4 ☭ ENCRYPTED TEXT | JAN 1 | OPEN TO BOTH COURTS

[marred]

[ everything is great and dandy and shit, but, luke's been trying to escape these four cows for a long-ass time. some in caer glaem may have seen four ladies eating the grass and gossiping, perhaps even speaking to two snakes as they all sit around in their mother's meeting and have a little giggle. luke wants to get the fuck out of cow dodge — to be reminded hermes is a cow fucker and won a bet to trade for a herd of cows makes him a disgrace in luke's eyes. ]

[ and because he's the tech master, his locket identifier changes to ophiotaurus and the broadcast has a few nifty things attached to it, like blinking, glittery text. ]

SPECIAL CHRISTMAS SALE

Step right up, folks, and get your own talking, mooing, milk-giving, butter-making cow! A nice chocolate brown, she'll tend to your lawn like there's no tomorrow! Free milk, free conversation, and a hell of a lot of meat if you're into that. Pretty sure that milk is made of gold, too ...

All you need to do is offer up an object for trade and you've got yourself a deal.

Delivery is free. Guaranteed item the moment you trade. Please give it and a rat (it's only courteous!) to the snake delivering your cow.

WHILE STOCKS LAST!

NO REFUNDS!!!

( please note calliope, cleo, ero, and hymn will return to luke after a day of their own free will! they're loyal to only him, so, they're going to be boomerangs, much to his displeasure. he will not be giving anything back without someone doing a few things for him — these cows gossip, so please be aware they will return to him with some info about your dude (so please lmk what you want them to know)! feel free to continue trying to buy a cow, luke really wants to get rid of them atm. )