a romantic but sad tale about two lovers that would only drive luke to roll his eyes. he's gotten his own little package from percy; though maia sniffs it and paws at it, he doesn't open it. ]

[ after losing too many people within his life, he still isn't sure how to cope with loss. what he does know, from years of being the one many sought out to express their own sorrows to at camp, is how to console — or at least get someone to laugh a little through the tears. ]

Where are you?

( she debates texting luke individually -- percy has always talked of him highly, always clumped him under best friend, and she figures if anyone is taking it harder than her, it's him. maybe she's selfish in that she doesn't, because she doesn't really feel like doing much of anything other than sitting in her bed and feeling sorry for herself. feeling alone for the first time since she's been here.

she also debates not answering, because she's not sure she can handle anyone pitying her, but her adoration of luke wins out. our room, she says, before manually deleting it. it's not percy's anymore, is it? )

My room.
Wanna loot through Percy's things with me?

[ expecting a rebuff, that's all he needs to know to be on his way. ]

Speaking my language.

[ and with a tiny, red fox leading the way, he chases after maia as they take the very short route to percy's room — or annabeth's. neither of them are entirely certain, nor do they really care about the specifics as maia scratches at the door before he nudges her with his foot. shuffling aside, she waits impatiently for him to unlock the door — with a hand hovering over the lock, instead of acting as a mortal does and merely twisting the knob. ]

[ before even waiting for permission to enter, maia skids over the threshold, runs around annabeth's feet, before she takes a great leap up onto the bed and curls up near the pillows. luke ignores her, closing the door behind him, as he approaches annabeth. he tries to not act any different, as though the loss of a boy who had believed too much in luke has just departed from the drabwurld. after feeling the grief of losing annabeth twice before, he doesn't welcome it to embrace him now. in true luke fashion, he swats it away, fighting it, as he, as he had years before, focuses on someone else instead of himself. ]

[ perhaps he should glance around the room, feigning assessing it for their looting, but he merely looks at her. with his expression as soft as his voice, ] Hey.

( it's annabeth, still in her pajama shorts and a camp halfblood-hill t-shirt that sits too big on her, looking tired as the day is long, cleaning up some things around the room like she's expecting it to be nice and neat when percy comes home. though the better part of her brain hisses he isn't, and annabeth tries to accept it without a hint of doubt, something in her brain tells her that percy always finds a way to beat the system. that percy will come back soon, because that's who he is, never one to listen to the rules. always one to come home.

athee eyes the duo suspiciously from her spot on the bed ( another person to play tricks on ), before flapping off the bed with her wings fluttering, moving in to smell luke's pant leg. annabeth follows suit, sidestepping athee, wrapping her arms around luke's neck automatically -- maybe a little misplaced, maybe a little awkward, but there. she tries to tell herself it's more for luke than anything, but she's not sure if that lie is convincing anyone. )

Hey hey. ( she says, a little too cheery to be natural, pulling back with her best shot of a smile on her face. ) Have you met Athee before? Percy might have -- ( brought her, but she stops herself. even saying his name hurts. )

[ he looks down toward the dog sniffing the leg of his jeans. the moment he looks up, annabeth's warms are wrapped around his neck. only for the briefest of seconds does he remain frozen, but it's instinctual to wrap his arms around her waist and press his chin against her crown. but it's short-lived, her pulling away to act like nothing is wrong — from the little girl who had been so hellbent on surviving on her own with her little hammer, he can see how she tries to take to her nails and fix the wooden structure of the home she's attempting to build with frantic swings of the hammer he had purposefully taken from her grasp, perhaps knowing, in the future, it would do nothing against the monsters that wished to shred her into pieces. ]

[ he attempts to play along. ] Uh. [ the only dogs he knows are clarisse's — and that's because he had been there when she'd gotten them. perhaps that's why achlys and polemos always come to him — he'd been there when they had basically been born. but he doesn't know athee, and it shows in the manner that he pauses. ] No. [ it feels like the wrong thing to say, even if yes holds the exact same uncomfortable weight on his tongue. ] The dogs I know tend to try and crush me. [ sort of like their "mother". his smile is small, ] Athee's going to have a hell of a lot of competition if she wants in on that.

Sometimes brains is better than brawns, right Athee? ( it doesn't have her usual athenian viper bite to it -- she's too tired for it. clarisse could probably come in and preach the good word of ares, and she'd only be able to nod her head and say yeah, probably. she spins on her heels, headed towards the closet, giving a noncommittal wave back at luke. ) Her winged-dog species -- very mischievous. She's playing tricks on us all the time.

( us, there it is again. annabeth cringes where luke can't see, waving a hesitant hello over at maia, before busying herself with emptying their closet. it's not that she's necessarily trying to get rid of any of percy's things, although having them here and looking at them is painful, she's just never rifled through his stuff before. she needs to double check what she's protecting, what she's keeping hidden in her room. percy's shard glimmers on her bedside table.

it's methodical, meticulous. forget sorrow and do the intelligent thing -- it sounds like something athena would say to her. focus, build up the walls percy had supported single-handedly within her, become stronger, independent. do the right thing, be older than you are, braver than you are, smarter than you are. be like your mother.

she doesn't really feel like being a demigod, not right now. she just wants to be a sad, lonely teenager, who misses her boyfriend, who plucks boxes and jackets from their closet like she's trying to latch closely onto memories they hold -- afraid to forget, afraid to lose. they've taken percy, they can't take the memory of him too. )

[ with amusement: ] I could probably learn a thing or two from her. [ given he's tricky and also is of the winged species variety, perhaps athee had been given to the two most boring and serious people within the drabwurld in hopes of sprucing up their lives with some laughter. but the joke doesn't quite sit on his tongue, nor does the comment she takes after him, either. the latter will never really have a place, just as the former will only invite even more grief into the room as he reminds her she's lost him, too. ]

[ luke remains where he is, gaze flittering toward the dog with wings, the fox that buries herself into the sheets, and the girl who refuses to even look at him. perhaps she knows she can only hide from him so long before he unlocks that particular, tricky lock most people struggle with. athena children hardly feel, too logical and intellectual to become emotional, but he's seen and witnessed and heard the manner in which athena is overprotective of at least one of her children. it's all he's ever wanted from his father. ]

You too, actually. [ he keeps his gaze on her back, hands in the pockets of his jeans as he takes a few steps forward to stop. he's seen it before, in his mirror as he had taken to covering that up before he fled caer glaem the first time. avoiding the serious things, fleeing from them — it's a trait she's unfortunately picked up from him. it does more damage than good, running away from the monster you know you can't slay, but it's one you can at least tangle with and put to rest for a few years. his voice is soft, if firm, ] You can't trick me into thinking you're rainbows and sunshine, so how about we just cut the crap.

( annabeth tries very hard, sometimes, not to let people know how she's feeling -- it's difficult for a girl who feels so much so often, but it's better than facing her hard emotions dead on. putting sadness and confusion and loss into a small box with satin ribbons tied at the ends, it's easier than admitting i don't know what to do without him. she's been here, before. she's tasted the loss of friends and loved ones -- even percy. she knows what the heavy stone of loneliness feels like when it sits in the back of her throat, but it doesn't make it any easier to lock away where the light of day can't reach. it's easier to keep it from luke, to keep him out, at least in this fashion.

of course, she's always transparent to him, and it's not like she's doing a particularly good job at it right now. when he speaks up, she stops what she's doing -- attempting once, to smile, to continuing faking her okayness with the world and the deceptive ways it gives her what she wants only to snatch it right back out of her hands. it doesn't work, and annabeth feels like a stilted dam about to burst -- she glances up and luke, hands resting in her lap, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. in remorse. )

What do I say? ( she has a thousand different cries sitting on her tongue, but none come to mind that she wants to elaborate on -- not to luke, at least, not to the man who will always own some part of her heart. annabeth bites her lip and glances down, eyes watering before spilling into her hands, but she makes no movement to catch them or stop them. this is what luke wanted, after all. a dam cracked, leaking, under pressure. )

You know we fell into Tartarus together? And what did we tell each other before we fell -- as long as we're together. Like -- as long as we're together, everything's going to be okay. ( she sniffs, loudly, bowing her head far enough to be parallel with the ground. ) But -- we're not together! And it isn't okay, and I don't know what to do. It's not okay, it's not.

i never knew him and i don't know you
but i'm sorry your friend is gone

( lydia understands the major blowage of losing people here )

Thank you, I appreciate it.

( part of her feels awful that she wishes percy never left -- not that it safer at home, or anything, but it is home there. here is just temporary, as percy has demonstrated. )

He's my boyfriend.
I guess it's just feel weird to not have him by me, you know?

( oh well that just makes it suck so much more )

i know the feeling. my best friend was here for awhile. it's a little different, but when you're used to a person being around you all the time, and they're gone...

maybe he'll come back.

( she's been single for awhile, but... allison. allison fucking argent, ruining her entire existence. )

I'm sorry about your friend, too.

( she is. she wouldn't wish this crippling loneliness on anyone -- not her worst enemy, and certainly not on some nice person over the lockets. )

Maybe. I'm not sure I'm supposed to want him to.
But I do.

thank you.

it doesn't matter if you're supposed to or not. it's normal to want to be close to the people you care about. i get it. you'd rather have him be stuck here where you can make sure he's okay.

That's a good way of thinking about it.
And trust me, if you knew Percy, you'd know he needs looking after.

Was your friend like that too?
You had to keep an eye on them?
It's always the heroic ones that cause the most trouble.

allison wasn't the type to need to be looked after. she was the strongest person i've ever met. she wouldn't let people protect her or shelter her.

I definitely have a few friends like that.
She sounds like a strong person, though.
I bet wherever she is, she's taking care of herself.

she's dead.

( it takes her a solid while to respond -- too guilty to apologize, too at a loss to think of anything else to say. eventually annabeth bites her lip and carries on, two texts, one right after the other. )

I'm so, so sorry.
I didn't mean to say anything cruel to you.

My best friend died, too.
He's here though.

Maybe she'll come back, one day.

( or her corpse will. )

( lydia appreciates the level of understanding, and this girl's sympathy. wow annabeth. so nice. much sweet. wow. )

you couldn't have known. there's nothing to apologize for.

she'd already died when she was here the first time. i'm not holding my breath, but... it's not impossible. this place has a lot of magic to it. resurrection apparently included.

( ♥ what are gfs for bb )

Yeah, definitely.
I don't want to get your hopes up, but I also don't want you to lose hope.
Thinking Percy might come back is sort of the only thing that's keeping me going right now.
Either way, I hope your friend finds peace wherever she ends up.
I hope we all do.

i hope, for your sake and for his, that he does come back. i'm not sure what i'd do if it were my boyfriend that disappeared. not that i actually have one right now, but... you get the sentiment.

i'm lydia, by the way.

Yeah, I get you.
Ladies just gotta keep on keeping on, I guess.

I'm Annabeth Chase. Seelie side.
Lydia is a pretty name.

i think beyoncé had it right when she said girls run the world

( maybe you'll get that reference. she hopes. )

the circumstances are a major downer but it's nice to meet you anyway. and thank you, annabeth is too. it's not one you hear often.

also seelie.

how long have you been here?

Who run the world?
Girls.

Nice to meet you too, Lydia.
And thanks.
Not just for the compliment, but everything.

Not too long. I arrived at the latest feast, almost a month ago.
What about you?

oh thank god, someone else who isn't from some weird medieval world or other. *you* are my new best friend.

i've been here for... ten months or so? yeah, sounds about right.

I hear that.
It's pretty interesting to hear where people are from, but.
Sometimes I miss people I'm more used to.

No kidding?
I'm not sure if I should be impressed or offer condolences.
That's a long time to be away from home.

the painful lack of pop culture is occasionally difficult to live through. fashion, also. my god, this ren-faire chic gets old fast.

i've had weird vision-dreams of my future that felt like i'd gone back. i guess it's kind of like a visit. it hasn't been so bad, though. annoyingly lacking in smartphones and my car, but the fairies gave me my dog, and some of my friends from home are still here. i've met new people, too. it's exhausting sometimes, but i've learned a lot. which is a bonus. up my language fluency to four, check.

Oh my god.
I miss jeans like I miss my mother.

( athena mom. not the step one. )

Really? That's pretty interesting.
Is that like when I hear about people falling asleep for a month, or something?
I've pretty much lived in the library since I've got here, I think I read a little about that, somewhere.
They seem to be pretty nice to us, I guess.
You know, for captors.

they have some modern (ish) textiles at the station. i don't wear jeans much even at home but you can find them.

( one day, that conversation will happen, and everything will be awkward. )

pretty similar, yeah. the duration is different sometimes, but it's about the same effect. maybe the same cause. i haven't gotten to the bottom of it yet. there's still a lot here that needs more researching, stones left unturned.

the seelie don't really like to be considered captors. they may have gotten us to agree to this with trickery and talking in circles, but we agreed to it... they have us on a technicality.

[ clarisse feels like she just had this conversation with percy about annabeth leaving. honestly, it wasn't that long ago, maybe a couple of months at the most, and now it's happening all over again, just opposite. if clarisse wasn't pissed off then, she sure as hell is now. annabeth leaving the second time she could deal with; they'd all been so busy with the moon and everything else that there hadn't really been time to do the friend thing. in hindsight, she hadn't even been here that much longer than the first time. clarisse could deal with it, because it's not like they'd been gearing up for a huge and imminent war; it'd been the calm before the storm then. ]

[ but percy — stupid fucking annoying useless percy — of course he had the gall to disappear right when clarisse needs him most. she hates that she hates that he's gone — shouldn't she be happy? finally! they finally got rid of percy jackson! she should be overjoyed, relieved that she doesn't have to put up with him anymore, but all she feels is the heat of her own anger and the weight of his stupid fucking sword in her pocket. but the thing she hates the more than the fact that he's gone is that over the course of the five months percy had been here, she'd come to depend on him at all, the fact that they'd actually grown closer, to the point where she might actually openly call him her friend and maybe be proud of it. ]

[ now she just wants to scream and cry and punch something all at the same time. it's not fair, and it's just now hitting her that this is probably what luke felt like the first time annabeth disappeared. she isn't about to steal anyone's chariot, but she does feel like setting something on fire, wrecking shit, doing anything to work through these stupid emotions. why percy? why now? if she were feeling a little less rational and a lot more inebriated, she'd storm into the audience chamber and toss riptide on the floor and demand answers from ridire himself — why ask her to assemble an elite team if he's just going to send one of those members home? it doesn't make sense to her anymore than riptide choosing her makes sense. she wishes it had just disappeared along with him so she wouldn't have a constant reminder she can't ever get rid of. ]

He left me Riptide, I guess. Funny how I'm finally free of Percy Jackson but now his fucking sword won't leave me alone.

[ she's only thrown it across the room maybe ten times now, and even the dogs somehow know it's not a toy for them to fetch. ]

Edited (lol i know english i promise) 2015-01-18 08:21 (UTC)

( annabeth isn't built for this kind of loss -- she's a strong girl, of course, and she's tasted loss on her tongue like listerine dissolvables, but never anything like this. at least when percy had disappeared after their fight in manhattan, annabeth could have faith that they would see each other again, that percy was alive and well and just -- missing. just gone, just for a little while. but now they're on separate worlds entirely -- now annabeth is here while she can only assume percy is back home, not even recognizing that they're separated.

he won't be looking for her, is what that means. he'll be there and happy, and she'll be here and pining.

but he'd still written notes, which means he must have willingly gone -- annabeth doesn't know what to think, really. percy wouldn't have left without her, would he? he should have, definitely, but annabeth's not sure he would, not without some fight. it makes her head hurt, thinking about it, and she wishes for once that she could just -- clear her brain, just for a minute. take emotions and heart throbs out of the way and just consider this situation logically.

she has to talk to all the demigods, she thinks. that's where she'll start. thankfully, clarisse saves her a little bit of trouble. )

I have his shard.
I'm not sure what to do with it.

( at least with clarisse she doesn't feel bad for being a little vulnerable -- not like thalia who she wants to impress, not like luke who she doesn't want to worry after her. clarisse is just clarisse, annabeth's truest friend, someone who doesn't make annabeth feel complicated, like she has to wear a facade for how she's really feeling. )

Riptide chose a good owner.
You'll take care of it, won't you?

[ she's not sure what to tell annabeth. she could tell her the same thing she told percy — to stop being a fucking baby and get over himself, because one way or the other, they were going to be reunited and see each other again and have their nausea-inducing happy ending — but it doesn't entirely seem right. annabeth isn't being as pathetic as percy, and clarisse almost feels bad for wanting to take out her anger and frustration on someone who she knows doesn't deserve it, not only because annabeth is her friend, but because she's going through the exact same thing. they're so much more similar than anyone knows; they're both grieving, and they're both dealing with it in probably a similar fashion — pretending they're fine. ]

There isn't much you can do with it. Turn it into a necklace or a ring, I don't know. Just be glad it's fucking useless, or it would have meant a lot worse than Percy going back home.

[ it would have meant he'd be dead, and that's not something clarisse is sure she'd ever be able to handle. ]

I won't lose it, if that's what you mean. Oh, wait. I can't, even if I wanted to.

Annabeth, I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?

[ percy was one of thomas's close friends, and he was just getting to know annabeth, too--he can only imagine how he'd feel if teresa or minho disappeared. she must be heartbroken. ]

Edited 2015-01-18 17:37 (UTC)

Hey Thomas. I'm all right.

( she's not, not really, but there's no point throwing a pity party for herself. it won't bring percy back any sooner. )

Are you? I know you and Percy were close.

I'm okay. It's not like we got to see each other that often, but...
He's a great guy, you know?

Is he going back somewhere--or sometime, I guess--safe?

He's the best guy I know.

Yeah, I think so.
Or -- relatively safe.
Nothing he can't handle.
Strong as an iceberg, that one.

He wrote me a letter before he left, I think.
He told me to look after you, Thomas.
Isn't that dumb?
"I love you/ By the way, please mom over this guy on the other side."
Stupid Percy.

I'm still going to do it.
I think he worried about you.

Strong as an iceberg sounds about right.
An ocean, I guess.
He might appreciate the water pun.

Are you serious? [ percy i swear to god ]
He was the one who got into trouble all the time.
Fair enough, I guess.
I'm okay with that if you are.

I guess that explains why Blackjack greeted me with loud snuffle to the face as soon as I walked outside. He's still following me around. Not that I mind, but you know. I don't understand why they would send him home.

I'm glad he's in good hands.
Poor Blackjack, though. No one can understand what he's saying other than Percy.
You'll let me come visit sometimes?

Me either.
Though, I kind of... I have a thought.
It's not a pleasant one.

I was thinking about that, too. I wish I could hear his thoughts. And yeah, of course! You don't even have to ask. Anytime. Oh?

Cool, thank you.
Maybe next week sometime?

Well, the Queen really likes Percy.
The only thing I can think of is that she sent him home to protect him.
Which makes me nervous for the rest of us, when fighting is so close.

I think it could go either way. If the queen thinks we're going to be up against something big next, why take out one of her best fighters? Unless it's going to be *really* bad. But I don't think she'd split you two up, if that's the case. Maybe it's not really something the monarchs actually control. Maybe they only control when we're invited here, but not if we're sent back. It'd be nice if they were actually straightforward about this kind of thing.

[ it takes a bit for reyna to process the words she's reading. it's not that she doesn't understand them or that the letters are flipping around. no, it's just that the idea of annabeth here without percy seems a bit wrong. out of the two of them, reyna has to admit she knows that annabeth can handle herself just fine and she'd maybe be more concerned about percy without annabeth despite him having friends here. still, separating them isn't something that's supposed to happen. ]

He'll be alright. [ it's not what she needs to say, but it's what she has to maybe get out of the way first. ] It doesn't make sense to take him away like this.

I'm sorry.

[ reyna's thankful this is text, even if things at home are heading in wonderful directions and reyna likes annabeth, she knows very well her apology would probably sound stilted no matter what she did.

( annabeth appreciates it, nonetheless. even in an audio message, she'd appreciate the time reyna took to say as much, no matter how small or short words may be. annabeth takes a good moment to respond, saying things and deleting them before she just says screw it and goes with what her heart tells her. her brain doesn't feel like computing, just for this one small moment of her life. )

I'm sorry too.
I'm worried about him.

( a little bit of a constant state for annabeth, but she's been here before -- without percy, without any means of contacting him to make sure he's okay. )

At least he didn't have to go through another war, right?
I guess it's better to be optimistic.
He's going home to one, anyway.

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