4 ☭ ENCRYPTED TEXT | JAN 1 | OPEN TO BOTH COURTS

[marred]

[ everything is great and dandy and shit, but, luke's been trying to escape these four cows for a long-ass time. some in caer glaem may have seen four ladies eating the grass and gossiping, perhaps even speaking to two snakes as they all sit around in their mother's meeting and have a little giggle. luke wants to get the fuck out of cow dodge — to be reminded hermes is a cow fucker and won a bet to trade for a herd of cows makes him a disgrace in luke's eyes. ]

[ and because he's the tech master, his locket identifier changes to ophiotaurus and the broadcast has a few nifty things attached to it, like blinking, glittery text. ]

SPECIAL CHRISTMAS SALE

Step right up, folks, and get your own talking, mooing, milk-giving, butter-making cow! A nice chocolate brown, she'll tend to your lawn like there's no tomorrow! Free milk, free conversation, and a hell of a lot of meat if you're into that. Pretty sure that milk is made of gold, too ...

All you need to do is offer up an object for trade and you've got yourself a deal.

Delivery is free. Guaranteed item the moment you trade. Please give it and a rat (it's only courteous!) to the snake delivering your cow.

WHILE STOCKS LAST!

NO REFUNDS!!!

( please note calliope, cleo, ero, and hymn will return to luke after a day of their own free will! they're loyal to only him, so, they're going to be boomerangs, much to his displeasure. he will not be giving anything back without someone doing a few things for him — these cows gossip, so please be aware they will return to him with some info about your dude (so please lmk what you want them to know)! feel free to continue trying to buy a cow, luke really wants to get rid of them atm. )

Comments

[athousandcurses]

A talking cow?

[Grainne. No. Stop.]

video.

[sokkcasm]

[ sokka has never actually heard of a cow cow — a hippo cow, sure, but just a cow? it must be some kind of really rare animal like the earth king's bear ... which is just a bear. sokka still doesn't understand how bosco is just a bear, but that's really a subject for investigation for another day. this cow has really taken sokka's interest ... and he's into meat! he's really into meat. it's like his favorite thing. he wonders what a cow would taste like, because it probably doesn't taste much like a hippo cow. ]

[ — wait. did it say the cow could talk? ]

Hey! I'll take one! I mean, I don't know about you, buddy, but I think you'd look a lot better in green than I would. [ awkwardly, he holds up the earth kingdom robes he arrived in. look at these robes, luke. aren't they beautiful. ] They're royal robes, actually, probably made of the finest silks in the Earth Kingdom. So whaddya say? [ he looks so hopeful; he has no idea luke is going to totally scam him. ] Deal?

video;

[quest]

A talking cow?

[ because, you know, this place didn't have enough strange stuff in it already, let's add talking farm animals into it too! ]